Do you check your partners phone

snowmaid

I think that the moment there are 'secrets' in a relationship and certain areas are off limits, that is a perfect breeding ground for things to go wrong. Nothing should be off limits, why bother being in a relationship? Hubby NEVER leaves a room to chat and neither do I. We even swop phones e.g. if my battery has run flat.

He also has access to my emails and visa versa, although we never spend time in there!

Alikay

No, but I don't feel any need to. If my OH gave me cause to be suspicious, or if I just got the feeling that he was hiding something, then yes I would check his phone, pockets, emails..everything!!! He works away a lot, so theoretically has opportunity to cheat, but I trust my instincts to pick up on anything not quite right.

I have however checked my teenagers' phones - when DD was younger she was up to something that needed a stop putting to it. We told her what we'd discovered as she'd been lying to us. She was incandescent with rage at what she said was a violation of her right to privacy: Yes there was a loss of trust, but her behaviour had been potentially damaging and against our wishes. We told her that once she got a job, moved out and started paying her own way, she could have as much privacy as she wanted!

Dan_Thunder

nickyhutch wrote: »

Nothing should be private if you're married/committed. Surely that's the point? What's mine's yours, what's yours, is mine?

It's not about privacy or secrets, it's about trust & respect. Unless she asked me too then what possible reason would I have to look at my wife's text messages or E-mails?

lemontart

I used to check the pet teens email as I had serious concerns over someone she was in contact with and thank god I did the guy was my age, married with 2 kids and was doing all the typical grooming stuff you hear about (at the time pet teen was going through very bad patch having been attacked at school, loosing her grandad and more) so was able to act upon it and report him to appropiate people in states where he lived.

She was non too happy with me at the time, but couple years on she is certainly a lot wiser to the world and understands why and is actually happy that I protected her and others,.

Liz

madhouseof4

I don't do it, but I probably would if he suddenly forbid me from using his phone or computer

snowmaid

Alikay wrote: »

No, but I don't feel any need to. If my OH gave me cause to be suspicious, or if I just got the feeling that he was hiding something, then yes I would check his phone, pockets, emails..everything!!! He works away a lot, so theoretically has opportunity to cheat, but I trust my instincts to pick up on anything not quite right.

I have however checked my teenagers' phones - when DD was younger she was up to something that needed a stop putting to it. We told her what we'd discovered as she'd been lying to us. She was incandescent with rage at what she said was a violation of her right to privacy: Yes there was a loss of trust, but her behaviour had been potentially damaging and against our wishes. We told her that once she got a job, moved out and started paying her own way, she could have as much privacy as she wanted!

:T :T :T Well done! As far as I am concerned if a child violates your trust, they have NO RIGHT to privacy. Some parents are far too lenient. By knowing exactly what your child is doing and where they are at ALL times you are protecting that child. A child will get respect when its earned. This will apply to them in adulthood and they need to learn that as children.

nickyhutch

Dan_Thunder wrote: »

It's not about privacy or secrets, it's about trust & respect. Unless she asked me too then what possible reason would I have to look at my wife's text messages or E-mails?

I can see your point, but still think that if you've nothing to hide, why would it bother you?

Sugar_Coated_Owl

I've read an ex boyfriend's text messages and emails (he left it signed in) and yes he was being deceitful.

Dan_Thunder

Personally it'd bother me because it would show that to some extent she doesn't trust me.

nickyhutch

That's where we differ then. I personally think the importance of trust in a relationship is overstated. Not trustworthiness, but trust in each other.