Funeral clothes for a toddler.

meritaten

bylromarha is right - children do seem to have a sense of the occasion and behave appropriately - and if they cry? well, they won't be the only ones will they? just do as you and the family feel is right. the others don't matter.

Spirit_2

It is thoughtful of you to consider it.

At my nephews funeral his infant son was dressed as far as I can recall in normal toddler clothes.

No one who matters will remember what a little one is wearing (unless it is fairy wings) they will have other less shallow things on their minds.

freyasmum

When my granny's body was taken to the chapel, my daughter, then five, wore a beautiful bright yellow, silken dress. My granny's favourite colour was yellow so it was nice.

The next day she wore a white dress with a few netting underskirts, navy polkadots and a big navy bow, her little navy woolen coat and a yellow ribbon in her hair.

I completely appreciate that girls are different to boys, but having a child in a suit is beyond ridiculous, IMO; ignore the naysayers and go with your OH and his mother on this one.

chirpchirp

At my Dad's funeral my son was aged 8. Each year my Dad used to buy him a football shirt and I'd buy the badges. For the funeral I bought my son the full kit and had the name of a player that my Dad had tried to talk my son into having in previous years. My Dad would have thought that it was a waste of money for me to spend money on a suit that he wouldn't wear again.

My family are quite Conservative about wearing black for funerals so i made sure that I made reference in the Eulogy to Dad's annual trip to the football shop with his Grandson and how Dad would have been pleased to see his Grandson wearing the full kit and carrying on his family tradition of supporting his team.

It's up to you to decide how to dress your son. He's 20 months old is he really going to be comfortable in a suit? Do you feel happy putting him a suit? Would his Grandfather have expected him to be in a suit? Dress him in what you want to dress him in and remember that they are unlikely to be brave enough to say something to your face about what he is wearing and whilst their talking about you, they're leaving someone else alone!

skintchick

By the time my DD was aged one she had been to one wedding and three funerals and I couldn't tell you what she wore to any of them. Small children's attire is irrelevant on such occasions IMO.

Just put him in whatever you feel like on the day. Or whatever hee feels like, as at 20 months my DD had very strong opinions about wwhat she wanted to wear so I let her choose her own outfits (and still do).

Mind you, I absolutely hate those suit things for babies and toddlers, I actually dont even like children (up to about age 13) in them as I think they look ridiculous. Suits are for adults, children need to be in comfortable clothes.

Anyway, just do what you feel happy with and ignore everyone else. As someone has already said, if they are tutting about what a toddler is wearing they are focussing on the wrong thing. I imagine on the day it actually won;t bother them, it is just something to focus on right now.

graspandsave

its already been said:

Its your son you choose what he wears, tutters don't matter, don't worry about it - you'll have enough things to be worrying about than them .
Its your son's grandad, why shouldnt he be there?

When my MIL passed away, our DD was 2, the only person who's opinion on whether she would attend or not that mattered was DH.
She wore a smart dress and again as been said already, its slightly easier to dress girls than boys.
Sorry for your loss and hope it goes as well as funerals can go.

maman

sulkisu wrote: »

Thank you for your replies. The jeans are not the problem, it's the fact that it isn't a suit. His grandfather (bless him) was probably one of the most irreverent people I met and would no doubt be telling me to dress him in his Arsenal strip and really give them something to tut about .
OH and his mother think the jeans are fine, and I guess that's what matters.

As for the 'funerals are no place for a 20 month old baby' brigade. I didn't ask for opinions on whether I should take him. However

A) it was his grandfathers wish
it is his grandmother's wish
C) he will only attend the church service (not the burial or graveside) and I will take him outside if/when he gets restless
D) the service is no longer than the Sunday church service that we attend every week - and he's fine there
E) Children and babies of all ages will be there
F) as his mother, do you really think that the question of whether it was appropriate for him to attend a funeral or not had not crossed my mind?

Personally, I am one of the 'funerals are no place for children' brigade but as you said that's not what you asked. I'm sorry for your loss and you and your family have to deal with it in your own way. I'd just dress your toddler in his smartest clothes. If his smartest clothes are his jeans then so be it. As you said earlier your partner and his mother find this acceptable so just ignore the others.

merlin68

Why is it not a childs place to be at a funeral. Honestly. My family always takes childre to funerals and people enjoying seeing them, it's the only time we get a family get together.
What happened years ago when the body was in the front room.
children go to church whats the difference.

SevenOfNine

merlin68 wrote: »

Why is it not a childs place to be at a funeral. Honestly. My family always takes childre to funerals and people enjoying seeing them, it's the only time we get a family get together.
What happened years ago when the body was in the front room.
children go to church whats the difference.

The difference is that it's not necessarily your decision to take/leave children. My mother was NoK to my Aunt, so organised and paid for her funeral - she did not want children there.

My Aunt probably wouldn't have been bothered either way, but then she'd died so my Mum's wishes were more important than hers, (and any of the mourners - unless they were offering to undertake all the hard work and costs involved).

Personally, I semi-agreed with her decision and as it happened the 3 great-nephews/niece who could have chosen to bring their 5 young offspring didn't want to.

But, OP didn't ask that question so she's right to feel miffed at any of us airing our views in that respect. I'm just puzzled by the initial clothing question..........she has the view of OH, his mother and the deceased Grandad, enough surely?

PS Should have added, put him in footie strip, he'll look adorable. Take him outside if he squalks/fidgits too much. Stop 'sharing' with other mourners what you'll be dressing him in - you'll avoid 'tutting' that way. If comments made at funeral just say "it's what his Grandad would have wanted".

Mojisola

SevenOfNine wrote: »

The difference is that it's not necessarily your decision to take/leave children. My mother was NoK to my Aunt, so organised and paid for her funeral - she did not want children there.

If a funeral service is held at a church, I don't think you can choose who can come in. The same applies to weddings.

I don't know about crematoria.

What would have happened if someone had arrived with their children?