Home educate?

shellsuit

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

have you thought about the practicalities? do you not need to work? what if you and OH split at some point? there are alot of things to think about arent there?

What if they split?

What would that have to do with this?

It would have a devastating effect on everyone regardless of whether the child was at school or taught at home.

With regards to the OP working, don't forget, that even if she did work, they wouldn't have to stick to 'school hours' if her daughter was taught at home would they?

mummyroysof3

my point was more if she works would her daughter have to go to some form of childcare? do they even have childcare for school age children in term time daytime?

if they split it could mess up the plans for home educating and wouldnt it be harder on a child to have to attend school at a later date than getting used to it from the start?

shellsuit

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

my point was more if she works would her daughter have to go to some form of childcare? do they even have childcare for school age children in term time daytime?

if they split it could mess up the plans for home educating and wouldnt it be harder on a child to have to attend school at a later date than getting used to it from the start?

A childminder or relative could help.


Who says they are going to split up? I don't even understand why that would come into it.

Maybe they should also look ahead as to what they would do if either of them died...

bestpud

Clifford_Pope wrote: »

We have totally home-educated our three children, now aged 14, 16 and 19.
It's a big subject with lots of unneeded advice from people with personal prejudices and axes to grind. Ignore them - just do what you want.

The only points I would make are:

1) There is no such thing as compulsory school age. EDUCATION is compulsory, and it is YOUR responsibility to ensure your child receives it. There is no obligation to delegate that responsibility to the education authority.
2) School does not socialise children, it teaches them to conform to the gang-culture.
3) Home-educated children are usually conspicuoulsy more self-assured, and at home mixing with other people of all ages. They have not been stratified into narrow age and culture bands.

I agree with all of the above. DD is now home-ed but we still mix with schooled children and their families and the difference is quite shocking tbh!

Schooled children are obsessed with looking right, acting correctly and anything else they can use to compare each other.

There is confident and less confident ones but they know their place and they don't step out of line.

In my experience, home-ed children don't compare themselves - they take each other at face value and they either get on or they don't. Every group is different and the same group can differ according to location.

Of course you still get bullies and 'difficult' children and parents, but the difference is we are there to help our children negotiate their way through.

Overall, I strongly believe they learn far more about human behaviour than they ever will in a rigid school environment where little changes when it comes to social interaction.

But be warned. You may well end up with children who know themselves to be more mature, rounded, and better-educated than their peers, and tend to look down sneeringly on children and their parents who have been through the state sausage machine.
But home-educated children will be much more interesting to talk to. Ask an employer.

This bit I don't agree with! I do know where you are coming from as it is difficult not to look at schooled children with a heavy heart - just because they do act the same and it can be quite depressing! Their parents probably don't notice it (I know I didn't when mine were in school) but it is very obvious when you look in from the outside!

I wouldn't like my child to act in the way you describe though and I'm not sure that will make them 'interesting' work colleagues either. Sure employers may find them more interesting but people with that kind of attitude don't make good team players in my experience.

poet123

daska wrote: »

Which pretty much backs up Mithras' point that State Schools might not do an adequate preparation and it's down to the parent. So HE isn't a disadvantage in that area.

It entirely depends imo why you are Home Edding, and how.

mithras wrote: »

I have to go out now so will have to come back to this thread later, but am really intrigued by what you mean by this, care to explain in more detail Poet?:)

The poster spoke about people being inadequate, having anxieties, being ill prepared for social interaction such as interviews, letter writing etc. A lot of anxieties are learned, they stem from our home environment, ditto feelings of inadequacy, and families often do not give their kids the tools to grow up. If that is the case then Home Edd would be the worst possible scenario as they would have no escape route or counterbalance.

From a personal standpoint I would have to have explored ever other avenue and have some compelling reasons before I would consider Home Ed given what I have seen in a professional capacity. I do accept some people do have those compelling reasons.

