Son being bullied/assulted at high school

meritaten

thriftychap wrote: »

As a secondary school teacher I can assure parents that in most schools bullying is taken incredibly seriously.

It appears you have made the decision to remove your son from that school already so my initial advice is no longer applicable.

Unfortunately the effectiveness of any intervention is down to the quality and strength of the teacher you reported this to. I HATE bullies, when one of my tutor group have reported to me a concern regarding their happiness in school as the result of other pupils actions I literally drop everything and seek the accused out and deal with it, if it turns out to be an accurate accusation the bully gets a rocket! Unfortunately or maybe fortunately....... I am know as a bit of a force at school so this is usually enough. I follow up regularly and communicate with home what I have been doing. I give my email address so parents can communicate with me regularly.

My advice is to always report it to a strong teacher, the pupils know who they are, bypass a weak and wet tutor or head of year if necessary.

If the bullying is physical and there are marks inform the police, this usually kick starts slow to act schools.

Ask your son daughter to always make sure they are with someone else, make statements and keep a record. DO NOT LET YOUR SON/DAUGHTER BECOME A VICTIM! by this I mean become emotional at the slightest thing in school and over exaggerate or embellish minor acts. Other pupils see it stamped on their foreheads a mile away and will have a field day. You and they need to be able to tell the difference between playground banter and bullying.

The ultimate action if you are not happy is to write to the chair of governors (write to all the governors, that will get noticed) The head is accountable to them remember and will have to show a record of what has been done to resolve the situation. In turn they will lean on heads of year etc, this will help a lot. If you are not happy with how the school has dealt with it there will more than likely be no paper trail supporting what they say they have done. This will open up a whole big can of worms!

I hope it works out for you.

obviously you care about the wellbeing of your students and I wish more teachers were like you. unfortunately head teachers these days are more like 'politicians' - they prefer to sweep bullying under the carpet. support 'wet' teachers and generally will not deal with bullies effectively.

In fact when choosing a school I would advise parents to ALWAYS ask 'Is there a problem with bullies in this school'? and if the head says 'No, we dont have a problem' avoid that school like the plague! a Head who says 'Bullying is always a problem, but we have measures in place to identify and deal with it' is probably telling you the truth!

WelshBluebird

thriftychap wrote: »

As a secondary school teacher I can assure parents that in most schools bullying is taken incredibly seriously.

But you haven't been to most schools, so you can't really make that judgement.

In my experience bullying is not taken seriously at all, and the people who are bullied are usually seen as a pain by the staff.

Of course that is just my own experiences, so I am not going to claim that is the same everywhere else. All I can say is that I wish all teachers took it as seriously as you try to.

Cat501

God what an utterly heart-breaking thread :(:( My heart goes out to all of you who are suffering at the moment - or those who have in the past. This will sound absolutely awful but I couldn't help feeling a tiny bit of relief when OP said others were being victimised by these same bullies. It's so awful to feel you are the only one being singled out. Is there any way your DS could team up with these other lads? Or could you possibly speak to their parents, perhaps presenting a united front to the school might give them the kick up the ar*e they clearly need?:mad:

Having said that I'd have NO hesitation in keeping him off and calling in the police. I've done it myself (involved the police), it seemed to work when talking to the parents got me nowhere. I also informed the school what was happening although it wasn't actually happening at school.

thriftychap_2

meritaten wrote: »

In fact when choosing a school I would advise parents to ALWAYS ask 'Is there a problem with bullies in this school'? and if the head says 'No, we dont have a problem' avoid that school like the plague! a Head who says 'Bullying is always a problem, but we have measures in place to identify and deal with it' is probably telling you the truth!

good advice. It's my year 7 open evening tomorrow and my response to the question is 'of course but we do xyz to deal with it".

thriftychap_2

WelshBluebird wrote: »

But you haven't been to most schools, so you can't really make that judgement.

In my experience bullying is not taken seriously at all, and the people who are bullied are usually seen as a pain by the staff.

Of course that is just my own experiences, so I am not going to claim that is the same everywhere else. All I can say is that I wish all teachers took it as seriously as you try to.

Wrong. Teachers network, a lot! And we are all very critical of our own school if we think something could be improved. If lack of action over bullying was endemic it would be well known among those in the profession.

affordmylife

the fact that there is a bullying policy in all schools doesnt mean anything happens to sort it out.

they go through the motions mostly and very little changes. bullies will always find someone to bully.

i work in a norfolk high school. its harsh. if you show any sign of weakness or are different in any way you WILL be picked on and its impossible to stop - whatever the policy x

daisiegg

thriftychap wrote: »

Wrong. Teachers network, a lot! And we are all very critical of our own school if we think something could be improved. If lack of action over bullying was endemic it would be well known among those in the profession.

I agree. At my school, if a pupil were to physically assault another child, they would be out! Bullying is taken incredibly seriously. Contrary to some people's beliefs, most teachers have gone into the profession because they actually care a lot about children and young people. Why would they then stand by and let a child's life be made a misery?

OP - does your son know the names and year groups of the boys who are doing this? Just wondering, if it's a very big school and he is not able to identify them by name, that might be what is making it harder for the school to deal with it. NOT that I am justifying the school not dealing with bullies - that is unforgivable.

For the poster who mentioned CCTV...are there really schools that have this?! I have never worked in or heard of a school that does!

I hope the problem gets sorted. My heart goes out to your poor son, OP. Best wishes.

daisiegg

affordmylife wrote: »

the fact that there is a bullying policy in all schools doesnt mean anything happens to sort it out.

they go through the motions mostly and very little changes. bullies will always find someone to bully.

i work in a norfolk high school. its harsh. if you show any sign of weakness or are different in any way you WILL be picked on and its impossible to stop - whatever the policy x

By 'picked on', though, do you mean physical assault to the extent the OP describes? This seems so extreme to me, and maybe I am just lucky to have only ever worked in good schools, but I am shocked that a school is letting this happen!

affordmylife

they have cctv in a lot of high schools now even in the toilets although angled away from the cubicles for some privacy.

daska

I can assure you that physical assaults do happen. Even in primary schools full of cute kids in sparkly clean uniform in the poshest areas of London. And I doubt it's improved in the last 40 years since I was being bitten and kicked by my peers.