Do you check your partners phone

suzannewysiwyg

With my ex husband, I used to read his texts often. This was because he was a liar. (I caught him out 3 times!!) I also used to check his email and history on the PC - some of the things I found on there - the mind boggles! He would never allow me to have his password for the computer, although it was supposedly a business account - in which I was a partner!

He said I was possessive and it was 'all in my mind'! I left him in the end.

I have been with my new partner for two years - I don't check his phone, his email, or anything, because I trust him - we share things :-) . I know his passwords etc etc, because we have a mutual trust.

I think if you have your concerns they are often founded. Mine were!

Morglin

Bettyboop wrote: »

Well for me I read his phone because my instinct told me something wasn't right and GUESS WHAT....that was how I found out of two of his AFFAIRS! His mobile was attached to him like a piece of jewellery.....and one night he left it in his jacket pocket and that's when I read everything! For those who out of loyalty don't like to read there husbands/boyfriends phones you have every right if something doesn't seem right and even if it's to satisfy your own insecurities.

It's not loyalty that stopped me checking - it's the fact that I find it intrusive to check what belongs to others, and the fact that if either of my husband's had preferred to look elsewhere for what they want, then best they go and do that.:whistle:

I don't want to be with someone that plays away - if I had found out either had or is, then that would be it (for me).:rolleyes:

Others feel different, and that's their choice.

Lin

lil_me

dihunny wrote: »

Wonderful-that put a smile on my face. Now how do i do that?:T

dihunny

Go into address book, change her number to yours if you think there is a suspicious one, delete her number after you have written it down. In his phone it was saved as Mam. I knew his Mam didn't have another phone and this appeared when his behaviour changed. When he text her, he text me, of course my phone was on silent so he didn't notice. I rang her and asked her what was going on. Ok slightly bold of me but that is the way I am.

msmicawber

No, I wouldn't read another person's mail or check their phone or whatever and I would hate it if they did it to me. I've nothing to hide, but feel that everyone's entitled to privacy.

One of the strains in my relationship with my ex was that he wouldn't afford me any privacy. Even now after we've been split up for years and he comes to collect the children, he'll quite happily pick up a letter addressed to me and read it, or question me about it, and I find that appalling. My family have never done that and I cant get used to it.

I went through his things once when he was abroad and his father was in hospital so I could track him down and let him know. I felt awful doing it, and was so apologetic, but he didn't care.

Anneliese13

I don't like phone technology at all. I've had a text sent to me by mistake from an ex ( who still had my number) asking someone if they wanted to go out for a drink and a lovey dovey text voicemail left on the landline which turned out to have been accidentally sent by my DD's friend's Mum to her husband!

Both have caused my partner to go mad. I don't mind him looking at my phone as I have nothing to hide but I could have done without the arguments and upset.

Queenie

nickyhutch wrote: »

Nothing should be private if you're married/committed. Surely that's the point? What's mine's yours, what's yours, is mine?

You still retain a level of individuality, surely!? The "what's yours/mine" is about your belongings not your whole self. Being married doesn't make you both clones of one another and it's healthy to be an individual in some aspects. You should have your own friends and interests - I'm not talking affairs :laugh:

No I wouldn't read someone else's text messages. I wouldn't read someone else's private letters and I wouldn't listen in on private conversations either. By that same token, I wouldn't expect anyone to do the same to me.

Edimew

I'd have thought if anyone having an affair was daft enough to keep messages on their phone, they want to be caught.

stoptheworldIwannagetoff

I always text/email/msn my best friends (husband and wife) separately but there is 'nothing going on' and none of us have anything to hide.

One day recently she read a saved chat string between me and her husband and misunderstood something I said to him.... accused him of all sorts regarding me... didn't wait to hear the truth and has now accused me of splitting them up!!!!

nickyhutch

Queenie wrote: »

Being married doesn't make you both clones of one another and it's healthy to be an individual in some aspects. You should have your own friends and interests

And reading each others' texts doesn't make you a clone of each other either; nor does it stop you being individual. And I'm sorry, but we also have our own friends and interests. I wasn't trying to say a married couple should blend into one, just that I (and my DP) don't see anything wrong with reading each others' texts. We're also very individual - we just know everything that's going on with each other, and I see nothing wrong in that. We see no reason to keep things private/secret form each other.

Each to their own - I wouldn't be happy with someone who stopped me reading their mail/texts, and I wouldn't dream of stopping him doing the same. I've nothing to hide, and neither has he.

1sttimer_2

Edimew wrote: »

I'd have thought if anyone having an affair was daft enough to keep messages on their phone, they want to be caught.

I never read my OH texts on his mobile, as he gets loads from male/female sports mates so never questioned when he received them. THEN I found some saved private messages on the desktop on the family computer - opened them and Lo and Behold - he was having an affair!

When we discussed it, I said if he'd hidden his pm's I would never have found out, but because they were so apparent, he must have wanted to be caught!

We don't check out our e-mails or txts unless we ask each other to. But I must be honest and say I have been known to 'check' his e-mails out when he's not there - just in case