MSE Pregnancy Club 25

twinklie

Good luck for this pm Rups.

Still no sign of bubba, but man he's been active the last 24 hours. Lots of us boldies now, and not many babies been had. I reckon when one goes, we will all go thick and fast.

savageHK

apparently most busy times on labour ward is when it's a full moon... Not till the 30th of September now for the next one though! Hope you boldies get cuddles way before then.

martafdz

norabatty, thank you very very much!! Your post is SO helpful! I keep a document in the laptop for advice and baby related stuff that I read, so I do not forget and I have everything in the same place, and all the info in your post has gone directly there! Thank you very much!

Rups, I am sorry to hear you could not get the aquanatal, it seems these classes are very difficult to find! I hope you have a great day and you come back later in the day to say your driving test was brilliant! In reply to your question, I am 28 weeks +3, I think. I keep forgetting how many weeks I am!!! I need to count weeks in the calendar every now and then to figure it out! But I started the 3rd trimester last Saturday, so this time I think I got the weeks right I will put it at the end of posts, as I have seen some of you doing it.

Candycane, maybe call the family at the last minute during labour so they do not arrive in the middle but later on?

My own rant. We live in a small 2 bedroom flat, so I do not think we will have much problem with family coming over. My own lives in Spain and they have not suggested anything about coming over, I think they expect us to go at some point later on, because it would be easier than having my whole family coming here. My parents are not very caring really and even though my baby is their first grandchild, they haven't been too overexcited. I think so far I have spoken to my mum like twice over the phone and received a few emails from my dad, but that's it. They mentioned once that they might come, but they have mentioned that every year and they have not visited me in 6-7 years.... so I do not really expect them to. In a sense, I wish the relationship would be different and be worrying about having too much attention, but oh well, deep inside I guess that there are positives to it, and we will be able to do as we please with our daughter. Both my husband and I are so used to be just the two of us, that I do not know if we could really survive too many visits!

My MIL is wonderful, though. She has asked us if we would prefer her to stay before or after the birth, and I have said after, because I think that it would be good to have some advice, since my mum gives none. Some of your posts have made me rethink it, lol, but talking to by husband about it, he reminded me that she said she would stay at the hotel we have nearby. I know she won't be a burden, every time she comes she wants to make cups of tea and help me with the washing up or the cooking, I just don't let her do it! I am used to be the host when I am home, and be a guest when I am in others. I was brought up like that and it is difficult for me to do it differently. I like being in control of the kitchen and the meals, I like cooking from scratch and getting certain ingredients/brands. My husband says I will have to get over it, sit back and let them two do the shopping and the cooking when the baby is here. I know it will be the best, but I am already stressing about being fussy about the meals!! Lol. I might cook in advance and freeze as well. Idk, other than her, I do not think we will have anyone else around.

Our friends moved to other countries recently and our extended families are also spread around. Other than my MIL and her husband, I do not expect anyone. My baby will be her first grandchild as well, so she is very happy, she has already bought lots of clothes and toiletries, lol. My BIL and wife are expecting too, but I am 3 months ahead of her and I do not why I keep thinking my BIL's will be a boy. I kind of hope so too, I think if theirs is a boy and ours a girl, it is less likely they keep comparing them and how they grow, when they talk or when they start walking. They will nevertheless, but I think it will be less than if they were the same sex. Maybe I am just over-thinking stuff.

So in summary, I know family can be a bit overwhelming and sometimes you need to cut them short, but a part of me feels some envy at the fact you all seem to be looked after so well by your families, got so much advice and support. My MIL is great but I still do not feel comfortable just calling her and asking her about pregnancy stuff, I still feel as if it were something very personal that I should not be asking about. I mean, I would not ask her about how was her discharge at this point in pregnancy and so on. I do not feel comfortable enough for that! I know it is weird that somehow I feel it is ok to ask you those kind of questions, though...

ikkle87

Marta I do know where your coming from, I feel like that when people moan about their MIL's, mine passed away in January and miss her like mad and I know my OH does. The rest of his family live down south and so we don't see them.

I have a very strained relationship with my mum and step dad, which is why I'm hoping bubs changes things, and I see my dad twice a year and probably speak to him about 5 times a year. I don't see his side of the family at all. The only people I am really close to are my nan and granddad and my auntie and my auntie is moving to Oz at the end of this month.

So other than my mum doing the whole 'ooh I'm a grandma' for the first few days/weeks I reckon it will be just me, my OH, bubs and my grandparents. That will do though as he will still be loved lots x

snowbean

Ooh Rups, good luck for your test!! I've just managed to rearrange mine (brought it forward) and now I'm like 'oh no, what was I thinking?!'

