Home educate?

mrs_sparrow

MarilynMonroe wrote: »

No, i don't think you've got a closed mind because your opinion differs, I based that on you saying children NEED school, when that's not true.

Fact is as soon as you mention home schooling (not on this thread I mean in real life) you are instantly up against very strong views of how school is best and how kids suffer by not going. How youre going to practically ruin their little lives and how they'll grow up a bit weird. There is very little real support unless you get in with a group of home educators and only really talk to others doing the same.

I'm not sending my daugher till she's 5, just like when I started and most people my age started, and that is frowned upon, like I must be mad to not want to send her from aged 3, what on earth is wrong with me lol.

I wouldn't hesitate to home school if dd has any problems with school, but because of lack of real support I am going to give her a chance at school but at 5 when it's law.
All this starting at 3 wasn't even an option ''in my day'' or at least it wasn't as rife as it is now.

I once read that children have a real thirst to learn... untill they start school.

I've also heard that some people in the home ed groups form their little clique and some parents struggle to 'fit in'? What if that happens? Is the parent going to be comfortable going to group work or do they then become isolated and end up staying at home with their child? I know you will tell me this never happens, but it does, and the OP says that she is shy herself so what if this happens?

LTP123

I am not shy. Highly sensitive, as you get older you can rationalise what you feel. No-one would describe me as shy!

LTP123

She will have friends from all different places regardless of how she is educated.

kafkathecat

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I've also heard that some people in the home ed groups form their little clique and some parents struggle to 'fit in'? What if that happens? Is the parent going to be comfortable going to group work or do they then become isolated and end up staying at home with their child? I know you will tell me this never happens, but it does, and the OP says that she is shy herself so what if this happens?

And that never happens at the school gate? Home ed is just like life not some weird cult as some here would like to think.
OP you can always keep your options open and find out about home ed in your local area as well as looking at other schools. Over the years I have known children go to school part time and others who had siblings at school. Some of my son's friends were home edded whilst waiting for a school place. We are all different.

mrs_sparrow

LTP123 wrote: »

I dont like it but take her if there is only her and I. This is being made a bigger problem than it is. I have CBT, it is working. I was assaulted quite badly in a public toilets in my late teens so the toilet thing wasn't just about school. Anyway enough about me!

I am sorry for upsetting you but part of the problem is that all of these fears YOU have are completely about why YOU do not want your child to go to school. So your fears are holding her back and this might not help her in the future.

I was bullied at school too and yes of course it crosses my mind as my kids were due to go to the same school. My son has been bullied by one child in particular and I am in there as often as I can getting on top of it.

The real problem is how your mother dealt with it, if the bullying did not stop then she should have moved you if the school did not deal with it.

All you can do is do more for your child than your mother did for you. This is what we learn as parents and I learn this every day and as a parent we have to try and make our childrens lives better, not project the fear of our experiences onto our children. I'll not be my mother and I will make sure that I am aware of everything going on within that school. I joined the PTA so I am often around school!! You can also go in a parent helper - they are always looking for helpers in early years, so you can keep an eye on her and her peers this way.

I picked up on my DD 'friend' sending her a vile message on moshi monsters website so I was in that school and told them and they encourporated cyber bullying into PSHE lessons. And if the school do not protect your child there are far more other avenues you can follow to get it sorted - threaten them with legal action for a start.

But give her the chance, make it exciting for her, get her the going to school book from Usborne, take her to other schools and let her have a look around those. Make it clear to the school that the last one you looked at was not right for her too. This is not about you, you need to make sure your child does not have the life you did.

It could also help you move on from your experiences. And classes these days have toilets in them and children are generally allowed to use them, complaints procedures are far more accessible too. Schools have changed, I know how hard this is as it is your first (and only) child and sending them into the unknown when you have had such an awful experience makes you feel like the worst parent in the world. But she is only 3 - she does not really know how to socialise properly, the people you put her with are all strangers and kids of 3 do not have friends as such either. The kids at school will be the ones she sees for the next 7 years or so - these are the ones she will choose her friends from.

Anyhow, sorry for dragging experiences up, I do think they are relavant though - even if you can't see it and sometimes others peoples eyes on the experience might help you. When you go for CBT next time, please speak to them about this issue and how it is affecting whether you send your daughter to school, I promise it will be useful even if you think it insignificant.

Lazy morning, this thread has certainly been an insight and I am pleased I read it. I better go and get dressed..... the danger if I home ed is that I might be in my PJ's all day. :eek: :rotfl:

mithras

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I've also heard that some people in the home ed groups form their little clique and some parents struggle to 'fit in'? What if that happens? Is the parent going to be comfortable going to group work or do they then become isolated and end up staying at home with their child? I know you will tell me this never happens, but it does, and the OP says that she is shy herself so what if this happens?

