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Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

Originally Posted by xoxo2012
Im in the military

In that case, you shouldn't have any problem finding a couple of intimidating mates to stay for a couple of days while he clears his stuff out and then change the locks!

I was wondering whether they'd let her bring a gun home!:D

Jinx

Dunroamin wrote: »

I was wondering whether they'd let her bring a gun home!:D

Get the glasshouse for that one!

jenhug

go to the DIY shop and buy a new door lock.
wait til he is out, and change the lock.

Bag his stuff up and leave it outside.

Job done.

mrs_sparrow

Going back to what I posted. He sounds like a complete selfish kn*b. Can't discuss what money he was while he ponces off you a 21 year old girl? And not being able to discuss why he moved is a worry and I'd say there is either issues with the police or debt collectors.

Get him out and change the locks.

What a pathetic loser, he will 'put up with it' even thought he hates the house! Please! He can feel his meal ticket slipping out of his hands. OP, he has been using you, please please do not let this go on any longer. You are only 21 and relationships will come and go. I think that you will find that although you say you love him, in a few months time you'll sit there thinking !!!!!! was I doing with him as he is a complete tw*t and why did I let him do that to me. I think it is pretty rare that we do not get into our twenties having dated someone who is a loser but who, at the time, think our life could not go on without them and we turn them into some sort of demi-god that we will do everything for. But then everything is still not enough and they want more and more. His other girlfriends have clearly seen the light, now it is your turn. Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed, we have not failed at anything but these experiences make us who we are and makes us see in the early days what is, or is not, acceptable from other people in life. The difference in your case is that you have bought a property out of it - which you have to look on as a positive thing, you have something for the future.

Good luck with things, yes it will hurt for a little while but you only saw him at the weekends anyway and at least you are not going to spend the weekends slaving for him and spending your days trying to please him. What an a*rse he is.

elona

Just had a horrible thought. Can you check your credit rating, bank statements and credit cards?

Don't know if it is possible to check his credit rating but I am worried he is running up credit and ordering stuff at your address or trying to borrow money using your house as collateral.

If you are away most of the time you would not see letters or demands for payment arriving. It would be bad enough to be in a house that someone else chose and you were paying everything for and then missing them - but if you then had bailifs and debt collectors at the door and found out there were charges against the house :eek:

duchy

OP Have you talked with any of your friends about this -or has he eased them out ?

You're twenty one-whether single or in a relationship weekends should be about going out and having fun not staying in or food shopping or doing housework (You haven't said so but I bet you do the lion's share of housework when you're home and he does none or the bare minimum in the week).

Please, please take your life back -find a reliable lodger to free up some of your money for home improvements if you want to but please stop giving room and board for free to this leech !

mrs_sparrow

A lodger would also keep the house 'safe' from him coming and going when she is not there so would not be a bad idea. Is there anyone at work that would like to rent a room from you?

BitterAndTwisted

elona wrote: »

Just had a horrible thought. Can you check your credit rating, bank statements and credit cards?

Don't know if it is possible to check his credit rating but I am worried he is running up credit and ordering stuff at your address or trying to borrow money using your house as collateral.

If you are away most of the time you would not see letters or demands for payment arriving. It would be bad enough to be in a house that someone else chose and you were paying everything for and then missing them - but if you then had bailiffs and debt collectors at the door and found out there were charges against the house :eek:

It's not possible to run debts up and use a property as security for them if you don't own it. The only danger is if the OP and this loser have a joint bank-account or other joint financial products like loans.

I think the OP has quite enough to worry about without adding to them unnecessarily.

downsizer3

It sounds to me almost a control issue - he likes to control everything - and it won't stop here I'm sure.
It reads as if you are coming to a decision yourself - and looking from the outside I'd say its the right one - you're better away from him. Where would it stop - once he dictated where and how you live - whats next? Your career, friends? No - you decided on that house together and he's acting like a child.
Bin 'im!!

FatVonD

My take is that he can't afford to contribute but doesn't want to lose face by saying that so has engineered the whole 'hating the house' thing to give him an excuse not to contribute.

He sounds a bit of a fantasist to me, maybe he had he convinced himself he would be able to contribute then was brought back to earth with a thump. My guess is he was thrown out of the last flat for non payment too.