OH's best mate looking at photos of me on PC!!

Welshwoofs

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

What next.... is she asking to be touched because she wore the wrong kind of clothing around him and he clearly has some weird crush on her?

You're going over the top again...

You should not have to password protect or lock things away when you have friends visit. Friends should respect your things and not go nosing through your stuff. Where do you draw the line?

I have personal files passworded on my computer and I use encryption even when the only people ever left alone in my house are people who I wouldn't mind looking at the contents anyway. Why? Because all it takes is an unsecure router or a new exploit on your computer and someone poking around remotely for those exploits. I've seen IRC channels with over 10,000 bots sitting in them...each representing a compromised home computer.

The fact is, whether or not you have anyone who'd snoop through your files at home, you do have to secure your computer anyway from outside threats!

She is clearly asking in the OP the best way to deal with it and she did not want to ruin any friendship, however, it should not have happened because friends do not go nosing through other peoples photos/clothing/possessions/paperwork without being invited or asking.

The op makes no mention of the man looking through their clothing or paperwork, she only mentions photos on the computer. Again, all it takes is a chat with him.

And it said 'best friend' not 'lifelong friend', I've been with my husband 10 years more than he has known his best friend - hard not to make assumptions, isn't it?

Except it wasn't an assumption...she said lifelong friend here:

"Its his life long mate."
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=54857339&postcount=20

sunshinetours

Its intrusive end of - ridiculous discussion to be frank.

The guy has been nosey and been caught out - nothing else is really relevant. just because you can do something doesn't mean you should

Mojisola

raven83 wrote: »

That's what I find surprising too, that people don't seem to think there is anything wrong with someone looking through your laptop. I have my own laptop but it isn't password protected because I don't feel the need, but if someone was staying in my house and decided to go through my laptop without me being there I would really pee'd off! I have no problem with people using my lappy to check things like Facebook/emails/etc but to actually sit there and go through my pics/files (unless a really good friend) while I wasn't there I wouldn't be best pleased.

The files on a computer are private in the same way that what's in our drawers and cupboards is private. Friends and relatives are welcome to use our computer, as raven says, for Facebook, emails and general googling. I don't expect them to open my files.

If I came home and found that someone had been going through all our belongings, I wouldn't leave them in the house alone again.

If OH's friend had made me uncomfortable by looking through my files, I'd have made sure he couldn't do it again using passwords.

onlyroz

In general it's a good idea to password protect your computer, if only to protect your bank details if somebody breaks into your house.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

so everyone has said use file encryption etc etc, as if its the OP's fault that he went snooping around.

this person is a guest in the home of a friend, if i was such guest i would not take it upon myself to go through their OC laptop or anything else that is personal, i would gladly wash up, i would gladly run the hoover over, plump the cushions, let the dog out for a pee, clean the cat litter out because as a guest i would be greatfull for the room to sleep in and the food on the table to eat and the drink i drank.

not at the first opertunity go through personal files on a PC, i would ask permission to go on the internet and check any mail my profile or do some reading on the net about something im interested in, i would not go into document, files folder pictures video's.

it all boils down to respect for others and thier property, clearly wich this person doesnt have for his mate and OH.

if it had been me, i would have said next time you use the PC ask me first, because i would have been able to say to you that you can use it only to go on your own things and not through mine, ask next time please and not take it upon yourself to go into my pc and start snooping in it.

to say to the OP oh well you should have password protected it, says that you would do the same as this intrusive bloke because its her fault she had no password for logging on!.

Welshwoofs

I'm just going to cut this entire thread down to bullet points as I'm starting to get bored.

1. Lifelong friend of husband looked at shots of wife in bikini on their PC whilst they were out. That was impolite and wrong.

2. Situation above is best dealt with by actually talking to said bloke and telling him that you'd prefer he doesn't look at the PC without permission.

3. Given said bloke is 'lifelong mate' of husband, it's probably best to do #2 calmly (particularly as last time husband said he'd wished wife hadn't told him) so that it doesn't end up a shouting match and the friendship gets damaged

4. It's a good idea to password any sensitive files on a computer not because of the risk of nosy friends, but because of the risk of unauthorised access. Keeping stuff like financial details, CC/bank passwords unencrypted on your computer is particularly unwise.

bedpotato_2

Welshwoofs wrote: »

it's probably best to do #2 calmly

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

:T

loracan1

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

The whole thread comes down to Trust.

I trust that the people who come into my house will not go looking through my personal things, the people who I leave my house with while away would not dream of doing these things - and if I found they did I would no longer have time for them, be them friends or family, they would have breached that trust and I would no longer have time for people like that abused this trust.

The OP does not trust her OH friend. And with good reason.

Thankfully, I have many people in my life that I trust with my things - however, there seems to be quite a few people on here that have no respect for other peoples personal things or memories and they think that they have a right to go and look through them uninvited unless they are locked in a box somewhere. And that is disgusting, shameful behaviour.

She didn't trust him so much that she, after previous experience of 'friend' looking at bikini* pictures...then left yet more bikini pictures at his disposal, without bothering to put the most basic password encryption on the pc.

Yes it is intrusive, but I think most people would've taken steps after the previous occasion.

*they might have been bikini pictures, they might not have been.

Barneysmom

If someone looked at private stuff of mine I would go mad - never mind upsetting the person or my hubby!

Why did the hubby say he wished op hadn't told him, I find that odd like he was defending his mate against his wife? So what if they've been mates for may years, the mate should have more respect.

It's weird for a bloke to eyeball his best mate's wife. It's so wrong.

You don't have to pu55yfoot round people in your own house.


Op, just say out loud 'Why are you looking at photos of me?' see him red up!

When my nephews read my emails I made sure in no uncertain terms that they knew my stuff is private.

No. I'd be having none of it.

That being said, private stuff should have a decent password.

rita-rabbit

Manners & consideration lacking in my opinion. Over relaxed attitudes by `friends' is not on:

"this person is a guest in the home of a friend, if i was such guest i would not take it upon myself to go through their OC laptop or anything else that is personal, i would gladly wash up, i would gladly run the hoover over, plump the cushions, let the dog out for a pee, clean the cat litter out because as a guest i would be greatfull for the room to sleep in and the food on the table to eat and the drink i drank.

not at the first opertunity go through personal files on a PC, i would ask permission to go on the internet and check any mail my profile or do some reading on the net about something im interested in, i would not go into document, files folder pictures video's.

it all boils down to respect for others and thier property, clearly wich this person doesnt have for his mate and OH."