Funeral clothes for a toddler.

dizsiebubba

My little cousins (2 & 6) wore beautiful party dresses to our Nans funeral as Nan died in January and she had bought them for the girls at Christmas…but then none of us (immediate family) wore black, we all wore smart in any colour we fancied because she had always disliked black clothes at a funeral!

Other small children wore school uniforms (come straight from school that morning) and even smaller ones just wore smart, clean clothes but not suits!

What would his grandfather have thought appropriate?

I know some people don't think it is appropriate for a young child to attend a funeral but it depends on the circumstances... having the girls at Nans funeral was good for all of us (they lifted spirits) and also good for the girls to realise that Nanny was really gone x

Mayflower10cat

At the two most recent funerals I've attended, each friend said 'bright colours only!' as being their wish for the day. It was hard to do as most of my 'smart' clothes are black or dark coloured. At other funerals, with small children in the congregation, I don't recall any of them wearing a suit or dark clothing. Though I was impressed by how well behaved the children were, and respectful. Don't let the views of others upset you, truly, if they are concerned by what your young son is wearing perhaps they need to pay more attention to the service!

Hiddenidenity

My son was at my dads funeral at a few weeks old and he had black pants and a white long sleeve top and black tank top over. He also went to my partners dads funeral and would have been a similar age to your son, he wore a similar thing again but it had shirt, tie, tank top.

Although my nephew went in a tracksuit. I dont think it matters as long as your comfortable with what hes wearing.

Sorry for your loss x

sulkisu

Thank you for your replies. The jeans are not the problem, it's the fact that it isn't a suit. His grandfather (bless him) was probably one of the most irreverent people I met and would no doubt be telling me to dress him in his Arsenal strip and really give them something to tut about .
OH and his mother think the jeans are fine, and I guess that's what matters.

As for the 'funerals are no place for a 20 month old baby' brigade. I didn't ask for opinions on whether I should take him. However

A) it was his grandfathers wish
it is his grandmother's wish
C) he will only attend the church service (not the burial or graveside) and I will take him outside if/when he gets restless
D) the service is no longer than the Sunday church service that we attend every week - and he's fine there
E) Children and babies of all ages will be there
F) as his mother, do you really think that the question of whether it was appropriate for him to attend a funeral or not had not crossed my mind?

thatgirlsam

McKneff wrote: »

sorry, only my opinion, so I may just get flamed for this but a funeral is really not the place for a 20 month old.

I find this sad - we seem to be really 'hung up' on death in this country! We don't talk about it, don't discuss it, don't tell the children! etc

If I die I really hope people feel free to bring children to my funeral! Death is part of life and I think we should stop shying away from it

Whilst death might be a bit of a scary subject for children, I do wonder how much of this is brought about the adults opinions and reactions to it

Fuzzy_Duck

sulkisu wrote: »

Thank you for your replies. The jeans are not the problem, it's the fact that it isn't a suit. His grandfather (bless him) was probably one of the most irreverent people I met and would no doubt be telling me to dress him in his Arsenal strip and really give them something to tut about .
OH and his mother think the jeans are fine, and I guess that's what matters.

Ignore them, some people are just plain daft. He's going to outgrow his clothes soon and he'd be uncomfortable in a suit- what's the point in buying something expensive if he's not going to get use out of it? As long as he looks clean and respectable he'll be fine. A dark top and dark jeans sound fine to me.

I remember my mum complaining about how she dressed my brothers in a shirt and black trousers for a wedding when they were toddlers. My aunt turned her nose up at this and her son of similar age arrived dressed in a sailor suit!

pollypenny

Toddlers and babies look grotesque in suits. I wouldn't buy anything specially for the funeral - just dress him in something he already has, maybe his least flamboyant.

thorsoak

At 20 months old, unless on checks back to Victorian times, there is no "ettiquette" for what he should be wearing. At my DH's funeral, in January of last year, the grandchildren wore their favourite bright clothes - Gramps would have been horrified at the thought of buying special black clothes for his funeral - especially for the little ones - so baby DGD (8 weeks old) wore a bright pink dress that we had bought for her before she was born, her big sister did wear black ...but then again at 15, black was her favourite colour. DGS 514) wore dark trousers & shirt ....and one of his Gramp's bright ties the other little girls wore party dresses - because we were celebrating his life.

I find it sad that what a baby wears to a much-loved grandparent's funeral causes so much concern to others.

jackyann

Well, you could go with the Arsenal strip and say "it's what he would have wanted"!
seems to me the important people are your son's dad, and his bereaved mum.
Also sounds like the immediate family are close & loving, and although your son will miss his grandad, he is a lucky boy to have people who think this much of him.

Remember: whatever you do, there are always folk who think they could do it better, and enjoy telling you so (just take a look at their families if you want to see how much their opinion counts!)

Fire_Fox

You don't need a suit for a toddler but jeans are too casual for a formal occasion IMO. Anything sombre coloured and smart that is either cheap or you can use again. Having said that if the arsenal strip would have been welcomed by the grandfather go for it.