Would you pay to go to a wedding?

glitter03

CH27 wrote: »

That's really funny

Haha i know, they are all getting very irate over there!

koalamummy

It would be very amusing in a sick sort of way to actually receive one of the discussed invites as you would know just how much effort they put into wording their invites and exactly how you are expected to react though.

totallybored

glitter03 wrote: »

Just seen this, made me chuckle


http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/home-life-8/brides-weddings-503/892980-help-asing-money-wedding-related.html

It's almost worth registering there to wind up Little Miss Bridezilla! Her reasoning to demand cash is that most guests are old and can't get to the shops. Money grabbing bint, I give the marriage a couple of years.

Idiophreak

totallybored wrote: »

They also asked for cash towards a honeymoon despite them both earning loads.

I don't really see what their wage has to do with it? Should you only give wedding gifts to people who earn less than you?

My wife and I have a higher combined wage than 90% of the people who attended our wedding (although we're far from rich) - but the money we received towards our honeymoon was so greatly appreciated. Meant we could afford to do stuff on honeymoon that we'd not have been able to do otherwise - and that we'll never forget.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

To be honest I've never been to a wedding like that as regards food and would have expected it to be mentioned that there was no evening buffet as that is the norm. It was possibly a little later than usual for the wedding meal but not hugely.

Meh, I've been to quite a few weddings now and the timings vary a fair bit between them...Personally, I'm always pleased to receive a plan of the day with the invite, so I know whether to have lunch before I go or not. As much as I like being well fed anyway, I've gone to several weddings where it's ended up with everyone only talking about when they were going to be fed...which I'm sure wasn't exactly what the B&G were after - and could have been avoided with a little forewarning.


FWIW, by the way - we just included a link to our website on the invite, then had tabs for info on the order of the day, gift plans and so on on there. I take the view that if someone clicks on the button that says "gifts", that's as good as them asking "what would you like for a gift?"...
(and I *did* emphasise that we wanted people's company, not gifts...but as many have said on this thread...a lot of people *want* to give gifts...)

duchy

The thing the Mumsnet girls are missing is that if people are offended they in most cases won't say anything and will either decline or just ignore the poem and buy a gift anyway.......... Must admit I wouldn't (and didn't) put a gift list in with invitations let alone have a begging poem as a part of the invitation. I don't even think it's a generational thing ...... I just think a lot of people consider it bad manners and as most weddings are about "up market" and showing the B&G at their best -why spoil it with something so crass -when most people will give money or vouchers anyway.

Personally I never give money in any form anymore after seeing the bride and mother of the bride going through and commenting on the generosity or lack of from each contributor on a holiday wedding list that was held at the travel agency I was working in (in the middle of the shop in the hearing of other customers too)

CH27

duchy wrote: »

The thing the Mumsnet girls are missing is that if people are offended they in most cases won't say anything and will either decline or just ignore the poem and buy a gift anyway.......... Must admit I wouldn't (and didn't) put a gift list in with invitations let alone have a begging poem as a part of the invitation. I don't even think it's a generational thing ...... I just think a lot of people consider it bad manners and as most weddings are about "up market" and showing the B&G at their best -why spoil it with something so crass -when most people will give money or vouchers anyway.

Personally I never give money in any form anymore after seeing the bride and mother of the bride going through and commenting on the generosity or lack of from each contributor on a holiday wedding list that was held at the travel agency I was working in (in the middle of the shop in the hearing of other customers too)

Cheeky madams.

I must admit I always feel obliged to give more in cash or vouchers than I would spend on a gift.

totallybored

Idiophreak wrote: »

I don't really see what their wage has to do with it? Should you only give wedding gifts to people who earn less than you?

My wife and I have a higher combined wage than 90% of the people who attended our wedding (although we're far from rich) - but the money we received towards our honeymoon was so greatly appreciated. Meant we could afford to do stuff on honeymoon that we'd not have been able to do otherwise - and that we'll never forget.

It's not just a gift though, it's a demand for others to contribute towards a luxury holiday. And when the couple in question earn well into 6 figures and have already travelled extensively it just comes across as money grabbing. Still, as long as they enjoyed their holiday that's all that matters.

I've given foreign currency to couples as a present to spend on honeymoons before and not had a problem. The difference being they didn't expect or demand it.

Idiophreak

totallybored wrote: »

It's not just a gift though, it's a demand for others to contribute towards a luxury holiday. And when the couple in question earn well into 6 figures and have already travelled extensively it just comes across as money grabbing. Still, as long as they enjoyed their holiday that's all that matters.

I've given foreign currency to couples as a present to spend on honeymoons before and not had a problem. The difference being they didn't expect or demand it.

You said they "asked" for cash toward the honeymoon...Now you're saying they "demanded" it...I don't really see what your issue is.
1) That they wanted cash
2) How they asked for it
3) That they earn "loads"

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

Meh, I've been to quite a few weddings now and the timings vary a fair bit between them...Personally, I'm always pleased to receive a plan of the day with the invite, so I know whether to have lunch before I go or not. As much as I like being well fed anyway, I've gone to several weddings where it's ended up with everyone only talking about when they were going to be fed...which I'm sure wasn't exactly what the B&G were after - and could have been avoided with a little forewarning.


FWIW, by the way - we just included a link to our website on the invite, then had tabs for info on the order of the day, gift plans and so on on there. I take the view that if someone clicks on the button that says "gifts", that's as good as them asking "what would you like for a gift?"...
(and I *did* emphasise that we wanted people's company, not gifts...but as many have said on this thread...a lot of people *want* to give gifts...)

Any wedding I've been to has had the ceremony then the photos and then the meal. In the evening about 10pm there is some kind of buffet. I would always have lunch if a wedding were mid-afternoon.

Genuine question, why do people need a web-site?

LaurenC

If I was in this situation, I would have had an extremely low key wedding that I could afford and then invite friends and family out for a meal at a restaurant at a later date to celebrate, making it clear that they had to pay for themselves. You could probably get a similar quality meal for much less, wedding food is a total rip off!