Spill the beans... on grown-ups whose parents support them

Janjani

I cannot see future generations being 'helped out'
so much as they are today, it's obvious that the baby boomers
Have had the cream and that's fine, but with the way they are
having to 'finance' their adult children today leaves only beggars belief
that they in turn can/will do the same for the next generations.
How can it be possible anyway with anyone rarely being offered a
Mortgage or ever being given sensible saving interest rates?
Once it's gone it's gone!
There are a lot of decent caring people out there who have had past help and have turned it around which is great, but unfortunately the greedy ones ruin it for everyone!

Jinx

I am surprised my daughter hasnt posted on this thread as I know she has read it as she was telling me about it! So I'll 'out' her lol

Adult daughter now 20, has just returned from 2 years at Uni in London (we're in Scotland), she got cash each week to pay for her food and cash each month to cover her utility bills and part of her mobile phone bill while she worked part time to cover the rent. Oh and she got her flat deposit and tube yearly travel cards paid for. Also the odd basket of shopping or askidental expenses 'muuuumm can I borrow.....' etc

Now back living at home she is temping and not yet paying digs, this will start when she starts her new job in a few weeks. Also bought her a runaround to get to work which is on an 'iou' spreadsheet. Variable income brings a few hiccups so petrol etc has been gifted.

While hubby and I have been happy to help, at nearly 21 we are hoping that life is on track for her and that she will be self-sufficient. She does plan to move out asap so she will need to save for that one

ETA we work on the finances between the 3 of us, its not a case of daughter expecting anything as such, she hates to ask for money! lol

TheConways

Really interesting thread. In my family, it is my grandfather (93) who is the giver - be it sticking 10pounds in my hand when I visit (I'm 29!), or paying for a flight for mum to visit (my parents are on another continent).

I'm an only child, and my parents are not rich people but not breadline.. I've always been too proud to ask for help, even when I was really struggling after graduation. Now i'm married, and earn a lot more - i can afford to take them on holiday, we paid for our own wedding etc etc.

My husband never receives help from his family - he is like me with money, conservative, and wanting to stand on his own two feet. His grandparents recently lent money to his uncle (their son) - 40k at the age of 40 to buy a house after two failed marriages. We find that pretty shocking that anyone would ask, never mind offer to give that sort of sum.

At Uni, some friends worked their way through Uni, but many female friends received sizeable monthly allowances. I borrowed the max student loan and budgetted carefully, to the extent that I get shocked when I hear about students buying new clothes, wasting money on a takeaway, or having a contract mobile phone, when I had British Red Cross, the local market, and a PAYG special offer to keep me going.

Definitely think about the message you send your children when you bail them out! No parent wants to see their child go without, but equally, they need to be able to learn to manage money.

caeler

Nothing anymore, I'm completely independant. I borrowed money for a deposit on my first home 10 years ago but I paid every penny back. I was also lent £500 to buy my first car but I paid that back too! I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm proud I'm in a fortunate position to be so independant.

Luckyducky_2

My Husband and I have never relied on Money from Parents or Relatives. The only time we have gotten money was $100 as a wedding gift from overseas relatives and $300 from my Mum as a house warming gift that is a Chinese tradition.

We have paid our own way and dug ourselves out of debt without any help and have finally managed to save up enough for a 4 bedroom 1970's brick veneer home. We did all the research and negotiated all the interest rates and had our own deposit. We had to pay the bank $5000 for insurance because our deposit was not big enough but I would rather do that than ask others for money.

We have friends who have managed to buy brand new homes with all the Bells and Whistles because their parents gave them money but we would rather live in our old house bought with our own money because we can hold our heads up high and TRULY say it is OUR House.

How can people not be embarrassed and even proud of something that they have not accomplished on their own. If you're still in school or have experienced some great tragedy then I can understand getting help. But to be married and both working they buy new clothes, go on holidays, buy concert tickets and buy their lunch most days and to have a new house to brag about when it was not done on their own. I look down on people like that and do not share their enthusiasm and excitement about color patterns or floor selections.

Person_one

Luckyducky wrote: »

How can people not be embarrassed and even proud of something that they have not accomplished on their own. If you're still in school or have experienced some great tragedy then I can understand getting help. But to be married and both working they buy new clothes, go on holidays, buy concert tickets and buy their lunch most days and to have a new house to brag about when it was not done on their own. I look down on people like that and do not share their enthusiasm and excitement about color patterns or floor selections.

Hopefully, most of the people you're looking down on won't give two hoots what you think.

NewKittenHelp

Luckyducky wrote: »

My Husband and I have never relied on Money from Parents or Relatives. The only time we have gotten money was $100 as a wedding gift from overseas relatives and $300 from my Mum as a house warming gift that is a Chinese tradition.

We have paid our own way and dug ourselves out of debt without any help and have finally managed to save up enough for a 4 bedroom 1970's brick veneer home. We did all the research and negotiated all the interest rates and had our own deposit. We had to pay the bank $5000 for insurance because our deposit was not big enough but I would rather do that than ask others for money.

We have friends who have managed to buy brand new homes with all the Bells and Whistles because their parents gave them money but we would rather live in our old house bought with our own money because we can hold our heads up high and TRULY say it is OUR House.

How can people not be embarrassed and even proud of something that they have not accomplished on their own. If you're still in school or have experienced some great tragedy then I can understand getting help. But to be married and both working they buy new clothes, go on holidays, buy concert tickets and buy their lunch most days and to have a new house to brag about when it was not done on their own. I look down on people like that and do not share their enthusiasm and excitement about color patterns or floor selections.

So presumably you'll be accepting no inheritance from anyone?

Luckyducky_2

Person_one wrote: »

Hopefully, most of the people you're looking down on won't give two hoots what you think.

No, I don't think they would and that's not the point. It's called expressing your opinion on a discussion forum.

Luckyducky_2

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

So presumably you'll be accepting no inheritance from anyone?

I'm living my life and planning my finances so that I wont have to and so far I have not had to take money from anyone.

Inheritance is what you get when your parents pass away. A hand out is what you get when they are still alive.

And FYI I was not talking about people who have used an inheritance. I was talking about people who take hand outs to supplement their lifestyle.

Mojisola

Luckyducky wrote: »

Inheritance is what you get when your parents pass away. A hand out is what you get when they are still alive.

There are parents who have money to spare and actually enjoy seeing their children benefiting from some extra money. They won't be around to see their children spending an inheritance.