Moneypuddle, I think that would be cool to meet up, if you guys wanted to? I totally understand all you said about how you're feeling, and a lot of what you said you could have been writing about me. I don't feel like I've made a mistake or want to change my mind, but I am really starting to panic about how soon the baby could actually be here :eek: I had been feeling quite prepared (mentally) and now I'm just like, oh my god, it's really happening, there's actually going to be a baby, and we'll be a family, and everything will change forever, and what if I don't know how to look after it properly, what if something goes wrong, what if I'm a rubbish mum, what if we run out of money?!

Happy due date Emsbet! Hope you're getting your cuddles soon. Speedy labour wishes to all the other boldies too. There do seem to be a lot of people ready to pop at the moment!

Arghh, I was just thinking that my washing might just about be dry, and now it's chucking it down...sigh.
Haven't been feeling very well today, keep feeling sick Bean has been feeling so much more heavy the past few days too, and moving a lot more with stringer movements. And my pelvic bone feels sore Lol, listen to me, moan moan moan.
Ok, need to pull my finger out and pack my hospital bag today. Don't know why I keep putting it off? Can anyone remind me the basics of what I should take for the baby - my mind has gone mushy?

snowbean

Meant to say as well, I can totally empathise with those who are not pleased about having guests come to stay straight after the birth. Think that is going to happen with us too. MIL, SIL and young niece are due to come 3 weeks after my due date. At the moment it seems they're staying with us :cool: Don't get me wrong, I love them and it's nice that they want to come and they'll get to meet the bean so soon, I'm just not sure I'm happy about them all staying with us on this occasion. Any other time, sure, but the idea of it being when bean could possibly be only a week old (if i go overdue), and the fact that they haven't said how long they're planning to stay, it all just feels a bit of an overwhelming prospect at the moment I'm sure they'll be very helpful and all, and I'm not meaning to seem ungrateful for that, just feeling a bit stressed about it all at the moment.

martafdz

ikkle, they sound almost like mine! My parents are together but they like "playing for the audience" more than actually doing stuff. I bet they keep telling all their friends that they are delighted they are going to be grandparents, but when it comes to do something else but chatting to their friends, they always disappoint. At first it was quite hard, people assumed that my mum was around and all over me because I am an only child, and it is hard to admit that it is not that way or that she does not seem to give a damn for no good reason. I have not gotten one single line of advice from her, nor even general questions about me, my bump or what we have organized so far. It is not new behaviour, though. She did the same when we married, I just thought that with a baby would be different. If she is involved, she is bossy and has to be 100% her way, otherwise she is not involved at all, it is double or nothing. Sometimes it makes me quite sad and with current hormonal changes I feel very soppy and lonely, but my husband is right, deep inside I would not want her having a big influence on my kid (she is very extreme and has lots of prejudices) or organizing us around. It is not that I want things to be different, it is that I want them to be different, and since that is not really possible, probably we are better off this way. For my mum, I do everything wrong unless I do it her way, and even so, it would not be perfect, so I can only think of how she would be with my baby! It still makes me sad, specially when I go to the mw and she makes conversation about if my parents are happy, if they are coming for the birth, if my mum will be for the antenatal classes... argh... I wish sometimes the staff would not assume we all have great relationships with our parents, it makes me feel awkward.

bikelesschick

Happy due date The next Verse & MissMonkeyMoo
Rups - you won't see this until after the test but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!
dizsie - I'm sorry to hear about less movement. How did your mw appointment go?
KatyLiz - I hope you feel better soon. Take good care of yourself and baby
Re: guests visiting. I hadn't given it much thought apart from I wouldn't mind my parents being around at the time of baby's birth (not at the hospital though!), but now I'm having second thoughts. I thought it'd be nice for my parents to be here (first grandchild as well) and that they'd help, etc. But now I'm getting the feeling that my dad isn't coming at all (we don't get on well but still?) and my mum wants to come but as a guest, rather than a helper. If that's the case, then frankly, she can come at some other point once I'm human again. Sadly, I might need to impose a ban on all visitors it could create massive problems though but they all live far and will expect to stay at ours but I know I won't be able to be a host and, tbh, they're not the priority, we are!

Also, landlord just told us he wants to replace the central heating and booked workmen to come in from the 23rd onwards so we wouldn't have hot water for a few days. Er, helloooo, I'm due on the 19th?? I'm slightly annoyed as he knows I'm due soon, but we'll see if he can bring it forward. Saying that, I may just use him as an excuse of why people can't come and visit;)

dizsiebubba

Bikeless the appt is in the morning x

ikkle87

Yep Marta thats my mum all over. She performs infront of everyone. If it doesn't make her look good she's not interested. Thankfully I've got my grandparents who I'm extremely close with so don't miss out completely on the mum and dad role x