I have a friend ............

Person_one

darlyd wrote: »

I do hope she tells her mum though, I would be furious if my DD didn't tell me if were about her.

I'm pretty sure this is exactly why so many girls are reluctant to tell their parents. I think somebody else's fury would be the last thing I'd want to face on top of everything I was already going through if it were me.

emweaver

heretolearn wrote: »

I agree that there may be valid reasons beyond the natural reluctance why the girl doesn't feel able to tell her parents. I feel sorry for the aunt, whatever she does, is going to be wrong either in the girl's eyes or the girl's parents.

My advice would be to accompany the girl along to Marie Stopes or similar for their initial consultation and discussions. I believe they will try to encourage the girl to tell parents if at all possible, but respect her right to confidentiality if not.

I mainly wanted to comment on a couple of posts that are quite adamant that an abortion will cause emotional disturbance/issues with mental health.

'even if the girl feels this is the right decision now I guarantee there will be a long term effect on her mental health of which she will need support.'..and there was another post mentioning long term mental health.

these posts simply aren't true. Yes, SOME who have abortions have regrets/guilt/mental health issues afterwards due to the abortions. But most women don't. Most women are fine. There's no way to tell who will and who won't, although it being someone's own decision and not something done due to others' pressure would seem to be a very obvious factor in this, to me.To say you can 'guarantee' someone will have mental health issues because of an abortion is a little bit silly.

Every time abortions are mentioned on here, up pop people who had a bad experience/know someone who had a bad experience, and then want to insist it absolutely has to be doom and gloom for everyone else as well.

I agree not all women will feel regret but she is not a woman she is still a child.

emweaver

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Emweaver, whatever your personal views are, you are incorrect on whether the parents have a legal right to be informed. Ccarpet is correct.

The House of Lords in the Gillick case 30 years ago held that an under-16 year old could be competent to make their own decisions and that their parent did not have a right to make those decisions or be involved in them.

It is a factual test, different for each young person, and the test is as follows:
"...whether or not a child is capable of giving the necessary consent will depend on the child’s maturity and understanding and the nature of the consent required. The child must be capable of making a reasonable assessment of the advantages and disadvantages of the treatment proposed, so the consent, if given, can be properly and fairly described as true consent."

Source: NSPCC



Can I just repeat that this is not a statutory rape case because the girl is 13 years old.

I am not interested or talking about the parents legal rights but what is morally right.

emweaver

ccarpet wrote: »

A "Child" who has engaged in sex and going through puberty, why would you try to patronise this young adult who has done the right thing by telling a trusted Adult?

It's almost if you think teenagers are completely naive and stupid.

the legal age for consent is 16.

Just because a child has sex it does not make her a woman.

Errata

Carpet - a girl of that age is only just on the cusp of childhood. Her body is still physically maturing, as is her brain and emotions, and isn't ready to carry a baby.

Person_one

emweaver wrote: »

I am not interested or talking about the parents legal rights but what is morally right.

They don't have a moral right to know either.

Person_one

Errata wrote: »

Carpet - a girl of that age is only just on the cusp of childhood. Her body is still physically maturing, as is her brain and emotions, and isn't ready to carry a baby.

Thirteen year olds have been having sex and babies for a long long time.

No, it isn't ideal or anything like but its still her decision either way, and she is no longer a child.

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

Thirteen year olds have been having sex and babies for a long long time.

No, it isn't ideal or anything like but its still her decision either way, and she is no longer a child.

I agree with most of this but she is still a child.

Person_one

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I agree with most of this but she is still a child.

She was, but growing up is about more than age and she's doing it fast now.

poet123

Legally, and morally ( as in she is still subject to parental care and control) she is still a child. Children make bad judgements due to inexperience, the fact that they have done so does not confer adulthood upon them.