OH's best mate looking at photos of me on PC!!

duchy

Sounds like this bloke is the OH's best friend but the OP doesn't like him TBH. He may very well be thinking of the PC as his mate's PC rather than anything to do with the OP. He could for example have seen a file called holiday and thought it might have photos of a holidayhe and the OPs husband went on for example-had a quick look-saw it wasn't -just the missus in a bikini and closed it again-Do you and he actually like each other at all OP -you talk about him as OH's friend only ?

Frankly if you leave people alone in your house with access to your PC there's a chance they may snoop (or have a curious look depending on your viewpoint). I wouldn't leave my bank statements out where a casual visitor could read them and that for me means all my devices are passworded and if it's such a big deal to the OP I don't understand why she didn't just PW the PC last time (It's hardly rocket science to google "password protect windows 7").

I'm assuming you are very young as you seem to think forty is old and I think with a few more year's life experience you'd probably regard it as a life lesson that people can be nosy and to keep locked away stuff you don't want them seeing if you are leaving them alone in your home.

pimento

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

What if it was private pictures of your teenager or child?

Genuine question. What kind of pictures would these be? I'm honestly interested.

There's an awful lot of pearl clutching going on here.

mrs_sparrow

pimento wrote: »

Genuine question. What kind of pictures would these be? I'm honestly interested.

There's an awful lot of pearl clutching going on here.

They would be pictures I did not want other people to see and that is why they would be on my computer and not out on display. MY family, MY memories. Pictures when I have just given birth for example as I had my son at home - my friend has pictures from when she is giving birth. I'd not dream of going round and looking through her PC to have a look at those. Are you saying that I should be able to unless she has them password protected???

I've got pics of my kids with no clothes on - in the paddling pool and in the bath - and they would be on the computer. Would it be acceptable for a guest in my house to be having an look through those? Absolutely no way. And if my daughter was in our private garden in a bikini then I'd not have those on display either.

I would find it a GROSS invasion of MY family's privacy on MY home PERSONAL computer if I found someone was looking at them - and it is absolutely unacceptable that someone else be looking through my private things uninvited!!

mrs_sparrow

The whole thread comes down to Trust.

I trust that the people who come into my house will not go looking through my personal things, the people who I leave my house with while away would not dream of doing these things - and if I found they did I would no longer have time for them, be them friends or family, they would have breached that trust and I would no longer have time for people like that abused this trust.

The OP does not trust her OH friend. And with good reason.

Thankfully, I have many people in my life that I trust with my things - however, there seems to be quite a few people on here that have no respect for other peoples personal things or memories and they think that they have a right to go and look through them uninvited unless they are locked in a box somewhere. And that is disgusting, shameful behaviour.

pimento

If the OP is so precious about her snaps, she should encrypt her data in any case. What if she's burgled?

Ironically, in that case, your photographs are safer in a shoe box in the wardrobe than online. I doubt a burglar would steal your bikini shots over your xBox.

pimento

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

What this is all about is trust.

I trust that the people who come into my house will not go looking through my things, the people who I leave my house with while away would not dream of doing these things - and if I found they did I would no longer have time for them, be them friends or family, they would have overstepped the mark and I would no longer trust them. I have no time for people I do not trust, I have other people I can be giving my time to.

The OP does not trust her OH friend. And with good reason.

Were your lips pursed as you typed that?

Welshwoofs

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

Out of curiosity for those who think it is OK - would opening her mail before she gets home be acceptable? What about going through her drawers, clothing, personal possessions or belongs? I am genuinely intrigued as to whether you think this is acceptable behaviour from a guest in your home and if not, why it differs from him looking at pictures of her on her computer.

Just to make it clear...there's a big difference between thinking it's OK and going into a "OMGZ!!!!! Perhaps he's a pervert!!!!!! What if there was a photo of a CHILD on there...OMMMMMGGGZZZZ !!!!" type knee-jerk panic and moral outrage.

No, it's not OK that he snooped on their photos - but the facts as the Op has presented them is that this guy is a lifelong friend of her husband. So given he's a lifelong friend it'd be a little more prudent to deal with the situation calmly and in proportion rather than freak the hell out and possibly ending up in a situation where the husband feels he has to dump a lifelong friend in order to appease his wife and the whole thing spirals into a much bigger situation. I'd also mention that if the friend has been around a lot longer than the wife, then the perhaps the wife would do well to check on what the prior convention between the two was...perhaps they always have treated each other's computers as 'open house' long before she came along?

Regardless, presumably they're adults. How hard is it to either a) just quietly password the ruddy files or stick them on a USB stick so that they know he won't find them again or b) simply TELL the ruddy bloke that they're not comfortable with him using the computer without asking.

I guess that those people would be more than happy to do this themselves which just shows you have no manners or respect for other peoples personal things and that, in itself, is pretty disgusting tbh.

So - because some people aren't freaking out to your satisfaction you go on to assume that they would snoop through other people's stuff? Now in my book, jumping to the conclusion you just have is as bad as snooping into other people's belongings.

mrs_sparrow

Because he should not be looking.

I did not tell her to freak out, I told her to take the keyboard away without telling the bloke anything. How is that freaking out. He looked at something uninvited so then he'll not be able to.

mrs_sparrow

Welshwoofs wrote: »

So - because some people aren't freaking out to your satisfaction you go on to assume that they would snoop through other people's stuff? Now in my book, jumping to the conclusion you just have is as bad as snooping into other people's belongings.

Yes. Look at any opinion you have, if you have no issue with it, it is usually because you would do/think the same thing yourself.

mrs_sparrow

pimento wrote: »

Were your lips pursed as you typed that?

Yes, hysterical isn't it. Having your privacy violated by so called 'friends'.