Offended by cash request

chojinfire

My fianc!e and I were discussing this and we might well ask for cash instead of a wedding list.
We don't need any things having lived together for a while, but a wedding is an expensive affair and money towards the wedding/honeymoon/our future is going to be way more useful to us than towels or champagne.
That being said, it will be made very clear that it is totally optional. I'd rather friends and family came empty handed than felt uncomfortable with giving a gift.

liam8282

I don't see the problem with giving money. It saves the hassle of having to go shopping to buy a present.

It isn't very nice to have a blatant request for money as a gift, I remember at my cousins wedding they had one of those little poems which basically said we have already got everything that you would normally get as a gift, so cash if possible, which I thought was a bit nicer.

stir_crazy

We haven't said anything about gifts on our invitations. We don't have a gift list, and when anybody has asked what we would like, we've said that we would prefer money, but any gift would be gratefully received.

jtr2803

liam8282 wrote: »

I don't see the problem with giving money. It saves the hassle of having to go shopping to buy a present.

It isn't very nice to have a blatant request for money as a gift, I remember at my cousins wedding they had one of those little poems which basically said we have already got everything that you would normally get as a gift, so cash if possible, which I thought was a bit nicer.

See, I hate these with an absolute passion, it's so generic and impersonal.

Just an observation but it seems to be men who like the direct approach and mostly women that dont?

McKneff

I'm from the days when you kept quiet about wedding present etc and ended up with 5 toasters, 3 kettles and umpteen towels.

Nowadays a lot of couples live together and have a 'set up home' already so I really wouldnt have a problem giving cash, othewise it would be something different to the toasters etc. like a meal out in a restaurant or something similar.
I wonder what the % is of people getting married who already live together is.

somethingcorporate

Get what you want for them. We asked for donations for the honeymoon which was great since we had been living together (in sin) for years and already had a house set up.

Our best and most memorable presents this many years on (only 3!) were the personal gifts and experiences. Most notably afternoon tea at the Ritz which a number of friends clubbed together to buy and a painting that one of our friends did of one of our holiday photos. Compared to the cash some people gave us they were quite modest in cost by comparison but the personal touch is really what makes you think people care.

Faith177

I hate this idea have done for years and agree with you OP don't have it don't do it.

I have told people I don't care what they get us as I know must people will have high travel expenses ect.

If I get 100 towels I get 100 towels they will all get used eventually but at least the people we care about were there to give me them

marleyboy

This is quite common nowadays and the request is sensible in place of gifts, its a safe way to ensure people don't get the same gifts, nobody would have a use for two toasters for example, resulting in deciding who's toaster should be kept . Remember it is not a condition or order. You are no more forced to give them money as you are to get them a gift.

Giving cash does not need to go in a labelled envelope, usually the envelope remains anonymous, which is normally the case with gifts, so there is no risk of who offered more than whom.

byjimini

Looks like they're just getting married so they can have a cushy holiday, funded by their friends.

We had the same thing years ago when they'd lived together for 12 years, then decided they wanted an extension. So they announced they were getting married and wanted cash towards it.

We just sent a card and left it at that, greedy sods.

picklepick

byjimini wrote: »

Looks like they're just getting married so they can have a cushy holiday, funded by their friends.

You've gotta be !!!!ing kidding?!