How much would you spend/did you spend on your wedding?

jtr2803

I almost posted earlier but stopped myself but I am in one of those moods so I'll take the bait...

Let's be honest, £50k on a wedding? You would have to be earning some SERIOUS money for that to be pocket change to spend on just one day of your entire lives. In fact, that's not even the point, the OP said that the grooms family footed most of it so the couple weren't even splashing their own cash. For the record, I wouldn't care how much money my mum had in the bank, I would absolutely not let her fund my wedding, let alone one costing some of the figures mentioned on this thread so far.

Unfortunately, in real life, I don't know a single person who has had a wedding that they could easily afford, they have either got into debt with it or had to scrimp and save every single penny for months, even years to afford their wedding. I just cannot get my head around that, I honestly cannot. My day to day life with my OH is more important than the 'show' we put on for our guests, it seems to be treated as a competition so much these days, especially amongst groups of friends getting married around the same time...ooh can have the most pointless stuff at their wedding?

To me, it doesn't matter whether we spent £10k or £1k on our wedding, we end up married, the same as everyone else.

For the record, ours is probably about £4k for two separate days of celebrations. Our honeymoon was already booked as a holiday so is not 'wedding expenditure' as such but will end up around the same. In terms of affordability, it will be paid out of my December bonus and is money I never count on getting so it's of no real cost to us, we haven't had to miss out on anything to fund our day.

Idio, look we get it, you have money and you chose to spend a significant amount of it on your wedding day. Because to a large number of us - those sorts of figures are 'ridiculous' that does NOT make us all snobs so please stop referring to us that way, I'm getting a bit fed up of it to be frank. This thread is not the first time you have had a pop at those us of who cannot comprehend spending that on a single day.

daisiegg

We have had this discussion before but I have to agree that I agree with Idiophreak that there *can be * some 'inverse snobs' on this board, who look down on anyone that doesn't do everything on a shoe string.

To answer the question personally, our wedding is costing around 20k (excluding honeymoon), maybe a bit more. About a quarter of that is a contribution from my parents and the rest we are paying. I know some of you may think that is ridiculous, but you really need to know circumstances first... We probably wouldn't spend 50k on a wedding, but don't judge those that do.... My main thought really would be that weddings should be affordable and you shouldn't get into unmanageable debt for a wedding. So if you can comfortably afford 50k, why not spend it?

For the record...we are not getting into any debt at all for our wedding. We have a nice house (that is big enough that we would only need to move if we had 5 kids, which we don't intend to do!) with a mortgage that stretches but does not cripple us. We can afford 2+ foreign holidays a year (yes, on top of the honeymoon). We have a decent (but not extravagant) car. We have no debts beyond the mortgage and student loans. We can afford for me to work part time right now and if I fell pregnant the second we were married, we could afford for me to give up work completely 9 months later. It would be pretty difficult for us to get the same sort of wedding in our area for much less. The only sacrifice we are making to pay for our wedding is postponing getting a new kitchen and a second car. We will still get these things - but just a year or two later. I know we are very lucky (though it's not all about luck!) and I'm not trying to brag. I just want people to understand that the amounts people are horrified at and think are ridiculous....maybe aren't necessarily so ridiculous for everyone.

Why is it ridiculous to have a wedding you can afford, aren't getting into debt for and aren't making huge sacrifices for? No matter whether that amount is 1k or 50k? Personally I wouldn't judge anyone on how much or little they chose to spend on their wedding. I may ....not judge, but have my own thoughts on the matter if someone was getting into crazy debt for their wedding, on the other hand...

daisiegg

Just thought I'd add...I have a friend who, though she and her partner are personally on small incomes, both have ridiculously rich fathers and if (when, hopefully!) they get married, their wedding will cost upwards of £150k. What's more, this will be small change to their fathers.

