Single mum bein hounded

andyf3050

likelyfran wrote: »

Anyway, wouldn't this 22 year old mother (dyslexic apparently) of a 5 year old be of more value to society by spending all her time with her young child, being a good mother and producing a happy, healthy (future productive) child?
Or is that too 'old-fashioned' an idea?

If she wasn't relying on everyone else to foot the bill, then yes, what a fantastic idea...!

Miss_Havisham

Could you go and live with your parents, or at least get some monetary help from them ? Also have you searched for the child's father, perhaps through his own family, his employer, Child Support Agency etc ? Perhaps his parents could offer you some financial help or child-minding ?

I know you want us to be "on your side" and agree with your views but the majority of us don't, for the reasons we've given. Instead we are trying to help with advice based on our own experiences. You are in a tough situation but only you can do something about it.

Good luck.

melb

instead of paying £1000 per month on childcare why don't one of you work part-time or try and work opposite shifts. your twins might like seeing more of their parents and you would be better off financially. Don't understand this obsession of how many hours we can work a week to show what good parents and role models we are when our little kids are being shunted off to childcare every day for 8 or 10 hours or wrap-around care at school from 8.00am to 6.00 pm. What is there to be proud of there? It's a damn sight easier to be off to work at 8 in the morning and leaving someone else to look after the kids than entertaining toddlers all day.

tomtom256

melb wrote: »

instead of paying £1000 per month on childcare why don't one of you work part-time or try and work opposite shifts. your twins might like seeing more of their parents and you would be better off financially. Don't understand this obsession of how many hours we can work a week to show what good parents and role models we are when our little kids are being shunted off to childcare every day for 8 or 10 hours or wrap-around care at school from 8.00am to 6.00 pm. What is there to be proud of there? It's a damn sight easier to be off to work at 8 in the morning and leaving someone else to look after the kids than entertaining toddlers all day.

There is more to being a good parent then just spending time with your kids.

Clothes, food and a roof over their head costs money. That has to come from somewhere, so work is the answer.

Me and my wife would love to spend all our time with the kids, but that won't pay the bills or put food on the table.

She does work part time, but we cut the cloth accordingly.

But from your post, I must not care for my children as I need to do a 40 hour week to help pay for this.

rxbren

im going to go out on a limb and say all those defending the op are in the same situation all claiming benefits and sat at home all day getting paid to look after there kids
whats a better example for our kids sit at home on your !!! and get money for nothing or actually work to pay the bills and take pride in the fact that you can afford to pay for child care and buy the things your children need
who would you pick as your role model

gingergee

themull1 wrote: »

Is that Jeremy Kyle? I like 'Whose the daddy?' its always the ugly one!

Yup!! Lol, my ex step-bro was on once! Was ashamed!! Kids weren't his!!!!!!!!!!! Even worse!!!!!!!!!!! Deny knowing him now!!!!!! lol xx

missapril75

Deleted_User wrote: »

...not everyone is the same but I never undersand the negative attitude people have towards working?...Working gives me greater control of my money, better opportunities. I have met so many friend and done so many things through working that I wouldn't have done at home on benefits. ...

Great post.

Of course, the original post is about parenting and working (or not;)) so it's kind of understandable that so many other posts do the same. But the issues are very similar for everyone. Even single/childless.

When I was buying my house (before any of the 'booms') the dole rate was £28. I was left with £20 a week after my housing costs and managed a social life on that.

As time went by things got better - as they tend to when you're working - and I was better off than being on benefits.

But mostly not by that much.

By the time one factored in the costs that didn't have to be paid on benefits - I was mostly about £50 a week better off working (providing I cycled to work) than on Income Support or JSA in whatever form it was through the years.

So many people now don't want to work for only £50 a week extra and yet so many people are actually doing just that.

I think it's a psychological thing. If you're getting some income for doing nothing, and getting by, an extra £50 a week is not so attractive for working 40 hours a week.

But if you're working and that £50 a week pays for a couple of holidays a year and other entertainment and enables you to get 'credit' when needed....well you don't want to lose it.

gingergee

rxbren wrote: »

im going to go out on a limb and say all those defending the op are in the same situation all claiming benefits and sat at home all day getting paid to look after there kids
whats a better example for our kids sit at home on your !!! and get money for nothing or actually work to pay the bills and take pride in the fact that you can afford to pay for child care and buy the things your children need
who would you pick as your role model

I'd pick someone who had a happy medium! Whats the point in having kids, then paying someone else to care for them........

Me personally would give my right arm (left leg, right foot..you get the picture), to be able to work at the min. The OP doesn't know whats around the corner, maybe one day she will regret not doing more now, whilst she could. In 5 years she may have a chronic illness thats trying to kill her.........................

melb

my point was that both parents don't have to work full-time and incur hefty childcare costs to prove they are good parents. one of them could work to provide the money to home, feed and clothe the children and the other could be at home and look after their emotional welfare which is just as important surely.

93123

garynuman wrote: »

Is the OP dyslexic? or is the "g" key missing from her keyboard?

They said they were dyslexic in their post......