marriage & benefits helppppp

mildred1978

midnight_express wrote: »

Just curious Mildred, why can't you have a private birth in Wales ? Aren't there any private hospitals ?

Not that do maternity, no. And I didn't want to have him in England.

Had planned a home birth, but Little Mr was too comfy and I ended up being induced, which led to a forceps delivery. You can pay for a private midwife (predominantly for home births) but the second you end up in hospital they can't treat you.

MiddyMum

Pollycat wrote: »

Why not?

What would you like to post?

And they say romance is dead...:p

This IS a potential benefit fiddle question really, because what is she actually trying to ask here? I mean, surely if you are married and your husband is in the army you would be better off without the benefits. My logic would be, get married and then sort all the finances out after as the decision to get married based on whether or not I would get housing benefit is a little strange.

I don't really understand why anyone would want to stay on benefits long term really. I think for some, they would rather not work because there would be a period of re-adjustment. i.e" I am working for the same amount I used to get for free "...but once that adjustment period is over, surely you would feel elated that you are now in control of your own destiny.

There are things you can do to improve your prospects even as a SAHM with a disabled child, for example - get yourself educated. There are plenty of distance learning courses you can do from home.

bundly

mildred1978 wrote: »

If you have a partner and you're serious enough to be considering marriage then you are not a single mother and you are committing fraud if you are declaring that you are.

Nonsense!

Simply considering marriage does not stop her from being single!

bundly

midnight_express wrote: »

I know she is a breeder because she has two kids. I know she is on benefits because she told us so. Let's face it without the kids she wouldn't have a council house and she'd be living on £55 a week JSA rather than the several hundred a week she is currently raking in. In a grossly over populated country it makes no sense having a benefit system that rewards the bone idle and unemployable when they have children.

Midnight you are exhibiting the most offensive misogyny and child hatred.

If you think that people are wrong to have children then say so, and keep off threads that involve children because clearly you are prejudiced against anyone who has them.

mynameistallulah

bundly wrote: »

Nonsense!

Simply considering marriage does not stop her from being single!

How many people do you know that have got married without being in a relationship first? People don't tend to marry strangers!

bundly

trastor wrote: »

There are three pages of messages, yet most people are only interested criticising the poster.

Why do people reply to posts when they only want to make personal comments and do not offer any advice or help??

Does it really matter if the poster only wanted to find a legitimate way round her circumstances to ensure that she maximises her benefit entitlement?
If it is legal, then there is nothing wrong - despite what others might think. They must either be jealous or have nothing else in their lives.
It's a sad sad world.

At last the voice of compassion, humanity and reason!

A lot of posters on these boards are like vultures, just logged in all day long waiting to pounce and attack anyone whose life turned out worse than theirs.

Very very sad.

bundly

mynameistallulah wrote: »

How many people do you know that have got married without being in a relationship first? People don't tend to marry strangers!

But the goverment ALLOWS people to have love or sex relationships while drawing benefits, so what is your problem?

People like you are soooo sanctimonious. You attack anyone who doesn't have a job, but how come you are always on here posting during a working day? So rich you need not work? Or stealing from your employer by writing messages on here in work time?

Pollycat

MiddyMum wrote: »

And they say romance is dead...:p

This IS a potential benefit fiddle question really, because what is she actually trying to ask here? I mean, surely if you are married and your husband is in the army you would be better off without the benefits. My logic would be, get married and then sort all the finances out after as the decision to get married based on whether or not I would get housing benefit is a little strange.

I don't really understand why anyone would want to stay on benefits long term really. I think for some, they would rather not work because there would be a period of re-adjustment. i.e" I am working for the same amount I used to get for free "...but once that adjustment period is over, surely you would feel elated that you are now in control of your own destiny.

There are things you can do to improve your prospects even as a SAHM with a disabled child, for example - get yourself educated. There are plenty of distance learning courses you can do from home.

