Single mum bein hounded

Murphy_Gooner

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

This is what I am lookin for even 25 hours.

Poeple are having a go here but I have been on my own for 5 years, father is disapeeared, my parents are in new zealand and brother is in london so it has been all up to me since she were born.

I did refuse the job interview, it was shifts till seven and was in dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Theres not much advise here just do this and do that without knowing all the facts

Then you need too explain this too the jobcentre.
You obviously need a job where the hours are going too be flexible around your childs school days.

If you get no joy with the job side of things could you not look at doing a college course and look into volunteering as this could help you with speaking too public and help give you some confidence which what i feel you lack.

xylophone

dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Then you had better come up with something you can stand and for which you are qualified?

Irn-Bru-Kid

xylophone wrote: »

Then you had better come up with something you can stand and for which you are qualified?

It is pretty rank though isn't it? Dog food packing

WantToBeSE

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

This is what I am lookin for even 25 hours.

Poeple are having a go here but I have been on my own for 5 years, father is disapeeared, my parents are in new zealand and brother is in london so it has been all up to me since she were born.

I did refuse the job interview, it was shifts till seven and was in dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Theres not much advise here just do this and do that without knowing all the facts, lots of you sound like my advisor and are very unsimpethetic!!

Ok, so all critique aside, there are a few things to consider:

1- If you cant/wont work over 25 hours, then you need to talk to your advisor, explain why not, so that your jobseekers agreement can be altered.

2-While waiting to get a job, a college course or similar may be a great idea, or as someone else suggested, volunteering.

3- Have you considered setting up your own business, or becoming self employed in a role that you do like?

4- Maybe accepting (as has been said before) that nobody really wants to be away from their child for 8 hours a day, but thats life, and has to be accepted. When your child is away at school for 6 of those 8 hours anyway, its only a few extra, just make the weekends more special.

You sound like you are lacking in confidence and think you have it harder than a lot of people, which may be true, but i have been a single parent for almost 9 years, with no family support either, so i know that as hard as it may be, its not impossible.

morganedge

xylophone wrote: »

Then you had better come up with something you can stand and for which you are qualified?

best to just hold out on benefits and hope something a lot better comes along. Maybe a nice/relaxed office based job....

WantToBeSE

Forgot to add this link:

http://www.prospects.ac.uk/myprospects_planner_login.htm

If you register (its free) with the above website, you can fill out a 'what jobs suit me' questionnaire, incase you are unsure. It also provides lots of other advice in regards to job hunting. Its primarily focused on graduates, so ignore that bit if you dont need it

colleensims

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

This is what I am lookin for even 25 hours.

Poeple are having a go here but I have been on my own for 5 years, father is disapeeared, my parents are in new zealand and brother is in london so it has been all up to me since she were born.

I did refuse the job interview, it was shifts till seven and was in dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Theres not much advise here just do this and do that without knowing all the facts, lots of you sound like my advisor and are very unsimpethetic!!

What did you expect when you got pregnant?- did you expect everyone else to look after and do things for you child? Its your child, so it is no excuse that your parents are not around.

When you are your situation you cant pick and choose what you would like to do. I work full time, but I cant stand my job. BUT....I still have to do it to pay the bills and put a roof over my head.

When your child goes to school, get a part time job in shop or something-anything is better than nothing and teach your child that working hard can give you a better life.

clearingout

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

This is what I am lookin for even 25 hours.

Poeple are having a go here but I have been on my own for 5 years, father is disapeeared, my parents are in new zealand and brother is in london so it has been all up to me since she were born.

I did refuse the job interview, it was shifts till seven and was in dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Theres not much advise here just do this and do that without knowing all the facts, lots of you sound like my advisor and are very unsimpethetic!!

I suspect most people would prefer to avoid dog food packing but at the end of the day, there are people (must be people) who are doing that job and I hope feel good about themselves for going out and earning a living.

I think you will need to discuss your situation with your advisor at the job centre but in doing so, you need to go armed with your facts and understand what your bottom line is. Get yourself information from your child's school about breakfast clubs and after school clubs, including the costs and which days they currently have vacancies (this can change regularly so don't rely on it - ask them regularly to update you if you take a few weeks/months to find a job). Phone your local children's information service and ask them to give you the details of any childminders in your area who will 'deliver' a child to school for you (in other words, let you drop off from as early as 7am) and remember. Phone round these childminders, go and see them, see if any of them have vacancies currently. Get yourself bus timetables, train timetables and tram timetables (if applicable) if you are going to be reliant on public transport to be able to work. Walk from the school to your nearest bus stop for each of your nearest big towns where there is work and note down how long it takes you to get there (you may have to work out the time taken to get to a number of bus stops to get to different places). Use the internet to help you with distances from bus stops to potential employers when you find suitable jobs. Have all this info to hand when you next go to the job centre - you will then be able to tell them exactly what work you can/can't do and why.

For example, let's imagine the following:

You're offered a job at a local factory which is 10 miles away from your daughter's school. You know that your daughter's school can take her for breakfast club at 8am on only 2 days a week and after school for all 5 days. There are no childminders who currently have vacancies who will drop at school for you. You know what this will cost you. You know that it will take you 10 minutes after dropping off to walk to the bus stop - you drop at 9am, the next bus is 9:30am and will take 40 minutes to arrive near to the factory and you know it will take you another 10 minutes to walk to the factory. The earliest you are able to get to the job is therefore, realistically, 10:30am. If the shift work is set from 8am - 2pm, you therefore clearly can't do the job as a single mum. You are showing your advisor that you have tried to make this work with all the info I have mentioned but that it simply doesn't fit. This is far better than telling them that you can't do the job 'cos it starts/ends at the wrong times and you can't stand the job anyway.

Unfortunately as a single parent you don't have the luxury of choice - you have to work and you have to find a way to make it fit. It isn't easy, and a lot of the time you will have to ignore great jobs because you simply can't get them to fit in with your childcare commitments. This limits your options - you may well find that you need to get some training or a better education to be able to do the jobs that you do want to do at a time that you are able to work (not when you want to work). It's not fair - I understand that and I understand that it isn't as easy as many who use this forum would believe it to be. But you will need to find a way.

You are young - there is far more to life than having babies by multiple men who couldn't care less about you or the children they father. You can make something of your life if you try but you have to change your attitude and mindset to be able to do that.

Dunroamin

Irn-Bru-Kid wrote: »

It is pretty rank though isn't it? Dog food packing

Putting tins in cardboard boxes - ghastly!

thorsoak

MissPiggy50 wrote: »

This is what I am lookin for even 25 hours.

Poeple are having a go here but I have been on my own for 5 years, father is disapeeared, my parents are in new zealand and brother is in london so it has been all up to me since she were born.

I did refuse the job interview, it was shifts till seven and was in dog food packing which I hate adn cant stand.

Theres not much advise here just do this and do that without knowing all the facts, lots of you sound like my advisor and are very unsimpethetic!!

Unfortunately, you aren't qualified to do much else are you? There isn't a fantastic job out there, with your name on it - you either have to suck up whatever job there is available, or you do what you should have been doing in the last five years - and get yourself some qualifications/education in order that you can better the life of your daughter and yourself.

Or do you see yourself, in 10 years time, with another couple of children, plus another on the way - and no partner - still living off the state and with the migraines and diabetes getting worse??

Because that's what your choice is!