Do I think this is slightly crazy? Yes, and I can't wait to see how they spend the money! But I don't think it's 'ridiculous' and I don't judge them... Again, everyone's circumstances are different.

chunkychocky

I didn't keep track at the time, but from memory:

£350 dress at bargain price
£200 suit in the sale
£800 both rings
£350 venue
£100 service
£100 flowers
£35 x 20 = £700 food
Wine donated by in-laws
Music on iPod
Car our own

So, to say that I am shocked that we spent around £2600 for only 20 of us is an understatement. I think I had always ignored the cost of the rings as they are jewellery and not part of the cost of the wedding in my head, plus hubby has worn his suit again for funerals, christenings etc. We organised our wedding in 6 weeks. We had the perfect setting (Bath Guildhall for anyone who knows Bath you will know this is gorgeous) and the perfect caterers (from our favourite restaurant and they used as a test to see if external catering worked for them - it did) and only family which is exactly what we wanted.

We then spent just over £100 on flights for Rome; this was back in 2005 when you really could get flights for £1 plus taxes. Hotel for 5 nights was £250. Can't remember how much we spent while we were there but it was an idyllic honeymoon for us.

DKLS

4k wedding, 12k honeymoon.

Idiophreak

jtr2803 wrote: »

Idio, look we get it, you have money and you chose to spend a significant amount of it on your wedding day. Because to a large number of us - those sorts of figures are 'ridiculous' that does NOT make us all snobs so please stop referring to us that way, I'm getting a bit fed up of it to be frank. This thread is not the first time you have had a pop at those us of who cannot comprehend spending that on a single day.

I've no problem with people not comprehending it, I've a problem with people putting others down for doing it.

If you consider my comments about snobbery to apply to you, why not just stop judging people and let people spend their money on what's important to them in peace?

cats2012

Our will be about £14k including an amazing honeymoon (£3-4k of the budget) and buying a fancy suit for the groom. My parents are paying about 1/3.

I've only been working 3 years after Uni but we've saved carefully and bought a house already and as we don't see our family very often we wanted a properly special day with them all there. Neither of us have ever been flashy, no fancy 18ths/21st or anything, so I thought if I'm going to do it once I'll do it for our wedding literally can't wait!!

jtr2803

Idiophreak wrote: »

I've no problem with people not comprehending it, I've a problem with people putting others down for doing it.

If you consider my comments about snobbery to apply to you, why not just stop judging people and let people spend their money on what's important to them in peace?

I'm amused. Where in my post did I judge anyone? And where have I put any one down for doing it? In fact, no one has made any personal comments nor have they been nasty, they have merely stated that spending that sort of money is 'ridiculous' and to a lot of us, it is. That's what I was explaining in my post. I have never judged anyone for spending that kind of money on their celebration, I cannot understand why you would and that's regardless of how much you earn.

It's been swaid before that this forum, and in fact, this site, is not just about money saving but also about getting value for money and that is very true but I do keep in mind that many of the ladies who frequent this forum do so because they are looking for ways to minimise their spend and for inspiration on a budget wedding, I expect there will be quite a few who don't earn £25k, is it any wonder they struggle to understand someone spending that on a wedding?

And as for your last comment, I have as much right to post on this forum as any other member and if I take offence to being branded an inverse snob then I shall damn well say so. Nothing could be further from the truth. I won't debate this point with you any more, it's pointless, you seem to take every comment about big budget weddings personally then start throwing out the insults.

Idiophreak

jtr2803 wrote: »

if I take offence to being branded an inverse snob then I shall damn well say so.

Quite...But you're the only one who's branded yourself that way?

Where did I refer to you, at all, in this thread as being an inverse snob?

It's you that's decided your behaviour matches those of people I was complaining about, not me.

Hence, why I said "If you consider my comments about snobbery to apply to you..." - because I didn't say any of my comments were directed at you - you did.

joannaspanner

I have found with people I know, that the more they spend on the wedding, the least amount of time the marriage lasts.

My ex-friend has never had a penny to her name, they still live with her mum, but she HAD to have the horse drawn carriage, she HAD to have the poufy dress, so now they are in even more deeper debt.

I didn't have a cheap wedding cos I'm cheap, just that I've never been interested in the whole wedding thing.

Each to their own, but like my ex friend, I find it ludicrous when you spend money you don't have, just so you can be a PWINCESS for the day.