Seeing my boyfriend

Cardiff_Girl_2

I've been lurking here for a while so I've dived in to post please be kind

So I've been seeing this guy, He lives up north and I'm obviously in Cardiff. I work in a call centre earn minimum wage, He works in operations. We met when they were building the call centre and I was in training. We just hit it off from there.

So I've been following the guides to cheap rail travel and at best I've been going up every other week shifts permitting and he has been coming down as often as he can which has been nice.

When he has been down, its been great, but he has paid for everything knowing my situation, I feel bad, I at times feel like I use him, but I don't mean too.

Tonight he texts me saying work are sending him down for a month to start a new project in our office. and he will upgrade the room to a bigger one and I can stay with him for a whole month, I'd love too but got so many butterflies, I don't want him to think I'm some form of leach. My mum suggested I get lunch a few times or take him to where I go, such as the castle or the park. She also suggested that I do his washing to make him feel more comfy.

As I say he pays for everything. I feel bad, He has told me not too. I just feel bad he has to get two receipts for everything. Is there anything I can do thats either free or cheap I can take him too?

My mum says I should enjoy the month with him, but at the end seeing him go back on the train will rip me apart, I want the month to last but scared for the end. I know this is a jumbled mess. maybe someone can help me unjumble

Tropez

He's paying because he wants to. Likely he understands your situation and because he likes you and wants to spend time with you and so few things in life are free he is happy to spend his money to be with you. Providing he isn't the type to lord it over you when you have a disagreement, you really need not to worry about it.

As for free things to do how about picnic in the park? Okay, not completely free, but you can whip a few things together and spend some quality time with each other.

gibson123

I have worked away from home and it is lonely, just keep him company, get him round to yours for a home cooked meal or two, do some normal stuff like cuddling in front of the telly, let him use your washing machine, if your young relatives play sport or if your friends are doing charity bike runs or 1/2 marathons take him along to cheer things on. Don't go on and on about the money side of things, just make sure you always say thank you and send a little card or note at times. Say it like " thank you for paying so we can do these lovely things together"

Cardiff_Girl_2

Tropez wrote: »

He's paying because he wants to. Likely he understands your situation and because he likes you and wants to spend time with you and so few things in life are free he is happy to spend his money to be with you. Providing he isn't the type to lord it over you when you have a disagreement, you really need not to worry about it.

As for free things to do how about picnic in the park? Okay, not completely free, but you can whip a few things together and spend some quality time with each other.

A picnic sounds like a great idea

He doesn't lord it over me when we have argued. I'm just really jittery for a whole month together.

Cardiff_Girl_2

gibson123 wrote: »

I have worked away from home and it is lonely, just keep him company, get him round to yours for a home cooked meal or two, do some normal stuff like cuddling in front of the telly, let him use your washing machine, if your young relatives play sport or if your friends are doing charity bike runs or 1/2 marathons take him along to cheer things on. Don't go on and on about the money side of things, just make sure you always say thank you and send a little card or note at times. Say it like " thank you for paying so we can do these lovely things together"

I do like the notes idea Maybe just leave one on his computer in work.

My little brother plays for his school team, Can take him to that! Ive been to see him play cricket a few times.

I don't talk about money, I just feel bad. He puts it all on his credit card because apparently they pay him money :-S I hope he aint just saying that!

I like the home cooking idea. It would involve a bus journey though. I just dont want public transport to kill the romance haha

whitewing

Your mum sounds like an extremely sensible lady so I would say follow her advice as she knows you and sounds like she is giving you a great balance of freedom to make your own decisions and care that you will be happy.

Also, chill a little and see how it feels when he's there. You don't have to plan the whole month. Just a couple of strategies for the first week; the rest should take care of itself.

Cardiff_Girl_2

whitewing wrote: »

Also, chill a little and see how it feels when he's there. You don't have to plan the whole month. Just a couple of strategies for the first week; the rest should take care of itself.

How do you mean?

I hope we are in the Holiday inn. Lots more staff there and I can feel more relaxed, he was in one hotel with 8 staff members and they all looked at me.

Tropez

Cardiff_Girl wrote: »

A picnic sounds like a great idea

He doesn't lord it over me when we have argued. I'm just really jittery for a whole month together.

It might be worth perusing these boards...

The Welsh moneysaving board - http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=87

Freebies board -
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=37

Discount codes and vouchers board -
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=38

Grabbit board -
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=36

With any luck, you might find some special offers for restaurants (local and chain), cinemas, theatres and other such things to do, or possibly maybe a little gift you could acquire for him if it helps allay your concerns about him spending his money on you.

It might be worth checking to see if any of the local cinemas have discounted screenings (many places do on slow days/nights) or if you have that Orange Wednesday thing. You could also see about abusing LoveFilm and/or Netflix's free month offer for new streaming subscribers for some free entertainment if you have a device such as an Xbox or some TVs/Blu Ray players, or a computer you can connect to the TV and then you can have a few evenings cuddled up together.

Cardiff_Girl_2

I forgot about orange wednesday Do they still do the pizza express offer too?

I love the streaming idea! I can get a netflix subscription and link my computer into the TV in the hotel. Will the hotel tell him off for streaming? I can sneak takeaway into the hotel and just rest up together on the bed. Loving this plan!

If he has said "Come stay with me in the hotel room" would I be too forward to take a case into work on the day he is due down?

Cardiff_Girl_2

Thanks for all your input upto now :-) Still so nervous

Tropez

Cardiff_Girl wrote: »

I forgot about orange wednesday Do they still do the pizza express offer too?

I love the streaming idea! I can get a netflix subscription and link my computer into the TV in the hotel. Will the hotel tell him off for streaming? I can sneak takeaway into the hotel and just rest up together on the bed. Loving this plan!

If he has said "Come stay with me in the hotel room" would I be too forward to take a case into work on the day he is due down?

I don't know about the Pizza Express offer. I only know about Orange Wednesdays due to the adverts for it before every film I've seen at the cinema over the past several years!

I don't know about every hotel but I've used streaming services in hotels before and they've never given me any grief for it. Perhaps if you were watching the 4 and a half hour version of Once Upon a Time in America (not romantic, so I wouldn't recommend it) on a loop they'd have something to say.

It is worth checking that the wifi is free for guests though, and not bought in chunks as that could add up.

As for forward - I suppose it depends how big your case is! If you're not sure as to whether he desires to spend the night I'd take a small bag with a change of clothes and some discreetly packed toiletries and then you have the excuse that you bought some spare clothes so you could change out of your work clothes and then if you are to be spending the night then you can always nip back home on your lunch break the following day to fetch a bigger case.