That is not to say it doesn't have a place, but whilst it may be a cure for some of the "ills" in the school system (and when analysed they are often ills in society really, with people, not the system per se) it often throws up entirely different issues at the later stages of education/working life.

bestpud

OP - I agree some children are just not ready for the hustle and bustle of a busy nursery or school and your daughter may well be one of them. I don't believe pushing such a child into that environment is good for them - I think it will make her retreat further into her shell.

I do know though, that I couldn't have successfully home-ed my child a few years ago as I wasn't in the right place emotionally. That would be my reservation - I think you need to complete your counselling sessions and then take another look.

You don't need to make a decision yet so maybe you could visit a few local home-ed groups and suss it out with your dd?

I think someone has pm'd you some links already but feel free to pm me if you want more specific pointers, depending on where you are in the country.

The only thing connecting home-edders is home-ed - other than that it is a diverse community and you will find people on your wavelength but maybe not straight away.

I think you are wise to try school but just keep in mind it doesn't have to be permanent as that thought will probably help you.

bestpud

poet123 wrote: »

It entirely depends imo why you are Home Edding, and how.



The poster spoke about people being inadequate, having anxieties, being ill prepared for social interaction such as interviews, letter writing etc. A lot of anxieties are learned, they stem from our home environment, ditto feelings of inadequacy, and families often do not give their kids the tools to grow up. If that is the case then Home Edd would be the worst possible scenario as they would have no escape route or counterbalance.

From a personal standpoint I would have to have explored ever other avenue and have some compelling reasons before I would consider Home Ed given what I have seen in a professional capacity. I do accept some people do have those compelling reasons.

That is not to say it doesn't have a place, but whilst it may be a cure for some of the "ills" in the school system (and when analysed they are often ills in society really, with people, not the system per se) it often throws up entirely different issues at the later stages of education/working life.

The problem is we won't ever know how any child would have responded to the alternative iykwim?

The home-ed children you have come across may well never have made it to college if they'd been left to go through the system, or they might have been oozing confidence and brilliant academically.

I agree the reasons for home-ed make a difference.

A child who has been severely bullied can take years to recover and may still struggle in FE but who knows what state they'd be in if they'd been left in the system. They may still be a bit isolated but they are still better off overall I'd say.

A child taken out for educational reasons may not have fully caught up by the time they get to FE but they too may never have got to that point if left to flounder.

It could happen the other way too, obviously, but we just can't know without a crystal ball.

I also think it's possible many more school children than you think struggle with something in FE but they are better able to hide it after years of learning how to 'get by'.

barbarawright

giantmutantbroccoli wrote: »

Regarding the epic never-ending argument of home schooling vs state schooling, it's always worth remembering that just because you send your kids to school doesn't mean you can't also educate them yourself. I know I learnt a lot of interesting things from my parents that weren't covered in the curriculum! You don't have to just leave it all up to the school. Likewise just because you choose to home school doesn't mean you can't also take your kids to after-school clubs or courses, or even send them to school for a bit.
It is worth noting that a school is only so good as the teachers in it. Some schools are frankly awful! And not every parent is suited to teaching, either.
There are pros and cons to both methods, no one is "the best" for everybody.

Excellent point. Some people seem to be talking as if school means sending your children away for 10 years and never seeing them again. Upthread someone mentioned a homeschooled child having the freedom to read books, watch documentaries, use a computer. Surely all kids do that and can be taken to museums and galleries and so on in the plentiful spare time they have outside school. All children are home educated but some go to school as well.

daska

It's also worth remembering that there is the option of flexi-schooling, in which some time is spent at school and some on activities outside the school. This only requires the agreement of the Head Teacher.

jellyhead

daska wrote: »

It's also worth remembering that there is the option of flexi-schooling, in which some time is spent at school and some on activities outside the school. This only requires the agreement of the Head Teacher.

Ah yes, that's what it's called. As I said earlier, a family we know from gymnastics do this to varying degrees for each of their children. I considered it for my son too, but it turned out that he got plenty of time off school in reception anyhow due to stomach upsets. 2 days off each time And he loved year 1 and never needed time off, same in year 2. It's something I will always bear in mind though, if my sensitive little flower doesn't seem to be thriving in school.