Pre empting noisy neighbour and asking them to keep it down?

antw23uk

Ok all this isnt really for advise or a moan so if its in the wrong place then please move it. This stems from an 'interesting' conversation over lunch yesterday with my SIL.

We live in a detached property and there are three of our houses (all the same size/ layout) which make up a kind of triangle with all three gardens backing on to each other.

We are on good terms with both the people at the back and the people at the side and are very fortunate to live in such a nice area with nice neighbours.

My OH is currently working shifts thanks to the delightful Olympics which both sets of neighbours know about through general chitchat when we have seen them.

The neighbours who we dont really speak to (but get on with well) have a child who is VERY noisy .. so is the husband actually, i feel sorry for the wife sometimes having to look after both of them :rotfl:and they really enjoy spending the majority of time in their garden which apart from the noise sometimes, i think is wonderful. They are clearly really hands on parents and enjoy the outside space and seem lovely people and we are all about the same age.

The OH finished a nightshift 1900-0700 into Saturday morning so on my way to the stables i knocked on there door (this was about 0900 and they were up and about) and just said that OH had just finished a nightshift and could they just keep it quiet until about lunchtime as he desperatley needed to get some sleep? This went down fine, they said of course (I think they appreciate how noisy the kid can be and what close proximity we live in)

Now in conversation over Sunday lunch (OH falling asleep in the corner having done a Saturday nightshift as well) my SIL could not believe i was cheeky enough to knock and ask them to keep the noise down (I must stress they were not making noise at the time but as i was going out i thought i would pre empt a Saturday morning full screaming match in the garden as is usual from them ... which i dont have a problem with, lol because i wouldnt be there to dash round should they start making noise)

Was i in the wrong? Was i really cheeky?

I do have a habit of saying what most people think but dont say, thats my character but im never rude or horrible.

We get on well with our neighbours and the night shifts had been discussed in passing with them and they were happy and agreeable when i knocked and obviously kept the noise down until way past lunch time. NOTE: Our bedroom window is about 5 meters to the side from their back garden so despite the heat of Saturday the windows were closed and ceiling fan was on (thoroughly recommend getting one of them btw )

Would you have done the same or am i really wrong? :rotfl:

This thread is purely for happy people with an opinion so please dont get heavy or rude. Thanks :T

Mrs_Arcanum

Think your approach was the right one. Pre-empting a situation means you speak from a positive frame of mind rather than angry.

tea_lover

Seems fine to me. You knew (or could have a good guess from previous interaction with them) that they'd take your comments well. They probably appreciated a bit of advance warning more than one of you going round later and complaining they'd been noisy.

You all get on well, and can speak to each other about possible issues before they become problems - sounds ideal to me!

raven83

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

Think your approach was the right one. Pre-empting a situation means you speak from a positive frame of mind rather than angry.

I agree, it is better to speak before than before you are in an angry mood.
I am sure they are aware that how loud their kid can be. I do see though how your SIL would think it is cheeky, maybe she thought that the neighbours would feel a bit peeved that you was implying that they was noisy.

j.e.j.

You get on well with all your neighbours and they didn't seem to be offended when you asked them, so I don't see what the problem is, really. The alternative would have been to wait until they were making a noise and had woken your husband up, and then gone round there and asked them to be quiet. What you did was far preferable, imo

It might be cheeky or unreasonable if they felt they were never able to go into their garden for fear of waking your husband up, but as a one-off it's surely not a problem.

I don't know how people on night shifts manage, tbh. There is so much noise and racket around, much of which is beyond your control (passers-by, traffic, sirens, kids, etc). It must play havoc with their sleep.

antw23uk

Thank you both, i was so nervous writing this thread but the way my SIL reacted I really started to question myself

antw23uk

Thank you all. It's made me realise as much as i think the world of my SIL i wouldnt want her as a neighbour, :rotfl:

She said if it had been her answering the door to her neighbour she was have told them to !!!!!! off and gone out of her way to make noise! :eek: I think the few glasses of vino had gone to her head!

GobbledyGook

Obviously if your neighbours are ok with it it's fine, but I have to admit I'm with your SIL. I'd find it extremely cheeky if my neighbour came round on a Saturday morning wanting my kids kept quiet (which probably means not out in the garden) until lunchtime. It's not that often that the kids get to play out in nice weather so I'd take them out somewhere to cover a one-off occasion, but I do think that in general shift workers (although I do understand it must be difficult) need to use things like ear-plugs to deal with their shifts rather than expecting neighbours to change their weekend habits.

Idiophreak

Interesting...On the one hand, I can see where the SIL was coming from, somehow it doesn't seem right to have them change their way of life in order to accommodate your own...But, thinking about it, you do plenty of tolerating their way of life - by listening to their screaming kid for most of the time - so I think it's only fair that they give a little back. If they didn't take offence at the request, I'd say you did the right thing.

adouglasmhor

I think it was fine, I would rather have a bit of pre knowledge as I would be upset to find I had innocently woken up a tired neighbour.

antw23uk

Normally it isnt a problem. The OH is only doing shifts for the duration of the Olympics and Paralympics so all back to normal soon :j