Wedding Tips start here...

Shanna_2

Becles wrote:

I had the big OTT white wedding the first time around. There were a lot of people there, but I felt I never really spoke to anyone all day! I wanted to speak personally to each individual guest to thank them for coming, but that's all I had time to say to each one.

I'm marrying again soon, and it's going to be small with just close family and friends. I'm looking forward to that, as I feel I'll be able to relax and chat more, and generally enjoy it.

Just one way of looking at it, that you might not have thought of!

Thanks for that Becles, I feel such pressure to invite all the family up to cousins and their children as my sister went the very close family route and didn't invite any of them. This is my mothers last chance for a biggish do!

Shanna_2

Rachie_B wrote:

shanna IMO you should go for the easy option,getting married is stressful enough as it is without having to worry about catering ,tidying up etc you want to enjoy yourself


how easy do you think it wil be to strike people off the guest list?

It will be a bit tricky, I have 8 aunts and uncles who all have at least 2 children who then have their own children. I could just invite the Aunts and Uncles but no cousins, however, apart from friends, it might make for an 'Older' gathering who may not appreciate a disco !!

I can't really invite some cousins and not others. I don't want to cut back on friends at all so its the family who will have to get the chop!

Thanks for your input - it would be good to have a 'chill out' room and no worries about clearing up.

Weggy

Shanna wrote:

I can't really invite some cousins and not others. I don't want to cut back on friends at all so its the family who will have to get the chop!

I'm having the same feelings. Friends are always around, and we share the most time with them. Some cousins, I havent seen for years. Why should I pay £50 for them to come and share out special day, in place of a friend?!

Miss_Cinnabon

Weggy wrote:

I'm having the same feelings. Friends are always around, and we share the most time with them. Some cousins, I havent seen for years. Why should I pay £50 for them to come and share out special day, in place of a friend?!

We were planning on getting married local to us and inviting 30 people but it got to the stage where we were told by my boyfriends family that if you took one you have to take them all, they didn't seem to get it that we were having a quiet wedding so in the end decided wasn't worth the hassle and now getting wed in gretna with just us and the kids:p

Rachie_B

Weggy wrote:

I'm having the same feelings. Friends are always around, and we share the most time with them. Some cousins, I havent seen for years. Why should I pay £50 for them to come and share out special day, in place of a friend?!

exactly esp 3rd 4th 5th cousins twice removed etc :rolleyes: :rotfl: or their partners who you have never met etc

IMO only invite the people you REALLY want here not just those who " you think you ought to invite" its your wedding and people should respect that

not that they do though :rolleyes: families who'd have em

Rachie_B

Shanna wrote:

Thanks for that Becles, I feel such pressure to invite all the family up to cousins and their children as my sister went the very close family route and didn't invite any of them. This is my mothers last chance for a biggish do!

but its your wedding

is your mum paying for it all ?

Becles

Shanna wrote:

This is my mothers last chance for a biggish do!

Word of warning - don't go down that path! Turn back now and change direction before it's too late!

My first wedding was basically my Mam's wedding. I wasn't allowed any friends at the sit down reception meal - they were only allowed to come to the disco on the night time. Various distant relatives came to the wedding, and to be honest I didn't know who some of them were which was embarrassing.

I didn't like my dress (think Emily from Little Britain!), I absolutely hated my veil (didn't want one, but Mam said I had to!), and wasn't keen on the flowers as Mam insisted on making everything from silk flowers. She baked the cake and got a distant aunt to decorate it. Instead of the Royal Icing I wanted, the aunt decorated it with roll out fondant. On the wedding day, the fondant wasn't strong enough to hold the tiers up. The cake had to be laid on a table, then put up quickly for photo's, otherwise it would have just fallen over. The cake itself was really dry, and crumbled when cut, so people got a pile of crumbs instead of a slice!

I was only 18 years old then, so was too shy to stand up to Mam and say it wasn't what I wanted, and just went with the flow, letting her plan it all.

I'm getting married again shortly, and this time I'm doing it how we want it. It's going to be small with just close family and friends, and we've planned everything ourselves. I'm really looking forward to the day.

Make sure you do what you want to do. It's too special occasion to pander round what Mam's think you should do, and you might live to regret it like I did.

Rachie_B

:eek: OMG becles thats awful : (

hope you have a fab day this time round :beer:

welshnoonoo

I actually cancelled my wedding the first time round because it was turning into my mum's wedding rather than mine! We did get married a few months later - My Way!

Shanna_2

Rachie_B wrote:

but its your wedding

is your mum paying for it all ?

Hi Rachie, no she's not paying for everything, but she is helping me out alot, she is buying the cake and my dress plus the food for the reception. I think she is helping out with the flowers too.

I am paying for the venue, invitations, drink, favours, decorations etc.

I am not having a big white one - which is what she would like ideally, but I feel I should do a few things she'd like as I couldn't have as good a day without her help.