It's over. Betrayed, heartbroken, jobless, homeless. (long, sorry, venting)

Mrs.W_2

Ostrichnomore, you are doing so very well. Fantastically well to be taking practical steps to rearrange your home and work life after such a horrible betrayal.

Though I do want to pick you up on that phrase (heard it too many times!), "....but I love him, and want to try ..."

Yes, it's understandable you'd want to secure those feelings. You are low and vulnerable. The security you felt in your love for your OH was a huge comfort in the past, but now it's a false hope. He no longer harbors those feelings in the same way you do.

I'm sorry for being a negative voice, but when I was rather miserable one day after a split when I was 19, a director at work said, "Throw all your BS at your self-respect, whatever sticks you won't give a fig for in a years' time."

I still have no idea what she meant - but liquid lunches were still acceptable back then.

You are doing so very, very well.

faerie~spangles

It would be such a shame if his passport suffered some accidental damage on the eve of his trip.

daska

It would be ever such a shame if he found he had mislaid it...

mrs_sparrow

Or that someone tried to change a couple of the numbers on the code with a biro.

Or drew a false moustache and glasses on his picture.

elona

Not sure if it is true but someone wrote under "distinguishing marks"

"small p***s!"

The errant other half had travelled through several sets of passport controls with floozie getting broad smiles from officials and did not notice it till he got back.

Not a serious suggestion as you would probably get in trouble for defacing the document but it made me smile.

daska

elona wrote: »

not sure if it is true but someone wrote under "distinguishing marks"

"small p***s!"

the errant other half had travelled through several sets of passport controls with floozie getting broad smiles from officials and did not notice it till he got back.

Not a serious suggestion as you would probably get in trouble for defacing the document but it made me smile.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Neillgb

Christian??!!

Lol. OP you are deluding yourself that he ever cared for you, he is simply a user. Its a culture thing.

These silly 'christian' sects are full of people on the make n' take and his sole interest in you now is of a practical nature. Whats in it for him. Screw him financially in every way possible and get out.

Sorry to be harsh but tis the truth.

Best wishes for the future.

margaretclare

Well done so far, but, your basic problem now is 'how to fall out of love with him?'

You're just going to have to remember exactly what he is like. The lies he's told. I could never live with a congenital liar - never in a million years, because I'd never know what I could believe and what not. Even the worst liar tells truth sometimes, or there's a grain of truth in the lies, but when you get to the point where, even if he says it's a fine day you have to look out of the window to check, then it really is time to draw stumps and call it quits.

I thought I knew about Christianity - was brought up a Christian and have belonged to different churches over a lifetime - but this man's Christianity bears no resemblance to any branch of Christianity I ever came across. I wonder what Christ would have thought of it all?

Your question 'how to fall out of love' reminds me of one of the things Jeremy Kyle says when confronted by a couple who're in a toxic and destructive relationship. 'But I love him...' she bleats pathetically (sorry, I don't mean you). Kyle has a way of getting it down to basic essentials. 'Just what is it that you love about him?' Sounds to me, in your case, precious little that can be loved. The grief and anger are part of bereavement, which is a process that has to be gone through and will take time. Don't rush yourself. It will take time, but you can't go on like this, and in the end you'll come out the other side and 'I will survive' will be your theme-song.

Best wishes

marleyboy

Hope you mentioned the traditional parting ritual we have, using the sacrificial circumcision scissors. It's an extra centimetre along the shaft for each Year as a couple. I am sure he would understand, its part of our culture that needs to be adhered to. Its only fair he understands this routine is an important part of getting your blessing.

Fire_Fox

If you deface his passport wear gloves so you don't leave fingerprints and don't write words because they can be matched with your handwriting style.