Single mum bein hounded

WantToBeSE

flashnazia wrote: »

Sorry if this sounds rude but can I borrow your (rose-tinted) glasses?

I really wish you were right but I beg to differ. I know someone who is a lone-parent adviser and it's amazing how forgetful and fertile some lone-mums get just as they're about to be moved onto JSA...

and this post is a prime example of what 99% of decent lone parents have to deal with, because of the 1% of lone parents like the OP.
Really gets my goat that the majority of single parents get this verbal battering when they are not deserving of it.

pink_princess

Great post Joannenotts :T

I started off as part time on £20 a week less than benefits and worked my way up aswell.

flashnazia

flashnazia wrote: »

Sorry if this sounds rude but can I borrow your (rose-tinted) glasses?

I really wish you were right but I beg to differ. I know someone who is a lone-parent adviser and it's amazing how forgetful and fertile some lone-mums get just as they're about to be moved onto JSA...

WantToBeSE wrote: »

and this post is a prime example of what 99% of decent lone parents have to deal with, because of the 1% of lone parents like the OP.
Really gets my goat that the majority of single parents get this verbal battering when they are not deserving of it.

If you read what I wrote it said 'some lone-mums'. Obviously the adviser I know isn't going to come across many of the responsible ones who are capable of looking after themselves and who aren't looking for any excuse not to work.

WantToBeSE

Sorry flashnazia, apologies. I get so irate seeing posts like the OPs and didnt read your post properly.
Hope you understand.

rogerblack

sniggings wrote: »

And no they will not leave you alone if you have another child, once the child is old enough, they will expect you to work.

Income support is at the moment up to age 5.
It is (in my view) really likely that this may be pushed down in some manner.

likelyfran

Hang on a minute - maybe the OP is a wind-up, maybe not, but assuming it's not:
I don't think people should be saying 'no, having another baby doesn't mean you don't have to work', because that is just not true and is just being said from pure judgement.
If she were to have another baby - correct motivations for having a child aside - the DWP is not going to chase a single mother of a newborn infant to work. Unless things have changed in a significant way that I don't know about!
Anyway, wouldn't this 22 year old mother (dyslexic apparently) of a 5 year old be of more value to society by spending all her time with her young child, being a good mother and producing a happy, healthy (future productive) child?
Or is that too 'old-fashioned' an idea?

Bogof_Babe

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

I am not saying I will be havin a baby for my benefits b4 everyone starts shoutin the odds, but some1 told me that if idid they would pay and take us off jobseekrs.


I just dont thnk its fair because it has only been a few months adn they are being very harsh and pushing me already.

Could I apply for the disbility payments with diabetis and dyslexia, also have severe migraine?

thanks

How long do you think would be reasonable then? A year? Couple of years? Until your child leaves school?

Has your daughter actually started school yet? Or perhaps only last week for the new school year? If that is the case then you are still adapting to not having her around, so maybe the complete change of lifestyle has come as a shock. However that excuse is really only good for the first two weeks or so. Any longer than that and you will get into a rut of apathy while she is at school, instead of being fired up with ambition for your new hours of freedom.

If she has already completed a term or half a term (sorry I don't know how the intake works for tinies) then you are already at risk of losing impetus to go out there and make a fulfilling life for yourself. The time to get moving is now. Don't you want to grab life by the throat and make something of it?

If you want more children, you'll have more chance of meeting a genuine partner in the workplace, one who won't use you until he gets you pregnant then do a disappearing act. Have some pride in yourself... look in the mirror and say "I CAN". Grasp any career advice or free courses offered - seek them out yourself, you obviously have use of a computer.

Your daughter will be so proud of you in years to come. I know people who are proud to say their mum was a cleaner, or their dad worked on the bins, because they had a work ethic and didn't want to rely on hand-outs.

Mupette

likelyfran wrote: »

Hang on a minute - maybe the OP is a wind-up, maybe not, but assuming it's not:
I don't think people should be saying 'no, having another baby doesn't mean you don't have to work', because that is just not true and is just being said from pure judgement.
If she were to have another baby - correct motivations for having a child aside - the DWP is not going to chase a single mother of a newborn infant to work. Unless things have changed in a significant way that I don't know about!
Anyway, wouldn't this 22 year old mother (dyslexic apparently) of a 5 year old be of more value to society by spending all her time with her young child, being a good mother and producing a happy, healthy (future productive) child?
Or is that too 'old-fashioned' an idea?

so a child born to help keep mum on benefits, not made from love and born into a loving stable family that can afford the baby

Bogof_Babe

likelyfran wrote: »

Anyway, wouldn't this 22 year old mother (dyslexic apparently) of a 5 year old be of more value to society by spending all her time with her young child, being a good mother and producing a happy, healthy (future productive) child?
Or is that too 'old-fashioned' an idea?

Ideal, if she has the means to do so, or a partner to support her. Not so ideal when she has to rely on the state to bring her child/ren up.

pickpocketlocket

likelyfran wrote: »

Anyway, wouldn't this 22 year old mother (dyslexic apparently) of a 5 year old be of more value to society by spending all her time with her young child, being a good mother and producing a happy, healthy (future productive) child?
Or is that too 'old-fashioned' an idea?

Are you suggesting she attends school with the child?