Is this assault?

Lotus-eater

peachyprice wrote: »

This really does ring alarm bells.

Her erratic, aggitated behaviour, followed by all sweetness and light after going out by themselves? I would put money on them going out to score.

I was thinking the same thing, or the girl anyway.

thatgirlsam

I'm sorry to read that Freyasmum. No-one should be treated like that.

At least your little one had you, a non violent person. I feel worried for the child in the OP's story.

Mrs.W_2

OP, as one of the most influential people in your son's life, why are you still making excuses for him? Why do you make allowances for his awful behaviour? To continue to do so isn't love, it's cowardice.

add; Flame me as you wish, but I heard exactly the same tone from the mother of my younger sister's nasty ex when my sister decided to fight back. Oh, and she didn't do anything physical to him. She simply planted a crow bar into the middle of the bonnet of his beloved car.

raven83

OP, if I was you I would be extremely concerned for your grandchild, having 2 loose cannons as parents. I just don't get the impression from the tone of your post you are and this is all about your son. What about the innocent helpless life that is in the centre of all this?

gravitytolls

Mrs.W wrote: »

OP, as one of the most influential people in your son's life, why are you still making excuses for him? Why do you make allowances for his awful behaviour? To continue to do so isn't love, it's cowardice.

add; Flame me as you wish, but I heard exactly the same tone from the mother of my younger sister's nasty ex when my sister decided to fight back. Oh, and she didn't do anything physical to him. She simply planted a crow bar into the middle of the bonnet of his beloved car.

Because mother's also see the good in their children, as well as that which they know they need to help them change. We come here to ask advice, confirm what we already know etc., but because none of you know our children, we don't want you to judge them and think too badly of them, because you've not had the chance to see the goodness that resides within them.

OP, I don't judge you for trying to defend your son, I don't blame you for almost blaming the GF for his problems, as she clearly has issues herself. It's perfectly natural, you've spent your life protecting and defending your child, you will continue to do so.

However, you know his behaviour is unreasonable, you know he is violent and aggressive, and if he can behave thus in public, how much worse could he be in private?

Look, he's a grown man, the GF is a grown woman, the baby is innocent and vulnerable, and your duty of care must primarily be him.

You spoke to a friend who is a SW. It is nonsense that they can do nothing about the GF in a different county, they can contact the relevent agency with details and she can be visited at home and hopefully the support she needs put into place.

I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not judging you, it's so easy to know what's right when you're outside the situation, but when it's your flesh and blood nothing is clear.

big5

OP, a few years ago my brother was having terrible mood swings and getting insanely angry (punching walls, smashing stuff, etc) over stupid little things. He was diagnosed with a food intolerance and with a few small changes to his diet he's like a different person. If your son goes to his GP about his anger issues, it might be worth checking this out.

euronorris

robpw2 wrote: »

if you hugged me i would not be very happy at all because i don't know you
anything can be assualt when it is not called for /required ,

for example its ok to hit someone in a boxing match but hititng someon outside the match is not ok

in this case a 20 year old took it on him self to punish his older brother thats not acceptable

How is tapping someone's arm, and pointing out that they shouldn't use their fingers a punishment??? Seriously? It isn't.

In your eyes, I'm guilty of assaulting the guy next to me on the plane last week. I tapped him on the arm gently, to get his attention so that the air steward could offer him a drink and a snack. Thankfully, he had far more sense than to consider it assault.

Mrs.W_2

gravitytolls wrote: »

Because mother's also see the good in their children, as well as that which they know they need to help them change. We come here to ask advice, confirm what we already know etc., but because none of you know our children, we don't want you to judge them and think too badly of them, because you've not had the chance to see the goodness that resides within them.

OP, I don't judge you for trying to defend your son, I don't blame you for almost blaming the GF for his problems, as she clearly has issues herself. It's perfectly natural, you've spent your life protecting and defending your child, you will continue to do so.

However, you know his behaviour is unreasonable, you know he is violent and aggressive, and if he can behave thus in public, how much worse could he be in private?

Look, he's a grown man, the GF is a grown woman, the baby is innocent and vulnerable, and your duty of care must primarily be him.

You spoke to a friend who is a SW. It is nonsense that they can do nothing about the GF in a different county, they can contact the relevent agency with details and she can be visited at home and hopefully the support she needs put into place.

I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not judging you, it's so easy to know what's right when you're outside the situation, but when it's your flesh and blood nothing is clear.

You are quite right, Gravity. And I apologise for taking such a negative tone with the OP. (Posting when in a bad mood just isn't on!)

There is help to be had for such sitautions, as listed by many other posters here. I sincerely hope the OP, her son and his partner can help themselves to break free from his behavioural problems that might well end up influencing the OP's grandchild life.

bedpotato_2

big5 wrote: »

OP, a few years ago my brother was having terrible mood swings and getting insanely angry (punching walls, smashing stuff, etc) over stupid little things. He was diagnosed with a food intolerance and with a few small changes to his diet he's like a different person. If your son goes to his GP about his anger issues, it might be worth checking this out.

Being hypoglycaemic can also cause tantrums and extreme irritation, so that's another possible medical cause - although it sounds more likely that it's down to personality and the OP's son just has a foul temper.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

trouble is that if the police are called every so often with domestic desputes or violence and young children in the house social services refurals go in from the police if they feel he would be a danger to your youngest one.

sounds to me as if he has somesort of personality disorder, this isnt normal behaviour for an adult, possibly could be having some phsycotic episodes or it could possibly be a recreational drug after effect. not body building is he anabolic steroids cause mood swings and violent behaviour?
to be honest i think its more of a mental health condition as he seems to have had these outbursts quite often from a young age.

i would have a calm chat with him in a quiet enviroment with no raised voices, and ask him what he feels when he is in these anger outbursts and what he remembers, infact i would have the chat when no one is listening or can cut in with their opinions.

your husband is quite right to not involve himself with these outbursts, it can make the situation worse im not sure and forgive me but i cant remeber if you separated from his biodad or not if you have then your now husband would not want to involve himself in a situation where by he could be put in the fireing line of your sons fist and aggrevate the situation more your son is an adult not a 14 year old going through pubic changes and teenage anger issues.
as i was saying it maybe beneficial to you, his siblings, and your relationship with your husband if you can get him to agree to a doctors appointment with you in attendance, explain to the doc and take no BS that theres and underlying problem with a him having these outbursts, and see if you can get the doc to refure him to MH services in your area.