delicate subject - abortion

clearing_out_my_pockets

newcook wrote: »

I didnt know at the time of posting that the clinics chose which one you have.

I think that depends on the clinic. Some let you choose

rachbc

Gavin83 wrote: »

Thats an extremely personal question to ask, even by the standards of this forum. I don't quite know what your hoping to achieve from this either, if she doesn't want the baby she doesn't have much choice, listening to peoples opinions won't make much difference. If your hoping for "It's not that bad, it'll be ok" type of responses to reassure her I think you'll be very disappointed.

I agree its a very personal question...but I had a surgical and it was absolutely fine. No physcial or emotional issues after.

However as I haven't had a medical termination I can't comment on which is easier/ better or how they differ

mishkanorman

heretolearn wrote: »

It's not really your decision. It's the clinics/doctors who usually decide which is most appropriate for each individual. Even if they do give you the choice, there's no point trying to decide here and now from internet information, get the real deal from them and then decide. Worrying about which precise method is jumping the gun a bit, go and see the doctor first to a)get the pregnancy confirmed and b) the exact stage she is at, as that makes a difference to the method. Generally the pills are only appropriate for very early stages up to 8 or 9 weeks, and the suction is used up to 16 weeks.

If she is going NHS it also depends on how quickly she gets the appointments, usually it is fast but I have heard of people getting there too late to use the pills. If her dates are out, maybe she's 5 weeks or more, how does she know?

Actually it was the opposite for me, I was 15 weeks and was given a medical rather than surgical termination.

OP, there are many different factors that will decide what method and when, even down to the area you are in.

best thing you can do right now is talk, talk and talk some more.

its a very easy thing to say but quite difficult to go through, just make sure she has plenty of support.

newcook

Gavin83 wrote: »

Thats an extremely personal question to ask, even by the standards of this forum. I don't quite know what your hoping to achieve from this either, if she doesn't want the baby she doesn't have much choice, listening to peoples opinions won't make much difference. If your hoping for "It's not that bad, it'll be ok" type of responses to reassure her I think you'll be very disappointed.

I completely appreciate that everyone is different - for some it hurts, for others it doesnt, etc.

as for what I was hoping to achieve - well, Im not too sure to be honest. unfortunately she has sworn me to secrecy and this is the only place I can ask people.

Fire_Fox

Sorry but I think this is asking for medical advice because you are discussing different procedures before you have had had the consultation with the relevant healthcare professional, not simply asking for moral support or moneysaving.

mishkanorman

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Sorry but I think this is asking for medical advice because you are discussing different procedures before you have had had the consultation with the relevant healthcare professional, not simply asking for moral support or moneysaving.

having been in a similar situation I think the Op wants the impact of each proceedure and what that will mean for the support the OP will need to provide rather than the medical difference ??

its not something people like to freely chat about in real life, and the medical profession take everything from a clinical view point.

newcook

mishkanorman wrote: »

having been in a similar situation I think the Op wants the impact of each proceedure and what that will mean for the support the OP will need to provide rather than the medical difference ??

its not something people like to freely chat about in real life, and the medical profession take everything from a clinical view point.

thank you mishkanorman - you have hit the nail on the head!

taxi36

newcook wrote: »

she has already been referred to a clinic - I will be going with her next week

I understand that you are only trying to help but do you not think you would be best telling her Daddy? Or even trying to encourage her to tell him herself? Ok she is 18 but I still think she needs to tell him before she does this.

heartbreak_star

I had the pills a while ago and it was very much like having a horrendously heavy period, including the associated hormones. I took painkillers for the cramps, curled up in a duvet with a good uplifting book for the sadness, and beat the hell out of a computer game for the anger.

As zaxdog said, it's really a vague memory now, and physically having the coil put in was more painful!

Good luck to her, and you're a great person for her to have around.

HBS x

Fire_Fox

mishkanorman wrote: »

having been in a similar situation I think the Op wants the impact of each proceedure and what that will mean for the support the OP will need to provide rather than the medical difference ??

its not something people like to freely chat about in real life, and the medical profession take everything from a clinical view point.

Then IMO Newcook should consider amending the OP. She didn't ask about providing support, she stated "neither of us are sure what would be more suitable for her ... What procedure did you decide on and why?" We should not be helping with the decision between procedure A and B when the young woman has not had any professional advice.