Hypothetically speaking........

Silver_123

Hypothetically...........if your husband lost his temper to an extent he kicked doors in/smashed things/damaged (your) things - would you stay? If this happened about 3 or 4 times a year? Even if the other bits were ok-ish. Knowing that if you left, you would have probably hard times financially........and you would be lonely...........what would YOU do????? (thanks!)

lovesabargain123

If that was my oh then I'm sorry if it's not want you want to hear but I would leave him. I can't stand violence and I know I would be walking on egg shells and living in fear of the next time it happened and I also know whilst he was doing it I'd be absolutely bl@@dy petrified
X

thatgirlsam

Not for me, personally I couldn't put up with someone who smashes the house up!

I couldn't be doing with living somewhere that has holes in doors etc, let alone the emotional turmoil

Is there children involved?

And why does he only smah your stuff up, has he smashed up his own stuff?

Gingerjar

I'd run like the wind. Better class of loneliness on your own than being lonely and scared in a hideous marriage.

You poor thing x

mrsrwallace

i'd personally leave but i know that with domestic abuse it is very scary to even consider leaving. there is a domestic abuse/womens refuge thread on this site somewhere so it would be a good idea to get some accurate info from it as i am not experienced to comment.

i do know though that you can't live an "ok-ish" life waiting on the temper to flare up and nobody has the right to destroy your things. Financially it would be difficult at first but there is help available to get you set up on your own and it is better to be alone than with someone who treats you with no respect.

Jinx

Id leave - how long can you live with that level of stress of not knowing when the next 'episode' will be?

lilymay1

I can't imagine my OH ever doing that, but I suppose if he ever did I would be so shocked that I would leave for sure.

I would be forever wondering if I was ever going to become one of the things he 'smashed up'.

Silver_123

No, no children involved, my son disliked him so much he has gone to live with his dad in Australia. And yes, always my stuff gets smashed up - never his. Would be difficult financially though I do work. Yes there are holes in the doors, yes he smashed the back door in last night, and he smashed up my stuff last night too - grim! Thanks.

moodydonkey

Hypothetically I would be scared sh1tless. In reality, start a new life. Do it NOW. Houses are found, as are jobs and friends. If you are thinking hypothetically then act on those thoughts I think, go with your instinct.

Tropez

Before I decided to leave, I would first make enquiries about local anger management courses, particularly those run by NHS mental health services for free.

Some people struggle to control their anger, possibly due to having never been taught ways to manage it appropriately. Rather than give up on them as a person, there are proven methods of helping someone deal with their anger more effectively if they are willing to put the effort into it.

barbiedoll

You think that everything else is "ok-ish" but when you leave, you will realise that everything was not okay at all. Can you imagine what it is like, not having to keep quiet in case you upset anyone? Can you imagine not dreading the key in the door? How lovely would that be.......?

And it's doors and stuff now, sooner or later it will be legs, arms and faces.

Take it from one who knows......there is a better life for you than this.