Home educate?

LTP123

Does it no come across, in spite of what I have experienced, I am exploring all options available to my daughter?

School, your right, will probably be great for her. However, peer pressure is a big part of school. Whether we like it or not, children follow the crowd whether we like it or not. Fitting in is more important than your own values. It's a very small minority who keep there heads down and don't buckle under peer pressure.

shellsuit

OP, If I were you, I'd send her, just for a couple of weeks, to see how she gets on.

You might be suprised, she might enjoy it, but if she doesn't and you don't think it's doing her any good, you can just easily pull her out.

If you don't give it a chance, you might think "what if", so I'd dip her toe in the water, what's the worst thing that could happen if you do that?



I loved school, as a child, and my 2 eldest loved school. I'm talking infant and junior school. High school was bleughhh, and my older 2 think the same lol!

FunWithFlags

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I agree I said that already.

The problem is, HE often bring skills to the group that you cannot offer so people do socialise together, and often these are the children yours socialise with. If you are not made to feel welcome (and someone here has already given their experiences) what on earth do you do then? At least on the playground there are lots of people to speak to.

We moved here and I knew no-one. I was kind of forced onto the PTA by a neighbour but it was the best thing I ever did and I know everyone at school now. Yes there are cliques but I let them get on with it.

Which can equally be done when coming across cliques in home education groups.

OP, it comes across to me that you have concerns and are exploring all your options If you weren't, you wouldn't have posted this thread in the first place. In the end, it's up to you so while people have given you lots of things to consider, follow your heart and do what feels right for YOUR daughter whether that's school or home education.

LTP123

What I mean to day is, with the above in mind, I never want her not to trust her gut and stand by what she believes in whether that's popular with other people or not.

mithras

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I agree I said that already.

Sorry, took me a while to write that post in between kids and breakfast so thread had moved on quite a bit by the time I actually posted .

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

The problem is, HE often bring skills to the group that you cannot offer so people do socialise together, and often these are the children yours socialise with. If you are not made to feel welcome (and someone here has already given their experiences) what on earth do you do then? At least on the playground there are lots of people to speak to.

Yes people do socialise together, yes not everybody gets on, yes sometimes - in my experience rarely but yes it does happen - groups splinter. But if there is some specific skill you want your child to learn/ acquire then you seek out someone who can help you run a workshop or group and hire them to do so. These things do happen as they do in any walk of life but they are rarely ever insurmountable .

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

We moved here and I knew no-one. I was kind of forced onto the PTA by a neighbour but it was the best thing I ever did and I know everyone at school now. Yes there are cliques but I let them get on with it.

That's lovely, certainly sounds like you found your niche .

I'm really enjoying everyone's responses btw even the ones I don't agree with. What a diverse lot we are and thank goodness for it! OP I wish you all the best whatever you decide for your family:).

meer53

LTP123 wrote: »

Does it no come across, in spite of what I have experienced, I am exploring all options available to my daughter?

School, your right, will probably be great for her. However, peer pressure is a big part of school. Whether we like it or not, children follow the crowd whether we like it or not. Fitting in is more important than your own values. It's a very small minority who keep there heads down and don't buckle under peer pressure.

Following the crowd is a normal part of life, so is peer pressure. And not just in school.

In order to understand your own values, you need to experience both of these.

mithras

meer53 wrote: »

Following the crowd is a normal part of life, so is peer pressure. And not just in school.

In order to understand your own values, you need to experience both of these.

I disagree with this. How is 'following the crowd a normal part of life'? Subjecting children to peer pressure at too young an age is harmful. They need time to grow confidence in their own opinions and ideas first before they are capable of withstanding peer pressure, especially the more negative aspects - drugs, drinking,sex at a too early age etc...at the very least they need to be confident to make up their own minds and not feel they HAVE to do xyz to fit in if they don't wish too.

kafkathecat

If anyone is interested there will be a small home ed fair in London on 15th September. In previous years this has included young adults talking about their experience of home ed as well as information stalls.

LTP123

mithras wrote: »

I disagree with this. How is 'following the crowd a normal part of life'? Subjecting children to peer pressure at too young an age is harmful. They need time to grow confidence in their own opinions and ideas first before they are capable of withstanding peer pressure, especially the more negative aspects - drugs, drinking,sex at a too early age etc...at the very least they need to be confident to make up their own minds and not feel they HAVE to do xyz to fit in if they don't wish too.

Exactly, when you are an adult its up to you if you follow the crowd. For a child it can be very lonely to think differently to their peers.

meer53

mithras wrote: »

I disagree with this. How is 'following the crowd a normal part of life'? Subjecting children to peer pressure at too young an age is harmful. They need time to grow confidence in their own opinions and ideas first before they are capable of withstanding peer pressure, especially the more negative aspects - drugs, drinking,sex at a too early age etc...at the very least they need to be confident to make up their own minds and not feel they HAVE to do xyz to fit in if they don't wish too.

So if they don't experience it, how do they manage to have the confidence to make their own decision as to whether they want to "follow the crowd" or to "fit in" ?

You can't possibly shield children from either of these situations, whether HE or not. Most children have groups of friends, a lot have older siblings, it's part of life.

My son and daughter (she is still at school) are completely different, as are most kids. My son decided quite early on at Grammar school that he didn't like the "cliquey" kids and stayed with his close friends. Up until then he was happy to go with the flow.

My daughter on the other hand, is more than happy to "follow the leader" for now. There are fallings out every single day, "she said this, she said that" and sometimes my daughter comes home in tears. Next day they're all best buddies again. It's how they learn to make judgements.

I'm not saying that following the crowd is something we should all do, but some people are happy to do just that. No one "subjects" children to peer pressure, it just happens, you have to deal with it.