Dealing with an irrational wife

Hofmeister

some did, but some also said he needed to 'man up' ( i do agree BTW ) and also some said the term abuse is bandied around a little too often. Lets be honest, Andy does sound like wet blanket and he does need to man up and stop being pushed around, but his mrs does need to try and be a bit nicer

I know you agree Aliasojo, and i am glad you have worked out my sense of humour

Faith177

Firstly yes the texts were way OTT but as someone said she may have been tired ect (though this is not an excuse and she does owe you an apology tbf)

I think you need to have a sit down with her and really get this all of your chest and her too. Maybe between come up with a guide to "house rules" or something.

I wouldn't chuck in the towel yet you obviously do care about her but you need to make some adjustments in your lives to iron things out.

Also someone else suggested it but it might be worth speaking to your insurance company to ask about security. I know some don't mind windows being open if their not accessible (ie upstairs windows with no platforms underneath). Then show her the details to put her mind at rest. On that note though if she is security consious should she have left jewellery on the windowsil where people can see it. Even with the window locked they could still smash it. Yes I know you would get paid out but just something that crossed my mind lol

I really hope you can work this out together and wish you good luck

Imp

The text conversation should have gone:

Her: Why did you leave the bedroom window open? How many more times you must check and double check, do you not learn from your previous mistakes? Very cross and disappointed wife.

You: Hormones again dear?

This would have brought a swift end to the text conversation.

moneypanicker

Definitely sounds a bit like me when I've got pmt completely irrational! Hopefully she'll calm down in a few days.

Pollycat

Imp wrote: »

The text conversation should have gone:

Her: Why did you leave the bedroom window open? How many more times you must check and double check, do you not learn from your previous mistakes? Very cross and disappointed wife.

You: Hormones again dear?

This would have brought a swift end to the text conversation.

The text conversation should never have happened - let alone 3 exchanges each.

Why can't people have conversations - especially ones where there is obvious friction - face to face?

paddy's_mum

Andy - have you any idea whatever of just how frustrating, wearing, provoking, tear-inducing, depressing, enraging, and destructive it is when your partner can't/won't/doesn't hear your point of view, nor learn from past mistakes?

Have you yet grasped that someone who can't be bothered to listen to your earnest and loving attempts to keep the matrimonial ship off the rocks will slowly and surely destroy the relationship.

Can you understand that someone who thinks it's enough to say "I'm a bit forgetful" and then sit back and do nothing whatsoever to help himself is going to be red rag to a bull to a woman who thought she was gaining a husband, not the equivalent of the village idiot?

Why do you think it's okay to shove responsibility onto your wife's shoulders whenever the whim takes you (the wallet incident) but have the bare-faced cheek to call her 'irrational' when she protests at you, yet again, taking a thoughtless, unnecessary risk with the security of her home?

I'll tell you what's going wrong, shall I? She's sick of having to be your blasted mother and fed-up to the back teeth with having to do your thinking for you!

I'll bet money that she says things like "he hasn't got the sense to come in out of the rain". I'll bet money that you frequently reply "I just didn't think..."

She probably shouldn't have been so abrupt and unforgiving but by heck, she has every scrap of my sympathy because having to make up the shortfall of someone who can't be bothered to learn how to take responsibility is corrosive in the extreme.

Harry Worth, Mr Pastry, the Keystone Kops etc are only funny the first few times you see it. When you have a day-in, day-out, constant diet of preventing the wheels falling off the wagon, while your spouse obstructs every sensible move you make, it ain't so b*&%dy funny any more.

tryingtocutback

Im surprised she is this fed up about something so trivial after 1 month of marriage - shouldn't it still be in the "oh dear he did it again, isn't it funny" stage?

blunther

She sounds batshit crazy. Get rid.

melanzana

Hey Andy, how did the wedding go with you two? I know there are Bridezillas out there, but was your Mrs a REAL BrideZ?

Do you absolutely adore and love each other no matter about the flipping window? Only married a month, so just wondered.

Did u enjoy your wedding? Was it all organised by Mrs Andy? Did you leave the window open in the Bridal suite? Did you leave your wallet on the top table for all to rob, or did you neglect to polish the flowers or sort the favours?

Does your family like your lady? (sometimes a good sign of trouble ahead if there's a negative consensus there?)

I'd say you need to chillax. Close the window, it's what all normal peeps do when leaving the house, every day, nothing special. Just do it.

Then assess the next problem. If it is trivial, ie is not a danger, smile and buy a. Bunch of roses.

Romance is what you two need. Aaaaahhhhh love. Love and all that. Youre still on honeymoon FGS,

Is think Andy is winding us up somehow.

No one would text like that. It's usually abbreviated. I would have believed more of the texting if it had been presented in txt speak.

A sense of humour can usually defuse many potentially difficult situations.

If you love someone enough, you will be ok.

gingin_2

The past posts do say a lot.

You did so well to get that debt down, it's seriously impressive and yet that still didn't seem enough for her.

She seems very controlling and immature and yet from what I can make out she's at least 35.

The window thing just doesn't seem like a big deal to me, it was a mistake and you apologised but she continued poking you.

Does she really make you happy? The only time you seemed to mention the good times with her were when you were on holiday or eating out at expensive restaurants. It's all a bit sad really.