Neighbours and their kids

bazster

funnythings wrote: »

Children are little angels who are innocent and harmless what could a young child do so wrong in life to deserve to get smacked and be hurt in such a way by an adult.

Actually they're little gits a lot of the time, but that doesn't excuse beating them up.

1940sGal

funnythings wrote: »

Please ring for help.

no child deserves to be smacked or hit.

Depends if the 'smack' is a swipe across the backside because the child has misbehaved, like what we got when we were kids. And yes, i'm going to say it, it never did us any harm. Most kids nowadays don't get this discipline at home and are so far from being 'little angels'. Come live down my street for a day and you'll soon change your viewpoint. But i'm getting into a different discussion altogether...

Mojisola

shays_mum wrote: »

What has mentioning the fact that they are Nigerian got to do with bad parenting?!, maybe its just me, but all cultures are just as able to inflict cruelty on their kids.
TBH you would do what any other person would do who sees a child in danger, call the police/nspcc/social services!

In Nigeria it wouldn't be seen as bad parenting. Many parents still use corporal punishment as an everyday tool and so do schools.

1940sGal

SecondPoster wrote: »

We have recently (a year ago) had a nigerian family move in next door with 3 children (all 3 are autistic).

Over the summer holidays, on many occasions (nearly daily), we've heard the mother and father physically punishing the children.

Now I'm aware some parents smack their children and I believe legally they are allowed?, however you can hear the children screaming and it's not simply one smack. It sounds like the parents are hitting the kids multiple times.

We have previously called the police after the father was obviously beating up the wife in the early hours of the morning. He was taken away in handcuffs. Since then, the neighbours have been rude to us and have been a nightmare (playing loud music, leaving rubbish outside our house, our cars keyed (no evidence it was them)).

My mother was mortified yesterday when she went in the garden and one of the children was sitting out the window on the window-ledge upstairs playing (the windows open outwards). She informed the parents who were rude, but got the child in from the window-ledge.

Are we wrong to get involved in this? We have no evidence and have not seen them hit the kids, only heard it. They will know it's us if we inform social services and we'll likely have another car keyed or music playing all night, which is particularly worrying for me as I am moving out in a few weeks, leaving mum on her own.

We've had a problem neighbour for nearly 17 years and the police and housing association have done nothing, but it's a different situation from yours.

Find out if they're renting. If they are, make a formal complaint to their landlord. And keep doing so until it gets dealt with.

If they're with a housing association, complain to them.

Keep a diary of EVERYTHING that is said/done. If your car was only keyed after they moved in and after you started getting grief, mention that (though it's still a moot point since you have no proof).

Consider getting CCTV put up at your house, though if you do be wary of where it points as you can't film their house without their permission, it needs to film mostly your place.

As another poster said, call the NSPCC. If the children are being abused, don't let it drop.

funnythings

1940sGal wrote: »

Depends if the 'smack' is a swipe across the backside because the child has misbehaved, like what we got when we were kids. And yes, i'm going to say it, it never did us any harm. Most kids nowadays don't get this discipline at home and are so far from being 'little angels'. Come live down my street for a day and you'll soon change your viewpoint. But i'm getting into a different discussion altogether...

all children are angels but if you have parents who don't give a poop then yes then perhaps they will be little devils.

but what if you got a smack everytime you did something wrong so why should a child

bazster

funnythings wrote: »

all children are angels but if you have parents who don't give a poop then yes then perhaps they will be little devils.

That, in a nutshell, is a big problem. No children are angels, they are all capable of being little monsters at times, and parents who refuse to accept this and think their little darlings are perfect are the very ones who let their monsters run riot to everyone else's annoyance.

Still no excuse for beating them up, though.

Fire_Fox

funnythings wrote: »

all children are angels but if you have parents who don't give a poop then yes then perhaps they will be little devils.

but what if you got a smack everytime you did something wrong so why should a child

No children really are not all angels. I was a horror once my sibling was born right up to getting politely asked to move out at 17. My parents and two close relatives were all teachers at the time, so it's not like they didn't know how to appropriately and consistently discipline me, and they did all the nice parenting stuff too. I even went to child guidance but refused to cooperate so it was useless. :eek:

marisco_2

I notice that you mention the children are autistic. Depending whereabouts on the spectrum they are, their behaviours could be extremely challenging. Reasoning with them could also be fruitless as their perceptions of things are very different to that of children without this condition.

They require alot of patience and understanding to be shown. Not to have parents who flip out and inflict violence. I wonder how much support the parents have sought for the children and themselves. Personally if I were witnessing and hearing what you are, with vulnerable children involved, I would call social services. The family could benefit from their help in the long run.

coolcait

funnythings wrote: »

Children are little angels who are innocent and harmless what could a young child do so wrong in life to deserve

I recommend reading 'Lord of the Flies'.

annie1975_2

Mojisola wrote: »

In Nigeria it wouldn't be seen as bad parenting. Many parents still use corporal punishment as an everyday tool and so do schools.

They are in our country now, and should live by our rules...
They should be reported ASAP.