Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

kj*daisy

Mojisola wrote: »

There are parents who have money to spare and actually enjoy seeing their children benefiting from some extra money. They won't be around to see their children spending an inheritance.

That's where my parents are, they are finally OK for money for various reasons and want to give us a gift.
They have never needed to bail me out, and for many years couldn't afford to anyway. But they have helped with a roof over my head when needed and some help for my wedding. they wouldn't bail any of us out for debt as they think it just removes responsibility from that person. But they will help with emergencies now as they see we are all doing the best we can with our incomes and circumstances.

southoftheriver

I was brought up in a single parent family and there was never any spare money really so i've always supported myself. I won't get a house deposit or an inheritance, but I have been taught to be very self sufficient which I am grateful for! After 7 years at uni I am finally working and am very careful with money. Nothing that I have is top of the range or fancy, but its all mine and I worked for all of it.

Thats not to insult people who do get parental support. My children will have more support than I could have ever dreamed of and i'm glad of that. I will remind them though that you need to work hard to get ahead. I got my first job when I was thirteen and have worked every year since then.

NewKittenHelp

Luckyducky wrote: »

I'm living my life and planning my finances so that I wont have to and so far I have not had to take money from anyone.

Inheritance is what you get when your parents pass away. A hand out is what you get when they are still alive.

And FYI I was not talking about people who have used an inheritance. I was talking about people who take hand outs to supplement their lifestyle.

Do the wishes of the people giving the money count for nothing then? Is it just money, or is it also other ways that adult children have their lifestyles supplemented? To give you an example, say if the parents own a holiday home and allow their adult children to use it without charging them full rate, that's a lifestyle supplement, so presumably you also look down in disgust at those people?

There's no real difference between what you describe as a handout and an inheritance. You've not earned any of it, so please don't put yourself under the impression that the death of a relative makes you more deserving than if they were alive.

I find it a bit rich that you took money from your parents in the guise of alleged Chinese tradition but then insult others who have done the same. Hiding behind this claimed tradition while insulting others who have done exactly the same as you, does not make you a better person, it makes you hypocritical. It also seems to suggest jealousy too as the only real difference in your situation and the people you judge, is the monetary amount.

Luckyducky_2

"Grown up's Whose Parents Support Them..."

That is the question here. Getting $100,000 to buy the house you are living in I think counts to support. I guess you could call it a gift if you want to, but $100,000 sure could buy a lot more and support me longer than $300. Hypocritical?? Did I say I disagreed will ALL people who took money? It's all about how much it is and what it is used for.

Do you think the monetary amount isn't the whole key to this discussion? Would people be on this forum discussing uni fees, mortgage repayments and rent if it wasn't a substantial amount?

The feelings of the person giving it do count. But are you saying that giving a lump of money is the only way they can feel happy. And if you really didn't want to take it, would they shove it down your throat and force you to use it?

Oh I am definitely, 100% jealous. If only I could be given $100,000 from my parent's hard earned money. Life would be easier but my parents have lived to this day with no help and so will I. That is the lesson I have learned and looking at some of the comments from parents who still have problems supporting their children, it is a lesson they need to learn too.

There is no Bank of Mum and Dad. There is no Safety Net.

Person_one

Luckyducky wrote: »

There is no Bank of Mum and Dad. There is no Safety Net.

What if they ever need help from you?

Mojisola

Luckyducky wrote: »

The feelings of the person giving it do count. But are you saying that giving a lump of money is the only way they can feel happy.

No.

And if you really didn't want to take it, would they shove it down your throat and force you to use it?

Of course not! What a strange idea of family you have.

If parents want to offer money to adult children or grandchildren so that they can do things they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford, that's their right - it's their money. If they would get more pleasure from seeing it spent by their descendants rather than - for example, going on expensive holidays - that's their choice.

If their descendants chose not to accept it, that's their right.

Goldenfool

My folks have helped out on our mortgage - they've given us a loan to help out with the deposit, with monthly repayments and an interest rate that tracks an average between the BOE base rate and the best ISA rate I can find that month.

They're also helping out with our wedding next May, probably paying about 20% of costs as a wedding present.

ms_london

My parents have no money as a result of bringing up three children (us) on low paid salaries.. I paid off my mums credit card last year and would like to be in a position to help a bit more, as I am sure they would like to help us out, but all of us are self sufficient so it's not something I've ever thought about. I do get the odd bag of groceries or little bits bought for me, or even a dinner cooked, and i do the same in return. I'm happy with this and don't feel as though I am hard done by... I probably did as a child but you live and learn. I would like them to be comfortable and not have to stress about finances, but they are taking tips from me and the knowledge I have learnt from MSE!

ms_london

Luckyducky wrote: »

There is no Bank of Mum and Dad. There is no Safety Net.

Completely agree with it being a safety net - I imagine a few weddings and house purchases would have been postponed had this not been the case.

an9i77

I was very lucky recently to get some help from my parents. I had a serious eye condition and could not see out of one eye. Our dear old NHS didn't think it was an urgent problem - hey I was still breathing! but not wanting to be blind in one eye for months on end with damage still being done I took the option to go private and have it operated on. This cost £6k which I didn't have so I paid half and my parents paid half. This is definitely the kind of thing the bank of mum and dad was designed for!