Flying solo

grannyx2

Oh Robin, please don't beat yourself up for reacting the way you did to GF, he is your baby and you are trying to do all you can to help him.

Glad to hear El Divos are helping

Also pleased to hear about CDs results

Granny x

please-let-me-be-lucky

It sounds like you've handled everything wonderfully, as I had no doubt you would. As always, you have been well balanced and fair.

My apologies if the use of the word toxic offends. I didn't mean in terms of her MH issues, I know how bad that can be on many levels, but more towards her manipulation of the situation. Whether with good intention or not, she has made things difficult for Divo2 at a time when his needs were at least on par with hers, if not greater. I'm glad he has so many people to care for him though.

Brilliant news about CD, belly rubs and ear tickles for her Xx

Fudgefund

I, too, didn't mean to imply GF herself is a toxic person, more that her and Divo2 didn't seem to be having a very good effect on each other in the eye of the storm. Living with someone with MH issues can be difficult at times, just ask my boyfriend, and someone hurting themselves is very worrying and distressing. Like I said, a bit of space and time will allow Divo2 to work through events when everything has shaken down a bit and he is feeling better.

You've definitely done the right thing extending the olive branch, and well done on treating the situation with compassion. :A

Really pleased to hear CD is doing well. xx

*Robin*

Good morning World! :hello:

triple_choc_chip wrote: »

My thought as I read your last post was 'munchausens syndrome'? I didn't suspect she was using her own meds but that would be convenient and to hand. Certainly though it seems she can control him if he is dependent on drugs or on her to function.

Welcome to the Nest, Triple Choc Chip - great user-name, btw!
Yup, Munchausens by proxy was what I was wondering about, but it doesn't fit the profile of GF's behaviour - which EUPB does, like a glove. Should have found time for research earlier, and avoided voicing unfounded suspicions. My bad bad bad.

triple_choc_chip wrote: »

I also think the reconciliation was a good move - keep your enemies closer and all that jazz! Good luck.

Good point - definitely not thinking of GF as an enemy, but it's reassuring to know what she's up to. All quiet last night..
Divo One spoke to the ward sister, who told him DS2 refused to see GF when she tried to visit.

grannyx2 wrote:

Oh Robin, please don't beat yourself up for reacting the way you did to GF, he is your baby and you are trying to do all you can to help him.

Glad to hear El Divos are helping

Thanks Granny. Had to chuckle at the image of Divo Two being my baby - if only you could see; at 6'2" he towers over yours truly (and his brothers)! :rotfl:

DS1 gave me a ticking-off for spending too much time reading about GF's problems, rather than concentrating just on Two. He said that compared to the locals, our family is pretty rubbish at supporting each other. He has a point; none of our Spanish neighbours would dream of allowing a family member to spend any time in hospital without being accompanied by a rota of folk who love them, all day every day.

It's certainly true each time I've been in a Spanish hospital, the corridors filled with noisy chatter at seven o'clock every morning when all the 'accompanistas' arrived. Difficult for anyone who prefers peace and quiet, but at least they only have two patients per room (much better for avoiding spread of pernicious infections such as plague UK hospitals).
Interestingly, when attempting to describe a British hospital, I could not find a Spanish word for "ward" - audience were all horrified at the thought of putting up to sixteen sick people all together!

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote:

My apologies if the use of the word toxic offends. I didn't mean in terms of her MH issues, I know how bad that can be on many levels, but more towards her manipulation of the situation. Whether with good intention or not, she has made things difficult for Divo2 at a time when his needs were at least on par with hers, if not greater.

No offence whatsoever. I used 'toxic' as a summation of everyone's expressions - in retrospect a poor choice; apologies.
You're right though, Lucky, my feelings are biased by the thought you voiced (bolded).

Fudgefund wrote:

I, too, didn't mean to imply GF herself is a toxic person, more that her and Divo2 didn't seem to be having a very good effect on each other in the eye of the storm.
Living with someone with MH issues can be difficult at times, just ask my boyfriend, and someone hurting themselves is very worrying and distressing. Like I said, a bit of space and time will allow Divo2 to work through events when everything has shaken down a bit and he is feeling better.

Thank you very much, Fudgie; you understand. :grouphug:

Do feel very conflicted over what's best to say and do; your comments - everyone - really help with objective thought. :T

Clever Dog appreciates all the extra cuddles..
She hates her eye-drops so much that she's begun avoiding me at appointed times of treatment - got away with it last night by staying outside until after Muggins fell asleep.
Atm CD is safely out of reach on her sentry-post - time for a bribe, methinks.

Failed to unblock the grey water drain yesterday, so once CD has been dosed up am going to seek assistance.

Forgot to note a spend on the day of CD's appointment: Fuel - £65

Sun_Addict

So glad CD is ok, add another cuddle from me to the queue

Re GF, it's good to voice your concerns on here, even if they turn out to be unfounded. You're a mother and of course you're going to be protective of your son. In my experience offspring never listen to parents' advice re partners, they have to learn the hard way and then when it all goes pear shaped you have to fight the urge to say I told you so. I went through it a couple of years ago with my DS and his ex.

Brightspark87

Wow Robin you have a through so much. Thank goodness all of your family have you to support them?!

It is sad that your lovely sons seem to often have a bad time with the ladies. I do hope that the issues are smoothed out and that the ‘love blindness’ doesn’t affect their true judgement.

Hope CD is keeping well and still enjoying her ‘gloop’, as we have said before sounds like a wonderful diet 

Stay strong Robin, you are doing very well x

*Robin*

Hello Diary and Dedicated MSEers, :hello:

Thanks for popping in, Sun.A and Sparky. :T

Black dog has been prowling round again; am so pathetic and useless at such times.

ETA: Post zilched; too depressing.

Sun_Addict

Hi Robin - hope that black dog stays in the background although you have such a lot on your plate I can't blame you for feeling low. You're doing really well considering.

grannyx2

Hello my dear, sorry you felt the need to edit your post, after all it was how you were feeling at the time and a problem shared is often halved

Anyway just popping in to say I hope you are feeling a bit brighter this evening x

*Robin*

A couple of salient details from zilched post re spends:
Property taxes - £125
CD's meds - £60

Still no closer to new horizons.
May even be another step backwards - ignoring issues with DS2 & GF - because CD's blind eye is swollen again.
Was intending to call Dear Vet, but suddenly had to go horizontal; been feverish and headachy all day. Didn't book solicitor appointment either.
Try again tomorrow. <sigh>