DD won £5k - should she share it?

January20

burnoutbabe wrote: »

so one kid gets a car when she turns 18 now, and the others have to spend a year at a part time job to afford one? Or can afford to go to Uni and the other 2 not? doesn't really seem very fair.Unless you will compensate them and help them get a car/pay the others fees.

Maybe split it 2k 1.5k 1.5k so she gets the ipod and £500 for some family day out of her choosing. or 3k pays for a trip to disneyworld for everyone (or something similar of her choice).

When the time comes, what if one of the children cannot drive for say health reasons, does this mean the others shouldn't learn to drive and buy cars because it would be unfair?

What if 1 or 2 of the children decide not to go to university, does this mean the others should not go because it's not fair?

Some kids have to work part-time jobs to buy a car, some get it free from mummy and daddy. That's life. Life is full of unfair experiences. The sooner children realise that life is unfair, sometimes in other people's favour but in your favour, the sooner they will learn to cope with it.

It's the girl's money. She won it fair and square. It is saved up for her for when she needs it for something - hopefully more sensible than a 3k holiday! Her siblings don't seem to want any of it. They seem to be more realistic than their father really!

The only thing I would have done differently is not let her get a treat out of it, since all other wins have been reinvested. That's the bit that is a little unfair as the boys haven't been able to touch any of their winnings.

Grogg

I think the money should have been split equally between the three children as should all the previous wins. A nice win pot to share would have been a nice idea but you have gone down the "me" route and when your husband questions this you refuse to listen.

dandy-candy

Just before dinner I asked the kids what they want to do if they had a big win. First they said whoever won it should keep it, then DS2 said "How big are you talking about?" so I said the £1 million jackpot. Then they said they'd give a bit to the other 2 but not a 3 way split because they though the "winner" should get the most.

BTW I don't think my opinion is more important than anyone else's - I think thats harsh. DH had said that if anyone won a big amount that we should keep it cos they would get it when we die, which I thought was very unfair.

I hadn't asked the kids before because tbh they have had the bonds for 10 years and rarely won so a big win seemed unlikely up until now, but after reading all the replies earlier I thought it would be prudent to sort it BEFORE it happens!

Welshwoofs

Why would she be expected to share? If the kids all got an equal amount of premium bonds then it's down to sod's law who wins on them and who doesn't. She's won now, one of her siblings could in the future.

Perhaps it's just me as an only child, but I don't understand this obsession with 'everything must be shared equally' with kids. What if one of them made a fortune through their own hard work one day and the others never progressed beyond menial jobs...would the highflyer be expected to 'share' just because they're related?

NewKittenHelp

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Why would she be expected to share? If the kids all got an equal amount of premium bonds then it's down to sod's law who wins on them and who doesn't. She's won now, one of her siblings could in the future.

Perhaps it's just me as an only child, but I don't understand this obsession with 'everything must be shared equally' with kids. What if one of them made a fortune through their own hard work one day and the others never progressed beyond menial jobs...would the highflyer be expected to 'share' just because they're related?

No, but I draw a distinction between luck and things received through sheer hard work, and between childhood and adulthood.

jayII

I think the child should do as she pleases as far as sharing goes. I'd insist the bulk of it was saved, but as prizes haven't been shared before now, it is her money. She may reflect and decide to share some of it, or she may keep it all in years to come feel guilty about it, or she may not.

It would be different if the family were in dire poverty and the siblings needed money, as opposed to wanting it.

Yes, she's a lucky girl but it is only money and it would be awful if family fell out over a good but not life changing win.

On the other hand, I think they'd be wise to discuss what happens if one of the children has a huge win in the future. Maybe the winner should keep the first £5,000 and put the remainder in the family pot?

mishkanorman

Our children have both been given bonds, separately in their own names, so for us it would be the holder of the winning ticket gets the money.

I would like to think that when the time comes for 'cashing in' any winnings they would consider how much each of them had, if one had lots more than the other I'd hope they would help each other out. The same as I hope we are teaching them to care and look out for each other in all aspects of their lives.

i dont think the decision needs to be made just yet though, and I would do exactly as the OP has. A little much longed for treat so they see some immediate happiness from the win and savings account for the rest. Which is exactly what we do with birthday money, some years they are given money by relatives and others it will be a present and some times they want a toy/game during the year which we wont buy for them so they use their birthday money for this.

mountainofdebt

But surely the odds of each child winning are now different as winnings have been reinvested ?

angelil

Frogletina wrote: »

Even the above agreement could be unfair

Child A - receives 10 prizes of £50 and keeps them

but in the same timescale

Child B - receives 1 prize of £200 which has to be shared out.

a) This is incredibly unlikely - we've had one win of £50 in many years of having the bonds
b) I can't actually *remember* if the agreed amount was £50 as this was agreed many years ago, and as per point a it has rarely come up again
and c) That's just life sometimes! Quite often whichever agreement people settle on will end up being unfair to someone.

TiaBaby

May I ask, when the previous winnings were reinvested in more bonds, were they shared equally between the children or put solely in the name of the winning child?