Home educate?

FunWithFlags

jellyhead wrote: »

Come to think of it my eldest has never been a sheep, and he's just finished GCSEs and still has no regard for peer pressure or fashion.

My niece on the other hand, she gets upset and says somebody said her winnie the pooh lunchbox was for babies. She's very sensitive though, but she loved nursery and reception.

My 7 year old has just chosen the ugliest, most ridiculous glasses possible and when I tried to dissuade him and said he might get laughed at he said they make him laugh too, and he will just laugh with the other kids.

I think that is the cutest thing I've heard all day What a clever way to look at things!

pinkclouds

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this point but the OP can pull her child out of school at any time and homeschool instead. Wake up in the morning, decide it was the wrong choice for her child, notify the school and send a letter (recorded delivery) CC'd to whoever appropriate. Particularly when it's a state school i.e. no financial penalty or notice period.

You might also want to consider "continuity" - she can go to the same groups or work with the same private tutors or whatever, regardless of whether she attends school or is homeschooled or whether you choose homeschool one year and school the next year. There are also HE-friendly childminders, in the event that you get divorced and have to work outside the home.

So don't get bogged down by "choosing the wrong school" or "making the wrong education choice". You can change it at any time. (Although, I do concede that it is faster to switch to homeschooling. You will need to go on a waiting list to go/return to state school or private school.) Oh, and I also proffer the suggestion that, if you haven't made contact with your local HE group, then the website you are using is out of date. My local HE network is active on FB, less so on Yahoo and frankly not at all on some defunct website that I can't even recall the URL of.

Racheldevon

It's great you're getting support for your own issues in relation to this, as it does appear that you may unintentionally be projecting your fears onto your daughter.

There's lots of ideas already on here which I won't repeat (& i haven't had the chance to read every single post). I wonder if you've contacted your local sure start children's centre? They also work closely with local childcare settings, and might be able to link you into a local child care referral advisor, used particularly in cases where either parents are anxious about finding an approriate setting, or where the needs are particularly difficult to match to a setting. It's worth enquiring as this is a free service.

System

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Clifford_Pope, if you allow your children to look down sneeringly on other children and their parents, then you have to take responsibility for bringing up children who are ill mannered. It isn't something to be proud of.

I was exaggerating. I didn't mean they were ill-mannered, I meant they are accutely aware of what they see as immaturity in people who have been encourged never to think for themselves.
You can't teach children what to think, only how to think.

mithras

poet123 wrote: »

It entirely depends imo why you are Home Edding, and how.



The poster spoke about people being inadequate, having anxieties, being ill prepared for social interaction such as interviews, letter writing etc. A lot of anxieties are learned, they stem from our home environment, ditto feelings of inadequacy, and families often do not give their kids the tools to grow up. If that is the case then Home Edd would be the worst possible scenario as they would have no escape route or counterbalance.

From a personal standpoint I would have to have explored ever other avenue and have some compelling reasons before I would consider Home Ed given what I have seen in a professional capacity. I do accept some people do have those compelling reasons.

That is not to say it doesn't have a place, but whilst it may be a cure for some of the "ills" in the school system (and when analysed they are often ills in society really, with people, not the system per se) it often throws up entirely different issues at the later stages of education/working life.

Thanks for taking the time to come back with a fuller answer Poet, I appreciate it:). As a parent it is my responsibility - not the state - to give my children the tools they need in life - from handling money to learning to cook good healthy food for themselves and a raft of other things in between so I agree with you on certain skills being an important part of family life not state responsibility.

Naturally I disagree with most of the rest of your post. People may cause societies ills but 'the system' entrenches them.

Also for me it is the other way around. I would say 'That is not to say that school doesn't have a place'. I believe it could have a very beneficial role to play in enhancing young people's lives but not in its current shape and form. For me school age is too young, the hours are too long and the emphasis too much on targets and testing and not on the individual child and that is one of the (many) reasons home ed works for my family:).

poet123

mithras wrote: »

Thanks for taking the time to come back with a fuller answer Poet, I appreciate it:). As a parent it is my responsibility - not the state - to give my children the tools they need in life - from handling money to learning to cook good healthy food for themselves and a raft of other things in between so I agree with you on certain skills being an important part of family life not state responsibility.

Naturally I disagree with most of the rest of your post. People may cause societies ills but 'the system' entrenches them.

Also for me it is the other way around. I would say 'That is not to say that school doesn't have a place'. I believe it could have a very beneficial role to play in enhancing young people's lives but not in its current shape and form. For me school age is too young, the hours are too long and the emphasis too much on targets and testing and not on the individual child and that is one of the (many) reasons home ed works for my family:).

