Boyfriend/husband and lap dancing clubs..???

VestanPance

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I think expecting your OH to never, ever find other women sexually attractive is really unrealistic. This doesn't mean that he will cheat on you.

Expecting your OH to only EVER think of you in a sexual way is just not going to happen imo. It's normal to be sexually attracted to humans of the opposite sex. Or the same sex.

True, but there's a difference between that and paying for a lap dance.

I mean I love cake and walk past a bakery on my way to work, but I don't buy the cakes. I may look at them and think damn that looks good. Although in lap dancing terms it would be like the cake being thrust in your face, taking your money and then throwing you out without so much as a bite. I really don't see the point of lap dancing.

RuthnJasper

At least the lap-dancing club in question wasn't "The Baghdad Club" in Barcelona. Don't Google it; it'll make you sick.

Apologies for offending the gents on the thread earlier - I meant, by saying "it pretty-much sums up...." to imply that not ALL chaps were mucky neanderthals!

System

I really don't see the point of lap dancing.

Lapdancing, pole dancing..... i should only imagine it would 'work' if your attracted to the woman doing it in the first place.

thatgirlsam

VestanPance wrote: »

True, but there's a difference between that and paying for a lap dance.

I mean I love cake and walk past a bakery on my way to work, but I don't buy the cakes. I may look at them and think damn that looks good. Although in lap dancing terms it would be like the cake being thrust in your face, taking your money and then throwing you out without so much as a bite. I really don't see the point of lap dancing.

What is the actual difference though? You look at the cakes and think damn they look good, some guys look at scantily clad girls and think damn they look good..

You might look at the cake and it gives you an appetite to go home and eat the cake baked by your wife! I don't see the harm in it myself

BugglyB

thatgirlsam wrote: »

You've been watching the wrong kind of p0rn!

I agree, also, do you have any idea how much !!!!!! you'd have to watch to make a qualified judgement to say 'most !!!!!!' :rotfl:

VestanPance

Judi wrote: »

Lapdancing, pole dancing..... i should only imagine it would 'work' if your attracted to the woman doing it in the first place.

I find both to be trashy and unappealing, no matter who is doing it. I find women with elegance and intelligence to be sexy. I'd be far more turned on by a woman using her brain, not those types of scenario.

In the same way I find those rap videos with "booty shaking" to be hilarious rather than sexy.

VestanPance

thatgirlsam wrote: »

What is the actual difference though? You look at the cakes and think damn they look good, some guys look at scantily clad girls and think damn they look good..

You might look at the cake and it gives you an appetite to go home and eat the cake baked by your wife! I don't see the harm in it myself

The difference is if you want to see an attractive woman take a walk down any town or city high street. You really don't need to pay to go to a club to find the lost world of attractive women.

In fact I'd argue that you'll see far better looking women going about their their day to day lives than you'd ever see in one of those places.

Lotus-eater

BugglyB wrote: »

I agree, also, do you have any idea how much !!!!!! you'd have to watch to make a qualified judgement to say 'most !!!!!!' :rotfl:

Oh, some people on here just think they know everything about everything and their view must be right. Black and white.

mumoftwins

I think there are two different issues here: Lap dancing Clubs versus Male Strippers.

Firstly, when you get a load of women together at a Male Stripper, it is all so ridiculous that the women are shrieking with laughter. There is no real 'turn on' as it is all hilarious.

However, lap dancing clubs, despite the loud music, are a more serious, sensual and sexual thing altogether. The men take it far more seriously. When the women dance for the men (not privately) they still get very close to the men and are extremely sensuous when dancing.

My now ex husband used to visit these places regularly (probably still does) so I asked him to take me there one night. He was shocked and actually rang the place to ask if I could go! When we got there he had a dance in the public area and the woman performed a sensual strip only inches from his face, she couldn't have got her b**bs or n*pples any closer to his mouth without actually touching it! The way she writhed in front of him was nothing like the way male strippers prance around in front of women, it was far more intimate.

He, then, had a private dance where he went into a private area at the back of the club. There were many men sitting in large comfy chairs well spaced apart with slight partitioning between each chair. The women danced very closely as they did in the public area, but it seemed, because of the slight partioning, that it was just the two of them partaking in this intimate act.

I spoke to one of the girls for quite some time and she was saving for a house. She was a really nice girl who reckoned that she would be 'past it' by the time she was 33/34 but that she would have made enough money to buy her house outright by then (she was 25).

The thing with those of us who don't like these places is that we believe men to be picturing these women in their minds when they are being intimate with us at home. We think that it isn't us that is 'turning our men on', we are just a vessel for them to perform whilst they dream of the women who have danced so sensually for our men.

My ex also to look at !!!!!! on the internet. He made no conversation with me and didn't seem interested in being part of the family, but after his session on the internet suddenly he wanted to know me!!

Hence why we are no longer married

thatgirlsam

VestanPance wrote: »

The difference is if you want to see an attractive woman take a walk down any town or city high street. You really don't need to pay to go to a club to find the lost world of attractive women.

In fact I'd argue that you'll see far better looking women going about their their day to day lives than you'd ever see in one of those places.

That's not really a difference though is it?

I agree that you would see equally attractive women walking down the high street. Lap dancers etc also go shopping too!

I think this is the point. If your guy can look at attractive women anywhere/everywhere, then why is it so wrong to do so within this type of club?