Home educate?

jellyhead

LTP123 wrote: »

Does it no come across, in spite of what I have experienced, I am exploring all options available to my daughter?

School, your right, will probably be great for her. However, peer pressure is a big part of school. Whether we like it or not, children follow the crowd whether we like it or not. Fitting in is more important than your own values. It's a very small minority who keep there heads down and don't buckle under peer pressure.

If it's any consolation, apart from being introduced to moshi monsters my 7 year old hasn't encountered peer pressure yet. Well, he probably has in subtle ways I haven't picked up on, but what I meant was he hasn't been bullied or laughed at, and has chosen things like lunchboxes, coats etc. according to personal preference, without comparing them to what anyone else has.

claire16c

LTP123 wrote: »

We would need to be miles away from here. It's not just this town, its the next few. So not really.

If its all that bad, wouldnt you want to get out of there and BE miles away though? Doesnt exactly sound like a good reason to stay there!:)

LTP123

Romantic idea but not practical in our case. Our families are here, jobs and our mortgaged negative equity house!

Not to mention we could move and be faced with the same problem.

edgex

LTP123 wrote: »

Oh and when we went for the open day, I told the teacher she was a deep thinker and a worrier. I had no response and she walked away.

I'm not really against school. I know home educators are the minority. Maybe I just picked the wrong school. I foul apply for a smaller school nxt September but that would mean she goes into full days at school. She may be a bit stronger by then? If she goes to dance class and karate for the next 12 months?

Thanks again x

:huh:

your daughters 3&1/2
how can she be a deep thinker & a worrier?
we barely have any memory before the age of 4

your projecting onto your child

ska_lover

Be careful OP that you are not doing exactly wht EDGEX is saying. Maybe its not your child that needs to toughen up, it's you? At some point ou are going to have to step back and cross your fingers like the rest of us parents.

Just a thought, dont mean to sound mean or anything.

FunWithFlags

edgex wrote: »

:huh:

your daughters 3&1/2
how can she be a deep thinker & a worrier?
we barely have any memory before the age of 4

your projecting onto your child

She can quite easily be a deep thinker and a worrier. Children have thoughts and feelings too funnily enough! It seems a bit strange to me to say we have barely any memory before the age of four because I certainly remember things from playschool and nursery age and these memories can't be from home videos or parents telling me about them.

jellyhead

ska_lover wrote: »

Be careful OP that you are not doing exactly wht EDGEX is saying. Maybe its not your child that needs to toughen up, it's you? At some point ou are going to have to step back and cross your fingers like the rest of us parents.

Just a thought, dont mean to sound mean or anything.

I'm one of those parents who never wants to step back and cross my fingers - I have to be gently persuaded that it will be okay

I think it's because my children are summer holidays birthdays, so they are less mature than the others - also because they both have mild special needs, mostly to do with dyspraxia/poor fine motor control, but school keep sending both to be assessed for aspergers too. With both of my children I just wish the cut-off date for when they start school was elsewhere, so they could be average age or older within their class, and then their difficulties wouldn't be so obvious.

Anyway, the way that school and nursery (in my experiences) approach sensitive children (and oversensitive parents) is to make them feel confident about having a go. If their key person or a classroom assistant listens to the parents concern and promises to help the child or keep an eye on them, then the parent feels less anxious and so does the child. It's worked okay for us anyway (it's only happened twice, before anyone accuses me of being a problem parent - once at nursery about toilet training, and once in reception about problems with getting dressed after PE).

The teacher that OP spoke to about her daughter being a worrier could have made so much difference by reassuring the OP and saying she would keep an eye on her and report back.

claire16c

LTP123 wrote: »

Romantic idea but not practical in our case. Our families are here, jobs and our mortgaged negative equity house!

Not to mention we could move and be faced with the same problem.

Well I guess maybe once you were in a position to move mortgage wise it could become a reality even if thats not for years to come, and youd just research the area beforehand, its easy to find out if a place has good schools, low unemployment etc (although unfortunately normally by the house prices ). I wouldnt stay in a bad area unless I absolutely had to especially if it meant I was worried about the schools.

Moving somewhere with better job prospects etc has to be better for your children when theyre older too.

I can understand why you would not want your child to go to school in a bad area. But Id rather move house than not send my child to school full stop. But with primary school I think youve got a lot less to be concerned about than secondary.

Janepig

jellyhead wrote: »

If it's any consolation, apart from being introduced to moshi monsters my 7 year old hasn't encountered peer pressure yet. Well, he probably has in subtle ways I haven't picked up on, but what I meant was he hasn't been bullied or laughed at, and has chosen things like lunchboxes, coats etc. according to personal preference, without comparing them to what anyone else has.

(as you know JH) my DS is not far off 7 and he's very much his own man. Of course he likes some of the things that his friends do (such as Moshi Monsters), but more often than not he'll go his own way. We bought him some new goalie gloves today that were trimmed with pink and I was gently trying to say "are you absolutely sure you want the pink ones?" and yes he did! He's also gone to school wearing nail varnish before now, and has been known to wear DD's Snow White dress and various other girlie dressing up costumes (but not to school!!!!). But before I make him out to be totally effeminate, he has his boyish moments too!

DD on the other hand is a total sheep, but she'd have been like that school or no school imo.

Jx

jellyhead

Janepig wrote: »

(as you know JH) my DS is not far off 7 and he's very much his own man. Of course he likes some of the things that his friends do (such as Moshi Monsters), but more often than not he'll go his own way. We bought him some new goalie gloves today that were trimmed with pink and I was gently trying to say "are you absolutely sure you want the pink ones?" and yes he did! He's also gone to school wearing nail varnish before now, and has been known to wear DD's Snow White dress and various other girlie dressing up costumes (but not to school!!!!). But before I make him out to be totally effeminate, he has his boyish moments too!

DD on the other hand is a total sheep, but she'd have been like that school or no school imo.

Jx

Come to think of it my eldest has never been a sheep, and he's just finished GCSEs and still has no regard for peer pressure or fashion.

My niece on the other hand, she gets upset and says somebody said her winnie the pooh lunchbox was for babies. She's very sensitive though, but she loved nursery and reception.

My 7 year old has just chosen the ugliest, most ridiculous glasses possible and when I tried to dissuade him and said he might get laughed at he said they make him laugh too, and he will just laugh with the other kids.