I am glad it works well for you and your family. However, there may come a time when to achieve the required qualifications to enter their chosen field of employment they need to enter a formal educational establishment. When that time comes will they have the formal qualifications required to gain entry? Will they have the level/breadth of education required, will they have the ability to interact with their peers/those in authority in an educational setting?

I do hope so, but sadly that has not been my personal experience. It often seems that the parents have their ideals and goals met by home edding, but that the kids are the ones who are the guinea pigs. It is sometimes obvious when talking to these kids that their wishes are not always taken account of, that the zeal their parents have to get them out of a system they feel is flawed overtakes all else.

Each to their own.

FunWithFlags

poet123 wrote: »

I am glad it works well for you and your family. However, there may come a time when to achieve the required qualifications to enter their chosen field of employment they need to enter a formal educational establishment. When that time comes will they have the formal qualifications required to gain entry? Will they have the level/breadth of education required, will they have the ability to interact with their peers/those in authority in an educational setting?

I do hope so, but sadly that has not been my personal experience. It often seems that the parents have their ideals and goals met by home edding, but that the kids are the ones who are the guinea pigs. It is sometimes obvious when talking to these kids that their wishes are not always taken account of, that the zeal their parents have to get them out of a system they feel is flawed overtakes all else.

Each to their own.

Interestingly enough, nearly all of that can be applied to school education too, particularly the section I bolded. Some children leave school every year without the qualifications they may need for certain courses, without the full breadth of knowledge needed and without the social skills needed for interaction at a higher level of education. There's also the risk of not developing the ability to study alone or read around subjects which is a necessary skill for university or being so used to authority that they struggle with the jump from strict teacher and student relationships to the more relaxed lecturer and student relationship.

I think a lot of the issues people have highlighted in this thread against the idea of home education are non-existent and only highlight how little some people know about good home education in general or how their only interaction with home education has been with poor quality home ed. A home educated child wouldn't necessarily struggle in a formal setting as throughout their home education they may attend dance classes, sports teams, language lessons etc all of which involve interacting with peers and an authority figure. Also, as long as a child has an exam centre they can access, they can also achieve the same qualifications as a child in school (or likely, more due to not being as restricted by the schools offered subjects).

I love this thread though because it's really interesting to see everyones different points of view!

Errata

Joining the debate. Reading some posts on previous threads and in other places, I cringe at the low educational level, demonstrated by their writing and thinking, of some of those who home educate their children. They give every indiacation that they're not competent to educate.
On another point, I feel truly sorry for children who get no respite from their parents' searchlight non-stop observation because they're being educated at home and don't have the daily escape valve of school.

poet123

FunWithFlags wrote: »

Interestingly enough, nearly all of that can be applied to school education too, particularly the section I bolded. Some children leave school every year without the qualifications they may need for certain courses, without the full breadth of knowledge needed and without the social skills needed for interaction at a higher level of education. There's also the risk of not developing the ability to study alone or read around subjects which is a necessary skill for university or being so used to authority that they struggle with the jump from strict teacher and student relationships to the more relaxed lecturer and student relationship.

I think a lot of the issues people have highlighted in this thread against the idea of home education are non-existent and only highlight how little some people know about good home education in general or how their only interaction with home education has been with poor quality home ed. A home educated child wouldn't necessarily struggle in a formal setting as throughout their home education they may attend dance classes, sports teams, language lessons etc all of which involve interacting with peers and an authority figure. Also, as long as a child has an exam centre they can access, they can also achieve the same qualifications as a child in school (or likely, more due to not being as restricted by the schools offered subjects).

I love this thread though because it's really interesting to see everyones different points of view!

Some parents don't access it though. I have two students who we did allow onto a very basic course via interview without GCSE's (they hadn't sat any) but again and again they will face the lack of these quals if they want to progress. They were advised to try to gain some GCSE's alongside the course, but to date, have not done so.

Of course there is good and bad quality home ed, but it would have to be of a very very good quality to match the depths of knowledge my own kids gained from a school setting in the Sciences, or Maths. It is very hard for one person (probably untrained) to be able to offer that spread of subject knowledge. I know I couldn't do it. Reading around a subject is an adjunct to, not a replacement for, being taught by someone with good subject knowledge and experience.

moneysavingmumofone

My DS was extremely shy and sensitive as a toddler (still is sensitive at 7) and I was so worried about him starting nursery. I really thought he would cry at being left there and not want to go back but he loved it! I have never had a single tear from him and although still quiet and hesitant to fully join in at school he is not shy as such anymore. (dont smile at him at a bus stop for example or he'll take that as his cue to tell you every detail of the last Dr Who episode lol) I understand your worry that she will be ignored slightly as tbh I do think this happens with DS as he is so quiet but he loves school as a whole. I would give school a go, she may love it.