Pre empting noisy neighbour and asking them to keep it down?

Fire_Fox

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Of course people who live in the same house should show consideration for someone who works nights - especially as it is often that the person who works nights does so in order to pay the bills and ensure the comfort of others who live there!

However, I think it would be unreasonable for my neighbours to know my shift pattern and short of presenting them with a list of my shifts every month then they wouldn't have a scooby when I would be sleeping or awake

As a one off I think it is acceptable, if a little cheeky, to ask neighbours to keep the noise down. I don't think this should be a permanent arrangement, do you?

Actually it was a shared house, not everyone has a husband and 2.4 children. Regardless of the living arrangements I expect consideration from my neighbours and they can expect consideration from me. As I said "I don't recall anyone expecting silence every time they were on a night or late, that would be equally unreasonable."

lostinrates

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Actually it was a shared house, not everyone has a husband and 2.4 children. Regardless of the living arrangements I expect consideration from my neighbours and they can expect consideration from me. As I said "I don't recall anyone expecting silence every time they were on a night or late, that would be equally unreasonable."

I agree with firefox.

Everyone knows that 'life happens'. My neighbours happen to make a lot of noise on thusday mornings connected to their work, so as a result i know thursday morning is a bad morning for me to medidate/have quiet loving people for coffee/ whatever. Likewise, if they know we have guests they are hapoy to make special effort...within the remit of them getting on with things, to keep extra noise minimised. Its ...considerate, neighbourly and reciprocal.

We have really excellent neighbours, and i am eased to say i hear they like us too. We luckily get on well, make allowances for our differenct requirments from our shared boundaries and enjoy charting and a drink when we see each other at local events. We keep very much to ourselves too not in each others pockets.

Some months ago i did mention i had heard a strange noise at night. As well as driving me potty i was concerned it might be related to their machinery and the next night they had a late night so took advantage of it to come and listen at the times i mentioned we had heard it. I also was teacking it down and it turned out to be an electrical fault in MY house! . My neighbours were thrilled and received my apology with a pat on the back and the plea to never let things feater but mention if they were causing inconvenience, as we agreed we would want them to do to us.

Most of the time aranging things to be acceptable to both is not impossible. If i new my neighbour was working nights i would steer my social engagements to afternoons when possible if it seemed that would not put them out. Why would i NOT want to be considerate?

thatgirlsam

lostinrates wrote: »

I agree with firefox.

Everyone knows that 'life happens'. My neighbours happen to make a lot of noise on thusday mornings connected to their work, so as a result i know thursday morning is a bad morning for me to medidate/have quiet loving people for coffee/ whatever. Likewise, if they know we have guests they are hapoy to make special effort...within the remit of them getting on with things, to keep extra noise minimised. Its ...considerate, neighbourly and reciprocal.

We have really excellent neighbours, and i am eased to say i hear they like us too. We luckily get on well, make allowances for our differenct requirments from our shared boundaries and enjoy charting and a drink when we see each other at local events. We keep very much to ourselves too not in each others pockets.

Some months ago i did mention i had heard a strange noise at night. As well as driving me potty i was concerned it might be related to their machinery and the next night they had a late night so took advantage of it to come and listen at the times i mentioned we had heard it. I also was teacking it down and it turned out to be an electrical fault in MY house! . My neighbours were thrilled and received my apology with a pat on the back and the plea to never let things feater but mention if they were causing inconvenience, as we agreed we would want them to do to us.

Most of the time aranging things to be acceptable to both is not impossible. If i new my neighbour was working nights i would steer my social engagements to afternoons when possible if it seemed that would not put them out. Why would i NOT want to be considerate?

I think that is really nice of you.

Honestly, would you be happy to do this 4 days a week, 46 weeks a year?

I commend you!

tinksy

my husband sometimes works nights due to emergencies. We previously lived in a detached house now in a semi detached. We can hear nothing through the walls at all.

If we could I would possibly only say something on the first couple of nights when he is shifting himself onto nights. Once his body is in the routine he tends to crash out no issues.

However we have pretty nice neighbours and we do stuff for each other. They rescued me from a spider on Sunday, we have mowed the joint lawn all summer as they recently had their first child.

lostinrates

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I think that is really nice of you.

Honestly, would you be happy to do this 4 days a week, 46 weeks a year?

I commend you!

Yes, we do conciously arrange stuff to be as least impactful and most accomodating, but with in reason.

Eg my husband is a musician, we KNOW we are noisy. We bought a house with minimising our impact on a community in mind, we have very few neighbours. They know we make noise outside most clear saturdays gor example, and let us know if they are planning a bbq or something, then we either make less noise or make it elsewhere.