I'm surprised to see your opinion because on another pretty similar thread you took a number of other posters to task for not being nice to the OP.

That thread was (imho) blatently asking for help to play the benefit system.
Here's the first post on that thread:

tillyabo wrote: »

Hello there, I would be grateful for some advice on moving in with my partner. We both live in London.

I am a single mum to a little girl aged 1 1/2 years and am currently on housing benefit and income support (looking for part time work). I have a partner these days and we want to move in together and get married hopefully next year, but we are worried we won't be able to afford to live together and we want to do it properly (read: all legally!).

He is also potentially in line for a council flat after having queued for years (he doesn't earn much, about £20k a year atm, and currently lives rent-free with a friend) but it is a one bedroom flat he is in line for - if he told them he wants to move in with his girlfriend / future wife who is on benefits, will he have any chance of getting a two bedroom flat - or if not, if we move in with him, will we eventually be able to upgrade to a two bedroom flat? Do I need to live in the same borough as him for this or does it make no difference at all, can he not "upgrade"?
I will get in the queue for one as well as I genuinely do not know how I will be able to afford rent with the flat prices going up and benefits going down and no part time jobs available, but I know queues are very long

However, it may still be years before he gets a flat, if ever (we don't know anything more yet). I would also be grateful for advice on what happens

1) if we get married and move in together - is there any difference compared to just living together unmarried?

2) if we move in together, what percentage of his wages will go on rent / how much housing benefit am I likely to lose? I have looked at the entitled.co.uk website but it appars to assume we already live together, I can't find a way of checking what happens if we do move in together to compare benefits.

3) Can we be married and live apart - how would this affect my benefits and rights?

Very grateful for any advice on this. I just want to live with the man I love without him having to lose most of his meagre earnings on rent as I am currently unable to contribute.

I said this to you on that thread:

Pollycat wrote: »

On this board it's not so much about being nice, it's about giving advice on benefits.

The OP is asking for advice on how she can retain her housing benefit whilst still being able to live with the man she loves (but maybe not as much as she loves her housing benefit).

I'm usually the first one to ask people not to be so nasty and judgemental of posters but in this case, I tend to agree with most of the sentiments, even though I wouldn't have posted them myself.

and this:

Pollycat wrote: »

MiddyMum
I suggest you read the OP's post again and see if you think she is asking for advice on how to work the system to keep her housing benefit.
And, if she is asking that, she really doesn't deserve people being nice to her.

I can see from some of your posts on other threads that you feel that some people who post on here are maybe not as nice as you think they should be, but I'm not sure the OP in this particular thread really deserves you sticking up for her.

So when I asked you this:

Pollycat wrote: »

Why not?

What would you like to post?

in response to this:

MiddyMum wrote: »

I dont know where to start with this thread....

I wondered if you were feeling that posters were being unfair again.

But it seems not.

I have no idea what you mean by this:

MiddyMum wrote: »

And they say romance is dead...:p

mynameistallulah

bundly wrote: »

Nonsense!

Simply considering marriage does not stop her from being single!

bundly wrote: »

But the goverment ALLOWS people to have love or sex relationships while drawing benefits, so what is your problem?

So they are not single, yes?

bundly wrote: »

People like you are soooo sanctimonious. You attack anyone who doesn't have a job, but how come you are always on here posting during a working day? So rich you need not work? Or stealing from your employer by writing messages on here in work time?

People like me do not like people that play the benefits system.

MiddyMum

Pollycat wrote: »

I'm surprised to see your opinion because on another pretty similar thread you took a number of other posters to task for not being nice to the OP.

That thread was (imho) blatently asking for help to play the benefit system.
Here's the first post on that thread:



I said this to you on that thread:


and this:



So when I asked you this:



in response to this:


I wondered if you were feeling that posters were being unfair again.

But it seems not.

I have no idea what you mean by this:

Blimey....:rotfl::rotfl: