Hypothetically speaking........

thatgirlsam

fifi_browne wrote: »

We started to separate at the beginning of the year - and his tears were incredible, he never ever stopped crying and lost weight, and I felt blackmailed to stay. This is the truth. I am frightened of being alone, especially now my son has gone and he was absolutely the love of my life!

He deserves to cry, good!

Are you afraid of what he'll do to you if you go?

Your son can still be the love of your life.

jenhug

I have no time for adults that tantrum like a 2 year old. I would be gone.

System

The more you keep putting up with, the shorter his fuse will be when he reacts to something he doesnt like.

Bad behaviour always needs to be addressed and if your too frightened to address the problem what chance do you have?

madvixen

fifi_browne wrote: »

We started to separate at the beginning of the year - and his tears were incredible, he never ever stopped crying and lost weight, and I felt blackmailed to stay. This is the truth. I am frightened of being alone, especially now my son has gone and he was absolutely the love of my life!

I was terrified of being alone hun. I'd lost my friends and family over him and I truly believed that he was worth it. Yes, the first few months after leaving were awful but gradually I started to get my confidence back, I went out, made new friends and started to live life again.

18 months ago I met someone, what I feel for him has made me realise that I never really loved the ex. It was quite an eyeopener and made me angry that I'd put up with him for so long.

thatgirlsam

jayII wrote: »

There are no words!

How old is your son? Not that it really matters! Parents are supposed to protect their children.

I think when you get caught up in that whole domestic violence thing then a lot of common sense and 'normal' priorities goes out the window.

I struggle to understand how the OP has let this happen myself but have known victims of DV and although we can see what they should do clearly, they cannot

Silver_123

jayII wrote: »

There are no words!

How old is your son? Not that it really matters! Parents are supposed to protect their children.

Edited to add: I remember your earlier thread, I was disgusted then and that hasn't changed. I would walk over coals for my children and can't understand a person who allows a partner to come into their life and abuse their teenage child.

He's now 18, left 3 months before he got to 18 year old. Husband hardly spoke to him and only to belittle him - it's true.

Silver_123

jayII wrote: »

There are no words!

How old is your son? Not that it really matters! Parents are supposed to protect their children.

Edited to add: I remember your earlier thread, I was disgusted then and that hasn't changed. I would walk over coals for my children and can't understand a person who allows a partner to come into their life and abuse their teenage child.

I know. He is not bad on the whole - just has wonky bits which we all do have.

madvixen

fifi_browne wrote: »

I know. He is not bad on the whole - just has wonky bits which we all do have.

There's a huge difference between wonky bits and domestic violence hun. If your son came to you and asked the same question that you'd asked what would your advice to him be?

Silver_123

jenhug wrote: »

I have no time for adults that tantrum like a 2 year old. I would be gone.

I just don't know how to go I suppose! And I am frightened too.

thatgirlsam

fifi_browne wrote: »

He's now 18, left 3 months before he got to 18 year old. Husband hardly spoke to him and only to belittle him - it's true.

How long have you been married?

Can you not move out and stay somewhere for a bit? You might find being alone isn't as bad as you think...