Would you pay to go to a wedding?

skivenov

My mate got married a couple of years back. They'd been living together long enough to have two kids, so they'd got everything they could need. So they put on the invite "Don't bring a present, just pay for your meal".

To me, it seems a good, honest, way of doing it.

Person_one

skivenov wrote: »

My mate got married a couple of years back. They'd been living together long enough to have two kids, so they'd got everything they could need. So they put on the invite "Don't bring a present, just pay for your meal".

To me, it seems a good, honest, way of doing it.

Except they shouldn't even assume you'll be getting them a present, much less dictating the amount!

On what other occasion is it ok for adults to demand presents? They aren't 5 year olds doing their Christmas list!

Idiophreak

Person_one wrote: »

Except they shouldn't even assume you'll be getting them a present, much less dictating the amount!

On what other occasion is it ok for adults to demand presents? They aren't 5 year olds doing their Christmas list!

You *demanded* presents as a child? :eek:

Person_one

Idiophreak wrote: »

You *demanded* presents as a child? :eek:

Only from Father Christmas, there was a precedent!

Mojisola

skivenov wrote: »

My mate got married a couple of years back. They'd been living together long enough to have two kids, so they'd got everything they could need. So they put on the invite "Don't bring a present, just pay for your meal".

Person_one wrote: »

Except they shouldn't even assume you'll be getting them a present, much less dictating the amount!

It's actually quite hard to stop some people buying presents if they're invited to a wedding - if you don't say anything, people phone up to ask what you want - so I think it's quite reasonable to say "don't bring a present".

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

It's actually quite hard to stop some people buying presents if they're invited to a wedding - if you don't say anything, people phone up to ask what you want - so I think it's quite reasonable to say "don't bring a present".

Not really, if somebody wants to give you a present its actually not very nice to tell them you don't want it.

Don't ask for presents, accept the ones you're given graciously. I feel like I'm missing something, its not that complicated!

Idiophreak

Person_one wrote: »

Only from Father Christmas, there was a precedent!

Hmm...I'm fairly sure demanding presents at any time of the year would have landed me on the naughty list....

Person_one

Idiophreak wrote: »

Hmm...I'm fairly sure demanding presents at any time of the year would have landed me on the naughty list....

Oh come on, you knew what point I was making. If its unacceptable for children though, it should be even less so for adults old enough to get married surely!

Idiophreak

Person_one wrote: »

Not really, if somebody wants to give you a present its actually not very nice to tell them you don't want it.

Don't ask for presents, accept the ones you're given graciously. I feel like I'm missing something, its not that complicated!

Meh...I don't like waste. The idea of people buying me a bunch of toasters, nude figurines, crystal salt cellars and Lilliputia Lane cottages was quite horrifying. They spend their money, you have junk to either a) stick in the attic for the rest of your life b) just throw away.

Personally, I liked the people that came to my wedding...so really just didn't want them wasting money...

suki1001

Person_one wrote: »

Not really, if somebody wants to give you a present its actually not very nice to tell them you don't want it.

Don't ask for presents, accept the ones you're given graciously. I feel like I'm missing something, its not that complicated!

Which it's why it's better to say beforehand. The world's car boot sales and school raffles wouldn't have half the things in them if it weren't for unwanted gifts. My son won something in the last school raffle that I'd donated!

While I understand about graciously accepting gifts, I'd rather not have any than have to lie to someone that I thought their present was lovely, because unless it's something you want, or it's to your taste, it's a waste of that person's hard earned cash.

A lady i once knew gave me a boxed plate stand that she'd got as a wedding present. She'd had it for 25 years and never used it because she hated it - it would have been quite expensive back then too. She'd hoarded it, because she felt too guilty to give it away because it was a wedding present. All that expense and all that guilt. I'm afraid I'm not a big fan of presents - you've got to really know the person to get it right.

However, I do think asking for them to pay for the meal is a bit cheeky too.