DD won £5k - should she share it?

Mojisola

dandy-candy wrote: »

BTW I don't think my opinion is more important than anyone else's - I think thats harsh. DH had said that if anyone won a big amount that we should keep it cos they would get it when we die, which I thought was very unfair.

It isn't unfair - it's illegal. You can't take someone else's winnings and use them as your own!

You would have a legal responsibility to look after the money for the child until he/she reaches 18 but it wouldn't be yours.

gravitytolls

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

I'm getting that impression too. Mum's more important than anyone else it seems.

I thought that was normal .... In our house everyone's opinion is equally valid, but not as equal as mine (mum's) lol.

Seriously though, I imagine that's because mum's carry the bulk share of the childcare workload,making decisions, packed lunches, uniform, investigating school choices etc. So decision making regarding the children often feels like 'mum knows best' because mums know kids.

mountainofdebt

Mind you I also thought that the OP's asertion that if one of the chid won, say, the £1M then a property would be bought and the whole family woulld live in it but it would always be the child's was stretching things a little far in my book as well.

I can just see said child, on their 18th birthday saying well thanks for the birthday wishes folks now get the hell out of my house ....wonder how well that would go down.

That's not to say that the money shouldn't be invested properly though.

System

I think as it's her win she should get to keep it and do what she wishes with it.

When i had premium bonds i quite often won £25 and was never expected to share it out between me and my siblings.

Life isn't always fair

Dunroamin

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Why would she be expected to share? If the kids all got an equal amount of premium bonds then it's down to sod's law who wins on them and who doesn't. She's won now, one of her siblings could in the future.

Perhaps it's just me as an only child, but I don't understand this obsession with 'everything must be shared equally' with kids. What if one of them made a fortune through their own hard work one day and the others never progressed beyond menial jobs...would the highflyer be expected to 'share' just because they're related?

I'm an only child as well and often don't "get" sibling relationships but I know that when my dad won on the horses or my mum won at bingo there were always treats for the other two and some degree of sharing.

If any one of us had had major good fortune, the others would never have had to worry about money again. That's my idea of how families work.

Agutka

Ooh, I wonder if one of my boys would win a million. My thinking is we would have to spend it on him now. Good schools, nice house, safer cars, classes, give him a good start in life... but if one gets, the other should too, because they are siblings... As for putting it away... it would be ridiculous for the winner to go without for so long.
But if it is illegal for us to spend the money on kids behalf, then yey, problem solved.

property.advert

I'd get it out of the building society and into a medium to long term investment to provide a larger sum because leaving it as cash is going to see its valued eroded by inflation.

Mojisola

Agutka wrote: »

But if it is illegal for us to spend the money on kids behalf, then yey, problem solved.

It wouldn't be illegal to spend it on their behalf but buying a house in your name is not spending it on the child!

It's a big responsibility to look after a lot of money for a minor.

PasturesNew

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Your DH might be well-intentioned but he's still an interfering git. They are not his premium bonds to meddle with.

Nicely put.
+1

Taadaa

I don't envy your position OP. In all honesty, I am not sure what I would do in this situation. Initially I thought that she should treat them but keep most of it. Then I read burnoutbabe's post about the possible outcome being that she gets to go to uni, which could be a life changing choice if she choses a vocational degree, and the others don't get that opportunity because they can't afford it. The others might end up feeling resentment towards their sister and you into the bargain in such a scenario.

Equally, you want to try and treat all your kids the same, but in this instance it is at risk of making one of them feel hard done by and resentful.

How old is your daughter? (sorry may have missed that) I would be inclined for both of you to have a chat with her and see how she feels about it. Not so much that you want to put the decision on her because that would not be fair, but she is going to be affected by this scenario whatever the outcome so she should get to voice her opinion. And, what would the person who bought them the bonds have done?