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burnoutbabe

rent the house out and rent somewhere together?

though he doesn't sound like a keeper (for you) if he has no job, no savings and you sound very money sassy.

jayII

xoxo2012 wrote: »

In response to your appreciated advice -

He viewed every property with me - i purchased the house he said he wanted.

He came to the bank with me the solicitors - his name is on the house insurance everything, bar the physical name on the paperwork we did everything together.

When it came to the point to purchase a property he had no money to deposit on a house, he had no regular income or credit rating given his on off job status, he didn't wish to join accounts and such things. He solely wished to own half but had nothing to offer to contribute -

He said he was happy for me to purchase a house we had both chosen etc only now i have done so he is saying all of this. If i had no money to contribute and he purchased i wouldn't expect to be an owner, i would however be happy having a home with my partner and in the future look to making it a joint thing.

It sounds like he is jealous of the money you've worked so hard for and is throwing his dummy out of the pram because you didn't make him a joint owner.

Warning bells are ringing loud and clear!!!

As for not contributing, that sounds like an easy excuse to justify living rent and bill free at your expense.

You need to do some very serious thinking about this relationship and make very sure you protect yourself financially. He is presumably a normal, fit and healthy adult who could look for jobs, work hard and save to make himself financially secure. Don't let him take what you've worked for.

xoxo2012

Thank you for the advice everyone!

It may sounds very me me me and I I I however that is all i am hearing from him right now when its far from the truth....

He played a part in the purchase of it right from the start and never said a word. He makes the decisions about everything in the relationship and everything in the house. However its not selfish of me i don't think to be the owner when he couldn't contribute - all be it i understand his feelings of no security.... but id be a mug to put all my money into a house for us with no help and hand him the right to half of all of it, if he paid for half the fair enough. Maybe that makes me selfish i don't know but to me its simply me looking after what i worked for. The offer to jointly purchase was there from the start.

Everything in the house was chosen by him - as long as i had what i thought was a home for us i left everything to him - he was the one who decided what house would be the purchased one.

I don't see how much more input he could have wanted.

xoxo2012

My relationship has always came first from the start - i just don't understand how i can now make this work... there understanding how he feels and then there's him expecting me to sell a property in ten minutes flat after only just buying it .... when he wanted it up until the point we picked up the keys.

I dont constantly refer to it as mine with family or friends or him its always ours and he has had more say in it than i have i simply stumped up the cash and signed the papers.

Its very difficult to see what i can do right here....

And i am only 21 yes but with my career and my life Ive grown up fast and i wish to have a future with my partner...Ive tried for nothing less from the start.

I feel if i sign it over to him without any contribution i am letting myself in for a big mistake - i wouldn't let him sign me as an owner if i hadn't paid my way.

Dunroamin

It sounds to me as if he's trying to make you put him on the deeds so that you're effectively giving him half a property to which he's made neither a practical or financial contribution.

I think you'd be mad to do this so I suggest that he moves out and you go back to a dating rather than living together relationship and keep an eye on his reaction. I think that, when he realises you're no fool, you won't see him for dust!

burnoutbabe

he is childish if he can't understand he can't say its all okay and change his mind 2 minutes later and expect you just to sell.

He could go on the mortgage IF he had a job agreed to pay half AND agreed if sold, the first £x would go back to you for your deposit. But he doesn't sound like that would happen at all.

So very unequal financial positions. Renting this place out and renting something simple together is probably only way this could work. I can't see any problems doing that. keep the house as an investment.

whitewing

I agree with keep the house and rent somewhere else.

I think he is being selfish, but I also think it is male pride too and I think the latter will be a significant factor until he has more life experience.

I would absolutely hate to live in a house that was owned completely by the person I was in a relationship with, however kind and generous they are.

He is quite clear that he wants the relationship to carry on. I think you have to give him credit about stating how he feels. I can see how he may have got swept up into it all, and I think perhaps he can't help how he feels about it at the moment. I suspect he will get more oomph when he feels that he can contribute to the 'us' more. He has taken quite a risk in telling you how he feels.

Mojisola

xoxo2012 wrote: »

I feel if i sign it over to him without any contribution i am letting myself in for a big mistake - i wouldn't let him sign me as an owner if i hadn't paid my way.

I agree with you.

He's made all the decisions - you've paid for everything.

That's not a healthy situation.

billa_champion

I agree with JayII - I think he's put out that he has no money/job/property and you've bought a property already. I think its a 'macho' thing for him. I would seriously reconsider putting him on the deeds unless he gets a job and contributes financially. Even then, it seems that you'd have put the majority of the money down (deposit, solicitors fees, stamp duty). OP, I'd tread very carefully on this one.

gibson123

I don't think there is a future in this relationship. I think you are too emotionally mature and ambitious for him. if you want to work at this relationship, you need to slow down, rent out the property, keep it as an investment just for you. Keep your finances separate. Now rent together as equal partners and go out and have some fun. You are 21, and assuming he is around your age, this all feels a little too soon for these types of responsibilities.