Twelve Weeks To Glow

Rainbow_Bridge

Hi GraceJamesMum,

Thanks for popping in to say hello x.

The honest answer is I had quite a bit of EFT counselling, following a bad breakdown, two years ago.

I had dealt very badly with redundancies, among other things, and stress just built up and up like a pressure cooker and one day my brain exploded.

Now I watch myself and if i'm eating or drinking too much or i'm feeling in the slightest bit stressed, I quickly address the issue and make the necessary changes.

It feels incredibly selfish, to be honest, but I have to take care of myself, because I know just how bad I was, and my family need me.

My advice, is to admit to yourself that this is a really stressful period you are going through. You need to be in peak condition to get through it, so take really good care of your mind and body, and find a way of dealing with the stress that doesn't involve overeating or excessive drinking.

If there are any issues from the present or past that are bothering you, talk them out or write them out and work through them. There are persons who are training to be EFT counsellors, who would take on clients for free.

I would, now, work out the worse thing that could happen to me in the event of being made redundant, and how I would cope in that eventuality and once I had faced up to that, I would work out a plan that meant I could make the best of the situation.

Still early days for me though, so I post here every day, and talk to all you lovely people, to keep me on track.

Thinking of you xxx.

Rainbow_Bridge

I've just re-read my post and seen the latest issue that I am going to work through. Just when I thought there couldn't possibly be any more ........

Why do I think it is incredibly selfish, and feel guilty, about taking really good care of myself emotionally and physically? I will give this some thought .

Jox

I'm really glad the EFT helped you, I went to an EFT counsellor in 2006 when I didn't have a clue what EFT was and it helped me with some feelings of guilt I was experiencing.

There's a good EFT website https://www.tapping.com the guy who runs that did a couple of workshops in central London I really enjoyed attending.

I have lots of issues to work out, well done for dealing with your issues in a positive and pro active way (we all have issues!)

NewLeaf_2

I am doing EMDR. I hope it works

Rainbow_Bridge

Day 14 of 12 week challenge - 78/365 - 21.3%.

I have read about EMDR NewLeaf, and it is supposed to be very effective.

Jox, I think I should put in my signature 'Proud to be dealing with my issues!'

You are right, we all have issues, but so many of us are dealing with them in a really unhealthy manner - smoking, drinking, overeating, anti-depressants, denial, excessive spending, which often compound or mask the problems.

Surely the sensible approach is to find the root of the problem and work through it, because we are worth it x.

I have thought about my latest issue, and I have come to the conclusion that I was brought up to put others first and while I think this is noble, I now think that it only truly works if others are doing the same back.

For me, this approach, led to me being taken for granted a lot of the time, and not ensuring that my own needs were met too.

Now I try and meet people in the middle. DS and DH are happy, truly loved and well cared for. I have set much stricter boundaries with everyone else in my life, and they appreciate me more, even if I am nolonger prepared to be their lacky/whipping boy or emotional sponge!!

This year is about getting myself back on track, and finding a balance that works for me, and I may have to make lots of adjustments along the way, but I am not going to feel guilty about that! If i'm being selfish, then it's my time to be, because I have spent the last 46 years taking care of everyone else.

Yesterday was a NSD, so my £5.55 is still intact.

Onwards and Upwards xx.

"Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves”
Friedrich Nietzsche

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." -Buddha

NewLeaf_2

RB I am trying to summon up the strength to put me first as you have done. Mind if I am your shadow? x

Rainbow_Bridge

Not at all. I am shadowing you too :rotfl:x.

Jox

Great inspirational speech RB, it's so true, probably women especially put others first at the expense of our own health, wealth and sanity!

It can be a shock to our family and friends and colleagues when we're not so available at the drop of a hat but it is important to be the best we can be and then we have more to offer everyone else.

I have phases when I'm on track, eating well, exercising, reading inspirational books and then something happens, knocks me off my feet and I have a couple of weeks / months of self-neglect and self-destructive behaviour and it's back to square one.

Although the periods of self-neglect are getting shorter each time so that's good

Proud to be dealing with my issues and debts

Rainbow_Bridge

Thanks Jox,

That's really helpful. If I do go off track, I will not beat myself up about it, but try and re-adjust as quickly as possible.

It looks like 2012 has been a great year for you money wise. You have paid off all your credit cards and loans. WELL DONE.

Jox

Thanks

My brother in law and girlfriend have been renting a room in my flat so I've put the money they've given me towards debts and thankfully paid them all off in July this year, such a good feeling

They've rented the living room cos it's only a one bed flat so it's been a tight squeeze, but they're looking for their own place soon so me and hubby will be on our own for the first time in 2 years!

Well done on weight loss and savings, good to see the numbers moving in the right direction!