Unfortunately this type of behaviour can occur equally on the play ground (school pick ups and drop offs, school events), it can happen at work, at parties, in any walk of life cliques can form and adults/ parents can find it difficult to fit in. Sometimes it's simply a matter of taking your time and remembering these people may have known each other for a long time and that it will take you a while to grow your own friendships within a group. Or the other solution, if they're not friendly, is to leave the cliques to it and find the people whose company you and your children enjoy and spend time on those relationships instead of fretting over whether you 'fit in' or not. That too can take time but sometimes that is how the best friendships are formed - over time not instantly:).

Also just because you're HE doesn't mean you're totally stuck in HE communities - me and mine see lots of people in the course of a week not just other HEers:).

mrs_sparrow

kafkathecat wrote: »

And that never happens at the school gate? Home ed is just like life not some weird cult as some here would like to think.
OP you can always keep your options open and find out about home ed in your local area as well as looking at other schools. Over the years I have known children go to school part time and others who had siblings at school. Some of my son's friends were home edded whilst waiting for a school place. We are all different.

It does - but at least there are 100 other people to try to be friends with instead and it does not stop you going to school. Get a clique group at home ed and you don't fit in (maybe you went to school and people like clifford and his kids are sneering at you) then you are pretty much stuffed. Let's be honest.

Her daughter is not at school yet, she is 3 1/2 and has another good year of being at home - there is no education required, however, this WILL give her time to address her own experiences with school while visiting each and every one she can. She already said she tried to contact local home ed groups and had no response - hardly a good start when it's your only option, is it??

meer53

LTP123 wrote: »

I dont like it but take her if there is only her and I. This is being made a bigger problem than it is. I have CBT, it is working. I was assaulted quite badly in a public toilets in my late teens so the toilet thing wasn't just about school. Anyway enough about me!

It's not being made into a bigger problem. It's a problem which YOU have which your daughter could possibly pick up on too, the same as YOUR fears for her about going to school.

I think, and i don't want to sound really harsh here, or offend you, that if you're not careful, some of your concerns are going to affect your daughter. These are your concerns, not your daughters as she's too young to be concerned about anything at the moment.

It must be difficult for you, and i do understand that you only want the best for your daughter, but the more you post, the more it comes across that you are worrying unnecessarily.

I'm sure your daughter will be fine, just give her a chance.

FunWithFlags

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

With all due respect, this was pretty much how clifford_pope was talking about others as well.

With all due respect, how Clifford_pope talks about others bears no relevance to my comment. As far as I am aware, he or she is not a teacher entrusted with the care and education of thirty children on a daily basis. It still isn't appropriate for teachers to do and say things like those I mentioned to or about the children in their care.

Like I fairly mentioned in my previous post, I understand that not all teachers are like that. Equally not all people who home educate look down on schools or children who attend them and it would be quite silly to assume all do because of one post like you seem to have done.

Also, if the child you mention in your other post was brash and loud but went to school, would you be so quick to blame how the child is educated for his personality?

It's interesting too that a lot of people have mentioned not having the subject knowledge to teach children. While this may be true for high school subject specific knowledge, I don't think it is true for primary. A lot of teachers begin teaching with a PGCE and if you consider that half the year long course is spent in school learning the teaching (or crowd control ) aspect of the qualification, less than six months is spent refreshing subject knowledge. That seems doable for any enthusiastic parent. Also, many teachers will continue refreshing the subject knowledge that couldn't be squeezed into the course as they go along in their first job which, again, a parent wishing to home school could do.

[I'm so slow typing on my phone that this post is probably out of date for the direction of the thread lol!]

mrs_sparrow

mithras wrote: »

Unfortunately this type of behaviour can occur equally on the play ground (school pick ups and drop offs, school events), it can happen at work, at parties, in any walk of life cliques can form and adults/ parents can find it difficult to fit in. Sometimes it's simply a matter of taking your time and remembering these people may have known each other for a long time and that it will take you a while to grow your own friendships within a group. Or the other solution, if they're not friendly, is to leave the cliques to it and find the people who's company you and your children enjoy and spend time on those relationships instead of fretting over whether you 'fit in' or not. That too can take time but sometimes that is how the best friendships are formed - over time not instantly:).

Also just because you're HE doesn't mean you're totally stuck in HE communities - me and mine see lots of people in the course of a week not just other HEers:).

I agree I said that already.

The problem is, HE often bring skills to the group that you cannot offer so people do socialise together, and often these are the children yours socialise with. If you are not made to feel welcome (and someone here has already given their experiences) what on earth do you do then? At least on the playground there are lots of people to speak to.

We moved here and I knew no-one. I was kind of forced onto the PTA by a neighbour but it was the best thing I ever did and I know everyone at school now. Yes there are cliques but I let them get on with it.