Neighbours and their kids

SecondPoster

We have recently (a year ago) had a nigerian family move in next door with 3 children (all 3 are autistic).

Over the summer holidays, on many occasions (nearly daily), we've heard the mother and father physically punishing the children.

Now I'm aware some parents smack their children and I believe legally they are allowed?, however you can hear the children screaming and it's not simply one smack. It sounds like the parents are hitting the kids multiple times.

We have previously called the police after the father was obviously beating up the wife in the early hours of the morning. He was taken away in handcuffs. Since then, the neighbours have been rude to us and have been a nightmare (playing loud music, leaving rubbish outside our house, our cars keyed (no evidence it was them)).

My mother was mortified yesterday when she went in the garden and one of the children was sitting out the window on the window-ledge upstairs playing (the windows open outwards). She informed the parents who were rude, but got the child in from the window-ledge.

Are we wrong to get involved in this? We have no evidence and have not seen them hit the kids, only heard it. They will know it's us if we inform social services and we'll likely have another car keyed or music playing all night, which is particularly worrying for me as I am moving out in a few weeks, leaving mum on her own.

Dumbe

Sorry not really sure what to advise, but didn't want to read and not express my sympathy and support

rachbc

Ring the NSPCC - please. Think of the damage being done to these young lives if you don't at least try and help

Del_Astra

How will they know it is you? Do they not have neighbours over the road / on the other side that could just as easily report them?

Can you discuss with the mother on her own? Whilst it must be hard for any woman that is in this sort of position it must be even harder for someone in a foreign country where everyone speaks another language.

Not knowing the ages of the children, it is hard to say, I have heard children cry / scream that sounds like something terrible is happening, its not its just an over reaction but I do understand how horrible it is to hear.

I'm not 100% sure what I would do from what you describe, I doubt I would do nothing. It is worrying about the all night music if they have children. If the all night music starts I would be reporting that for sure, as for the concerns about physical abuse, I'm not sure what you can or should do here. I'd be inclinded to attempt to offer some support to mum though as a first step.

bazster

Maybe it's going to make your life difficult, but how are you going to feel if one of those children gets seriously injured or killed? You have no choice but to act. And you do have evidence: you have heard the children being beaten. You don't have to have a cast-iron case, that's the job of the police.

Idiophreak

Are they renting or have they bought?

sassyblue

I'd inform social services but tell SS you want ANONYMITY, there was a thread on here a while back where SS informed the people who had reported them because they 'assumed' it was okay to do so!

I wouldn't let that abuse go on. Hopefully the family will move on with SS in tow....

Fire_Fox

Contact the NSPCC or Social Services, you don't have to have seen anything - the abuse might be less than you fear but equally it might be worse than you fear. Initially these organisations will make enquiries and offer support on parenting skills, the children will not simply be taken into care or anything. There have been various tragic cases of child abuse and even torture here and in the US where several relatives or neighbours were aware/ suspected that something was not right but did not take action. By the time the situation came to the attention of the authorities permanent physical and/ or mental harm had been done.

Playing loud music should be reported to Environmental Health.

zaksmum

Just because this kind of ill treatment of kids may be permissible in Nigeria doesn't mean the parents are allowed to do it here.

Definitely inform the authorities - these kids are at risk

funnythings

Please ring for help.

no child deserves to be smacked or hit. it is really upsetting that now days this still goes on especially when there are many organisations that offer so much help and support.

Children are little angels who are innocent and harmless what could a young child do so wrong in life to deserve to get smacked and be hurt in such a way by an adult.

I know you live next door but if you ring the NSPCC they will help and advise you. you can always do this by e-mail.

If it is the childs parent who is causing the pain and hurt then who is protecting those little children if the parents aren't

shays_mum

What has mentioning the fact that they are Nigerian got to do with bad parenting?!, maybe its just me, but all cultures are just as able to inflict cruelty on their kids.
TBH you would do what any other person would do who sees a child in danger, call the police/nspcc/social services!