Would you pay to go to a wedding?

74jax

purpleweasel wrote: »

It took ages to decide on suitable wording which indicated as much as possible that we neither wanted nor expected anything but if people really wanted to give us a gift we were saving towards a....!

We just wrote on the website that we had been asked by so people what to buy us and we don't want anything so save your cash and use it on yourselves.

We STILL then had people say, if we didn't say what we wanted they would give us cash.

So we said that's lovely of you, and what we were thinking of doing was making a donation to RNLI as it's a charity we donate to monthly, is close to us as my brother and FIL were in the navy and H2B kitesurfs and so recognises the importance of the RNLI.

Some people weren't even happy with that...............

74jax

Gloomendoom wrote: »

On our wedding invitations we made it clear that gifts were entirely optional as we didn't .

In the invite? before they'd even said if they were coming or not?

thorsoak

.....sighs nostalgically .....in the 1960s, it was a common occurrence to put a notice in the paper, giving the date and place of the wedding stating "all friends welcome at the church" - and only close family and friends were invited to the "wedding breakfast" - by printed invitation
"Mr & Mrs X request the pleasure of the attendance of ................ at the wedding of their daughter xxxx and xxxxx on ..... at St.......Church and later at XXX Hotel for a Reception. The Bride & Groom will leave for their honeymoon at 5.p.m"

This let everyone know that the festitivies were finished by teatime - we were seen off at the hotel ....complete with kipper up the exhaust pipe, "just married" smeared all over the back and tin cans trailing behind....... close family (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents etc) on both sides entertained by my family/OH's family separately) after we'd gone -and friends getting together to do their own thing!

Oh yes - we did have a wedding present list - if anyone asked - it consisted of our "wish list" - kitchen/lounge/bathroom/bedroom colours - and essentials - teatowels, wooden spoons, mixing bowls, sheets & pillowslips, towels, vases, mantelpiece clock(?!) cushions (green and orange please(!!) crockery (Woolworths - black & white contemporary).

Life was so much more simple then.....sigh!

Gloomendoom

74jax wrote: »

In the invite? before they'd even said if they were coming or not?

I'm not going through all this again!

As an aside, since when has actually attending a wedding made any difference as to whether, or not, a gift is given?

CH27

glitter03 wrote: »

Just seen this, made me chuckle


http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/home-life-8/brides-weddings-503/892980-help-asing-money-wedding-related.html

That's really funny

74jax

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I'm not going through all this again!

As an aside, since when has actually attending a wedding made any difference as to whether, or not, a gift is given?

It doesn't, but if you've been given a gift list with the invite then I think the bride and groom are saying 'this is our gift lift, give us a present of it'.

Which is fine, if said bride and groom have been ASKED for the gift list.

Differences of opinions, neither is wholely right, just right for each bride & groom.

Gloomendoom

74jax wrote: »

It doesn't, but if you've been given a gift list with the invite then I think the bride and groom are saying 'this is our gift lift, give us a present of it'.

We didn't give a gift list. We didn't make a gift list. We didn't want a gift list. No gift list existed.

74jax

Gloomendoom wrote: »

We didn't give a gift list. We didn't make a gift list. We didn't want a gift list. No gift list existed.

Didnt say you did?

sharpee

We had a john Lewis gift list with lots of lower valve items at my MIL insistence so her side of the family could buy us presents. Then none of them night is anything! We didn't expect them to and only created a gift list at the MIL insistence which then turned out to be a waste of time.

We made sure none of our guests had to pay for anything or went hungry. We paid for them a.l to stay over and as I was so concerned about people going hungry they all ended up completely stuffed!

thorsoak

sharpee wrote: »

We had a john Lewis gift list with lots of lower valve items at my MIL insistence so her side of the family could buy us presents. Then none of them night is anything! We didn't expect them to and only created a gift list at the MIL insistence which then turned out to be a waste of time.

We made sure none of our guests had to pay for anything or went hungry. We paid for them a.l to stay over and as I was so concerned about people going hungry they all ended up completely stuffed!

"Her side of the family" happens to be half of your husband's family ....please remember that!