Am I being over sensitive ?

flyonthewall_2

Jinx wrote: »

You are a stepmother doing a difficult job and you clearly care so all brownie points to you for that. As someone whose daughter has an adored stepmother I know it must be difficult at times even if the rewards are great (and as a mother Ive always appreciated her support of my child even if she wouldnt speak to me!).

I can totally understand that for one night you wanted your situation to be put first, those that are castigating you for this I think are being unfair. Yes it might be short notice and yes it might not be fair on the children but life is full of changes and you and hubby see the children enough to be a constant, its not like this one sleepover is the only visit of the month. I think it should be they all stay or all go home though is the fairest way. It could be the following sat they stay over for example.

I actually think you are most annoyed at hubbys worrying about the ex partners plans - well he could have at least asked her..... Surely common sense dictates a little flexibility!

thankyou so much for understanding.

flyonthewall_2

Person_one wrote: »

A really simple way to look at it, if your children's father cancelled a visit at the last minute for this reason, would you think it was acceptable?

been there done that and guess what I went with the flow. No point in upsetting my children by making a scene now is there.

Errata

flyonthewall wrote: »

Oh not childish angry at the fact that ev1 seems to not give a hoot that the childrens mum changes their routine whenever she likes, and as I said all along I'm still having 2 of them !

I will say again this is the first time I have ever asked for a bit of a change and this is how I am treated like .

So come on someone tell me how comes it's ok for her to change the routines, why is no one flaming her for upsetting her children or their dad every time she does this.

1) She's not posting on here, no doubt if she was she'd be put in the picture about her behaviour.
2) You sound like a kid who expects everything to be even, equal, fair and your black cat to be as black as everyone else's black cat. Sorry - life's not like that, grow up and accept it.

CH27

CH27 wrote: »

Sorry if i've missed it but how old is your eldest & where does he normally live?

Could you answer this ^^^^ please?

BitterAndTwisted

OP: you gave some background and then asked a question. You got answers. You didn't like them, so then threw in some more damning info about someone else's behaviour as if that makes your own acceptable. It doesn't. With every succeeding post you make yourself sound more and more childish and more and more disagreeable.

flyonthewall_2

Person_one wrote: »

Are you actually reading any posts, because you're just repeating yourself when people have actually addressed what it is that you're saying.

Yes I am reading and guess what I can see. A thread with a lot of mums who are obviously annoyed at me cos I asked for a bit of support once in 2 years how dare I, what do I count I am only a stepmum.

Its obviously only maternal mothers that can mess with their childrens routine as and when they feel like it and upset the kids and their dad, well I applaud all you lovely responsible mothers out there that are selfish enough to think that u can do this to your kids just cos u are mum and the kids dads and us step mums are supposed to sit there and suck it up and support you in this.

But the one time I as a stepmum ask can I just be given a bit of support this one week ......... I become the step mum from hell.

emsywoo123

OP how old is your son?

flyonthewall_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

OP: you gave some background and then asked a question. You got answers. You didn't like them, so then threw in some more damning info about someone else's behaviour as if that makes your own acceptable. It doesn't. With every succeeding post you make yourself sound more and more childish and more and more disagreeable.

Nope reread first post it clearly says she chops and changes when she see's fit.

carolan78

I don't think anyone has declared you stepmum from hell but you're portraying yourself like a petulant teen. You still haven't answered how old your eldest is.

I am sure you know someone who has an airbed, or you could even buy one for situations like this. You and hubby have the airbed, little ones can go in your bed everybody has somewhere to sleep so everyone is happy.

There is always a way around these things without disappointing anyone. Reading between the lines I would say you and your partner have underlying issues surrounding his ex and that's possibly why this issue has blown out of proportion for you.

Bennifred

flyonthewall wrote: »

Nope reread first post it clearly says she chops and changes when she see's fit.

Well - you can't change her behaviour. It's not tit-for-tat though. Her behaving badly doesn't make it OK for you to behave badly.