Lots of things cannot be helped, e.g., when their cows are calving we hear it, a lot we are lucky we like animal noise, but i still would not choose it, but...it happens. I feel differently about that than i do inconsiderate parties on a party wall four evenings a week. their harvest should come in soon, weathe permitting ( mine. Is gone) they tell me as soon as they know, i know its impending for example. They apologise for it running into the night and i tell them to keep going, i can sleep on the other side of the house if need be, close my windows, wear ear plugs, whatever...so long a i know in advance, a broken nights sleep is less fun than a noisy one prepared for, but they are horrified i would accept it. But its a few nights a year, and i weather like this why on earth would i not be accomodating. By sharing plans we can all do what we need to do to minimise our impact but also to mitigate their impact.

Both of us run business from our homes, its important our environments are healthily happy...we both live and work in them, so being considerate is......normal. Life does not stop, we justtry and minimise our impact on each other.

LisaLou1982

Im with you OP - i think you did exactly the right thing. I wouldnt be in the least bit offended if my neighbours came round in a similar situation. Id be mortified to think i might have kept them awake when they are on shifts

Mrs_Imp

OP - as it's just a temporary thing, I don't think that your request is cheeky at all. If your DH was moving to night shifts more regularly, I'd expect that he's learn how to sleep through noise etc.

Once his night shifts are all over, I suggest that you do something to thank your neighbours for their understanding over the past weeks - maybe have a BBQ, or buy the child/ren a new football or something.

I have a small child, and if my neighbour did the same as you, then I'd be happy to keep the noise down for a bit, and it wouldn't have a negative impact on our relationship. What does have a negative impact is having neighbours sat in their garden making comments about your noise when they know you're out playing!! All it takes is a quiet word.

Counting_Pennies_2

antw23uk wrote: »

Ok all this isnt really for advise or a moan so if its in the wrong place then please move it. This stems from an 'interesting' conversation over lunch yesterday with my SIL.

We live in a detached property and there are three of our houses (all the same size/ layout) which make up a kind of triangle with all three gardens backing on to each other.

We are on good terms with both the people at the back and the people at the side and are very fortunate to live in such a nice area with nice neighbours.

My OH is currently working shifts thanks to the delightful Olympics which both sets of neighbours know about through general chitchat when we have seen them.

The neighbours who we dont really speak to (but get on with well) have a child who is VERY noisy .. so is the husband actually, i feel sorry for the wife sometimes having to look after both of them :rotfl:and they really enjoy spending the majority of time in their garden which apart from the noise sometimes, i think is wonderful. They are clearly really hands on parents and enjoy the outside space and seem lovely people and we are all about the same age.

The OH finished a nightshift 1900-0700 into Saturday morning so on my way to the stables i knocked on there door (this was about 0900 and they were up and about) and just said that OH had just finished a nightshift and could they just keep it quiet until about lunchtime as he desperatley needed to get some sleep? This went down fine, they said of course (I think they appreciate how noisy the kid can be and what close proximity we live in)

Now in conversation over Sunday lunch (OH falling asleep in the corner having done a Saturday nightshift as well) my SIL could not believe i was cheeky enough to knock and ask them to keep the noise down (I must stress they were not making noise at the time but as i was going out i thought i would pre empt a Saturday morning full screaming match in the garden as is usual from them ... which i dont have a problem with, lol because i wouldnt be there to dash round should they start making noise)

Was i in the wrong? Was i really cheeky?

I do have a habit of saying what most people think but dont say, thats my character but im never rude or horrible.

We get on well with our neighbours and the night shifts had been discussed in passing with them and they were happy and agreeable when i knocked and obviously kept the noise down until way past lunch time. NOTE: Our bedroom window is about 5 meters to the side from their back garden so despite the heat of Saturday the windows were closed and ceiling fan was on (thoroughly recommend getting one of them btw )

Would you have done the same or am i really wrong? :rotfl:

This thread is purely for happy people with an opinion so please dont get heavy or rude. Thanks :T

I think you were right to. Great to see relations are good

Idiophreak

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

Out of interests, just what would you do about natural noise keeping you awake at the silly hour of 10am on a Saturday morning? Shoot the birds? Blow up a distant motorway?

I suppose you have to ask yourself whether it's reasonable for you to expect silence from all others around you on a Saturday morning? It doesn't seem that reasonable to me.

I don't expect silence, at all. With my double glazing closed, I don't get bothered by outside noise very often. Likewise, my neighbours have to be slamming doors, hammering nails in or using power tools before I would be significantly bothered. I don't expect silence, I just expect people to "do unto others" a little.

masonn wrote: »

Excellent, so by your own definition of selfish you have established that your putting your own enjoyment of peace and quiet ahead of someone elses enjoyment is selfish.

I agree, that would be game over then. :T

How am I putting my enjoyment of peace and quiet ahead of their enjoyment of noise, though?

If they're noisy, it prevents me from enjoying my quiet. If I'm being quiet, how exactly am I preventing them enjoying their noise?

You clearly think you're some kind of logical gymnast and I congratulate you on your effort. You're so clever! Go you! I, meanwhile, having met a clearly superior opponent, won't bother to engage you in further sparring - I'll just carry on with my life and keep being considerate to those around me.

Mrs_Arcanum

Imagine children being woken up in the night by the noisy antics of neighbours. How would anyone cope with complaining about that?