Family Wedding abroad, what would you do?

mountainofdebt

If I was going to Australia for that holiday of a lifetime, I would want to go for at least a month .....would your work allow you to have that amount of time off - I know mine would have a major fit if I asked for that amount of time off.

as for doing something special, is there no way that a web cam could be set up so you could watch the wedding virtually?

browneyedbazzi

I got married in the UK and some of my close friends and family came from home (Canada) which was lovely, but I wouldn't have dreamed of putting pressure on people to attend. I certainly didn't think any less of someone who couldn't make the trip or let it come between us (with the exception of one friend who said she was coming and gave me a cheque to sort out her accommodation then cancelled the cheque and left me out of pocket but that's quite different!).

It was my decision to get married where I did and when I made that decision I took into account that some people that I would have liked to be there wouldn't be able to attend.

If it will put a lot of pressure on you financially and Australia isn't a place you fancy for a holiday then you shouldn't feel pressured into going. The whole point of having a separate celebration in the UK is surely so that those who can't attend the actual wedding can still celebrate with them.

DKLS

Tell them to set up a webcam so you can attend.

I have never wanted to go to australia, but have now been 5 times through work and I have hated every visit. Some people rave about Oz but I just didnt get it.

andygb

koneko wrote: »

Thanks for your replies everyone. Interestingly I think she would be fine with it if we didn't go, his parents are the problem really, right from the start, they have just assumed we will be going, without actually asking us if we can afford to etc.

We know people like this, and they are just arrogant and very self centred, and believe that the World revolves around them.

Sambucus_Nigra

koneko wrote: »

She and his parents have made it clear that we are expected to attend, however we have been saving up to buy a house and can't see how we can afford to go all that way without putting our house plans seriously off track.

What things are they saying that make you believe that you are expected to attend? Have you actually had an invitation yet?

seven-day-weekend

Just say sorry, you can't afford it, wish them a great time and have a good celebration in the UK. It's none of his parents' business (unless they wish to pay for you to go if it means so much to them).

themull1

Just say that you're saving for a house, and its going to cost too much to get there. Stick to your guns and don't be forced into going by other family members.

Mara69

My sister got married in the the USA and I would have loved to have gone. However, there was no way ever we could afford it so we didn't go.

If you can't afford it then don't go. It really is that simple.

andygb

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

What things are they saying that make you believe that you are expected to attend? Have you actually had an invitation yet?

If they are anything like my lot, then it will be emotional blackmail.

BugglyB

Are your partner and his sister close? Personally I would move heaven and earth to go to my sisters wedding, but then, she would never have asked me to pay that much to go. I also think a good compromise might be OH going and you not, making it clear you are paying for OH out of joint funds which can only stretch to one of you going.