Son being bullied/assulted at high school

ANNIEHAHA

Have written an email to the principal reg. my meeting, moved from 2.40 to 3.10, then started at 3.15, was told they had a whole school assembly and a whole staff meeting at 3.30 because OFSTED are coming in tomorrow.

I have stated all this and said I will take my child out of their care if this continues (trouble is my son does not want to miss lessons!) I know they have a legal responsability to provide the work. I also stated I will contact parentview which is linked to OFSTED.

I will be taking him to the doctors because of the way he feels psychologically and hope they may be able to support my apllication, I have been told to jump up and down, I understand without names they cannot go to the source but the reason is my son is scared of reprocussions

Thanks for ALL your advice, its great to have support

faerie~spangles

For what its worth I discovered evidence I reckoned to be bullying by one of my offspring and their friends. (A joke taken too far)

To put it in context: If my kid was being subjected to what I found I'd have gone ballistic.

I went to the school and told them and was fobbed off. Only when I threatened the school with police involvement did they do anything to protect the kid.

I also made sure that my little darling and friends knew of the consequences of their actions.



The incident I'm talking about was no where near the severity of a child being bitten.

faerie~spangles

ANNIEHAHA wrote: »

Have written an email to the principal reg. my meeting, moved from 2.40 to 3.10, then started at 3.15, was told they had a whole school assembly and a whole staff meeting at 3.30 because OFSTED are coming in tomorrow.

I have stated all this and said I will take my child out of their care if this continues (trouble is my son does not want to miss lessons!) I know they have a legal responsability to provide the work. I also stated I will contact parentview which is linked to OFSTED.

I will be taking him to the doctors because of the way he feels psychologically and hope they may be able to support my apllication, I have been told to jump up and down, I understand without names they cannot go to the source but the reason is my son is scared of reprocussions

Thanks for ALL your advice, its great to have support

Call me cynical.

No mother would put up with her child being physically bitten and emotionally abused unless they were looking for ways to increase their benefits.

ETA or self interest.

daisiegg

CKhalvashi wrote: »

I've still got my sister here, who's been a Head for the last 6 years, and she's stated the same as I have; plus she'd permanently exclude the culprits. Neither of us know why the school are !!!!!footing around.

CK

Well, presumably because they don't know who to exclude! The OP's son won't name any names (perfectly understandably of course) so what can they actually do?

OFSTED may be a blessing in disguise - you should be given a parent survey by them. You could enclose with it a strongly worded letter explaining what has happened regarding the bullying.

However, I would like to know what people actually expect the school to do if they don't know who has done this, and the OP's son won't tell them. Presumably they don't have CCTV. They could have a teacher walk him to and from his lessons and sit with him all lunch time......but do you really think that would LESSEN a bullying problem for the poor child, being singled out like that?!

I feel for you OP. It's a sh**ty situation

Mojisola

daisiegg wrote: »

Well, presumably because they don't know who to exclude! The OP's son won't name any names (perfectly understandably of course) so what can they actually do?

Well, the school could have a massive anti-bullying drive with assemblies, workshops, discussions in class, etc.

Teachers and other staff should be asked to be extra vigilant, looking for incidents of bullying, changes in behaviour which may indicate bullying, etc.

In most schools, teachers could easily name the probable bullies. Those children could be discretely monitored.

For the school to do nothing unless the bullies are named suggests they don't want to recognise the problem and don't want to have to deal with it.

I would make sure that the issue is raised with the OFSTED inspectors.

SmallL

The grammer school i went to had a fair and hard stance on bullying, my OH was bullied in sixth form by someone in year 10/11, so one day he grabbed the kid and headbutted him.
They both got suspended for a week but my OH got the sympathy of the teachers as they knew what a terror the other boy was.

It wasn't right for my OH to physically assualt him, but if you push the wrong person...

At the time i was in floods of tears as i assumed my OH would be kicked out of school permanantly, but i was suprised at the fairness of the head and take my proverbial hat off to him for reviewing our case on an individual basis.

alinwales

daisiegg wrote: »

I agree. At my school, if a pupil were to physically assault another child, they would be out! Bullying is taken incredibly seriously. ..

Some of my bullying experiences, and of my nephew (also in Norfolk as it happens, just started year 9 now i think) are by kids who have already been excluded from other schools (in my case) or are under 'inclusion measures' (whatever that newfangled policy thing is - in the case of my nephew).

My wife wants me to talk to my nephew about my experiences. What can I tell him? Leave after year 11 and try to wipe all the memories from your head? The damage is already done. The school didn't do anything, apart from assigning a teacher who told me he would 'monitor the situation' ha ha what a joke. I do remember having a year assembly where we were told not to bully another girl in my class - I had no idea she was being bullied. I should have shouted out 'what about me!'.

Once I pulled up the courage to punch one of the worst bullies just before the teacher came in the room. In hindsight, I would have punched his face repeatedly, with the teacher watching. Right? Definitely not. Therapeutic, yes it would have been!

minimacka

I moved my son to another school at Easter this year, he was in year 10, it took just 2 weeks. My son had had enough of being verbally bullied, his teacher tried to sort it out with the other boys but the damage had been done. My son was so unhappy at his old school I just asked him what could I do to make him feel better and he said move schools. So I rang up the local school and asked for a appointment to see the head of year 10, we went to look round the school they told us they had a place for him after looking through his exam results and realising that he was a very bright pupil. Over the weekend I filled a online form with the local education service (Yorkshire) for a school transfer. I then emailed my sons head teacher and his form tutor. I never received so much as a acknowldegment from the head teacher but obviously his form tutor was devistated that he wanted to leave. She practically pleaded with me not to move him and that she would sort the problem out but I said that my son had made his mind up, she told me she was worried about his exam results moving schools so close to year 11 but I was adamant that it didnt matter my son's happiness meant more to me than another year being unhappy at school. He is now very happy at the new school and is doing well, it hasnt been easy for him because the only examination that was the same for both schools is English believe it or not so he had to go back to his old school to sit some exams there but he just got on with it.

I was bullied at school and it never leaves you when i see them now i just think how nasty there were and if they realise what they did to me.

x

thriftychap_2

WelshBluebird wrote: »

So again, have you been to every school in the country? No.
Do you know every teacher in the country? No.
So you cannot say that.

My own experiences of being bullied and trying to get teachers to take it seriously suggest that at least some teachers don't take it seriously at all. And my experiences are repeated by many other people up and down the country. If anything the teachers made it worse by basically siding with the bullies (I remember one incident where I was hit and punched by someone, and they then went to the teacher to say I was the one who was attacking them! They had even bitten their own arm in an attempt to make it look like it was me. Surprise surprise, the teacher believed him. Eventually he confessed to doing it himself, but I got no apology from the staff and he had no punishment at all).

Are you in the profession?? If not you really are not qualified to disregard my opinion. Your assertions are based on what? Definitely not common sense. How about instead of attacking other posters who are trying to help the op you go and troll elsewhere.

You sound very bitter and angry still. Surely there comes a time in life that as an adult you need to look back and put the bullying down to childish ways from children.

The problem with this thread like so many is down to individual interpretations, in this instance of the word bullying. There can be no single universally agreed definition of bullying as its down to perception. Every bodies tolerance of others actions is different.

minimacka

faerie~spangles wrote: »

Call me cynical.

No mother would put up with her child being physically bitten and emotionally abused unless they were looking for ways to increase their benefits.

ETA or self interest.

I cannot believe you really put that!!!! her son is being bullied and you think she is thinking she might get extra benefits, what a world we really live in.