DD won £5k - should she share it?

getmore4less

Mojisola wrote: »

It isn't unfair - it's illegal. You can't take someone else's winnings and use them as your own!

You would have a legal responsibility to look after the money for the child until he/she reaches 18 but it wouldn't be yours.

It's quite shocking that some have no idea of their obligation as trusties of childrens money.

Also at 16(not 18)the parent no longer have control of premium bonds.

Mojisola

getmore4less wrote: »

It's quite shocking that some have no idea of their obligation as trusties of childrens money.

I know cases where the children were left money by grandparents but it all got spent by the parents - and not on the children's needs.

It's only because taking your parents to court is such a drastic step that people get away with stealing from their children.

crochet_2

Your daughter is 13, she is a young adult not a child that you can force or guilt trip to give away their money. What you are suggesting is nothing more than theft.

System

If i was in the OP position i wouldnt dream of making her share her winnings after all it is HER money and HER win after all but i would suggest she goes shopping (with Mum) and buy her siblings a small gift out of the winnings. If she doesnt want to then theres no way i'd make her.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Mojisola wrote: »

I know cases where the children were left money by grandparents but it all got spent by the parents - and not on the children's needs.

It's only because taking your parents to court is such a drastic step that people get away with stealing from their children.

And I knew somebody who insisted he had control of his trust fund and spent it in eighteen months on cars, drugs and drink, then whined when, seven years later, the fund his sister asked their parents to keep hold of, was able to buy her first home with a tiny mortgage, due to not grabbing it all in the middle of a recession.

The reason he whined? 'It's not fair, dad wrote HER a cheque for £80,000 for her house when I only got ten thousand cash. I WANT a house, too'.

He never got the point they were being treated equally.

adelight

I would let her keep it but encourage her to give her siblings a gift or buy them a pizza hut like others say.

My Dad used to take any money given to me or my sister when we were younger and split it between us and not give it to us for years (it would have just gone in a savings account my parents had the books for anyway!). It used to really pee me off, he once took a considerable amount of money that a relative gave me for a particular achievement and split it between me and my sister and didn't give it me for two years. It was given to me because I'd worked bl00dy hard not just a random gift :mad: for the record I have always worked and never been one to fritter money away and am really rather sensible!

kerrypn

Well I think my children would have been pooling and splitting any winnings in this scenario.

Specifically because they were gifts to them and randomly assigned to each-so not a conscious choice of the child to have premium bonds(so cannot be compared to work in later life for example).

I would explain this as by pooling their assets each child had an exponentially higher chance of a win-and until they came of age, this is what would happen.

On coming of age though, I would trust them to their own judgement and hope they remembered that money is easily lost and spent but family are around forever.

If I won a large sum, I would share it around all of my family, it would be so nice to know that no one was struggling especially at the moment when so many of us are struggling. I don't think I could live with myself living in the lap of luxury whilst my nearest and dearest did not have two pennies to rub together.

Agree whole heartedly that it is very hard to change the goal posts now though-what happens if another child wins a million? And the other child never wins a bean?

Dunroamin

aliasojo wrote: »

Isn't it possible that all those children who are raised 'equally' grow up to be expecting and unable to deal with situations that are unequal in life?

Isn't it equally possibly that they grow up with a dislike of inequality and a desire to fight it when they encounter it?

I know which I'd prefer my children to do.

aliasojo

Dunroamin wrote: »

Isn't it equally possibly that they grow up with a dislike of inequality and a desire to fight it when they encounter it?

I know which I'd prefer my children to do.

Tbh Dunroamin, I'd really prefer mine to grow with a more balanced attitude. (By that I mean without a sense of equality entitlement or a cultivated dislike for inequality due to feeling they were affected by unfairness.)

I'm sure there's a middle ground in there.

Dunroamin

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

However any other money they came into I wouldn't "make" them share but should hope I've brought them up to WANT to share.

I think that this is the most important post that's been made and goes to the heart of the matter being discussed.