One of my workers is pregnant for my best friends fella.

Errata

Of course it's your business. You didn't pull him up about having a different name and being the fiance of his bit on the side. You went along with what you were told and whether you like it or not that's made you part of things, and makes it your business.

yvonne13_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I can understand her hesitation though.

Her friend could end up forgiving her husband and staying with him
and then she becomes the outcast, I have seen it happen before.

This is exactly what I am thinking.

mildred1978

yvonne13 wrote: »

This is exactly what I am thinking.

Which is why I've offered to tell her for you. She doesn't need to know it came from you.

lostinrates

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I can understand her hesitation though.

Her friend could end up forgiving her husband and staying with him
and then she becomes the outcast, I have seen it happen before.

I think the friend ship is doomed if she doesn't tell her friend in anycase. Doesn't spund like he going to be supportive of the friendship with this hanging over his head so he will probably manipulate the end of the friendship.

shell_girl

If this is as you've described then you need to tell your best friend and you need to tell your colleague.

Don't try to find ways of engineering situations, eg getting them all in one place, wedding photos etc- you will end up looking at best a bit silly as your colleague knows you have now met her 'fiance' on at least two occasions (Christmas party and lift home). At worse you could look like a very cruel sh*t stirrer.

You can't get in touch with your friend tonight, so maybe you will have to leave it until tomorrow when either she or her partner is at work. Don't keep trying all night, let him think you've given up. If he is as desperate and panicky as you've implied then it is not fair to your friend to antagonize him further when she is alone with him and heavily pregnant.

Your colleague is a bit tricky, you need to make sure you are telling her out of 'work time'. If you are her superior then authorise some leave for her, call her in and tell her that there is something you need to tell her that is nothing to do with work, but she might find it upsetting and so you are giving her the rest of the day off. Then tell her.

Don't dress it up, don't elaborate, just say that you're very sorry you didn't say anything in the shop but you were a bit shocked. Explain that her 'fiance' was giving you a lift home from the party as you are his wife's best friend. If you think she will need to see it, that is the point at which you show her your friend's wedding photos. Tell her that you wanted to show her the photos as proof because 'fiance' has threatened to say that you are making it up for whatever reasons.

None of the story makes much sense to me, but if I've understood it correctly then the above is what I would do in your situation.

poet123

He has been taking a hell of a chance wandering round Manchester (I assume that is where you saw him) he could have bumped into anyone at any time.

balletshoes

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I can understand her hesitation though.

Her friend could end up forgiving her husband and staying with him
and then she becomes the outcast, I have seen it happen before.

again, I don't disagree with that, but I couldn't in all conscience not tell my best friend this. I'd have to tell her, and suffer any fallout.

FBaby

I can understand how dreadful this must be for you and I certainly wouldn't trade places, but don't make it even more dramatic than it is. Just email your friend, tell her what you saw and what happened, that you've tried to call her to talk to her but her husband had her mobile and answered and to expect him to tell her that he had an affair with you because that's what he threatened you with. Add that you can show proof of the other girl if she wants. Of course add the 'I'm very sorry etc...'.

If she gets cross with you, believe him having an affair with you, even though you warned her would say that, then she is just desilusioned (which might happen hormones not helping), but that is something to accept. There is no doubt that the truth would come out in the end and she will know that you were honest.

If there is one thing that makes it just about impossible for a cheating man to deny an affair is a baby coming out of it.....

billa_champion

Well surely the other woman would back you up? So there can be no 'blame' on you for stirring!

yvonne13_2

@shell_girl I will caller her in the office at the end of the working when everyone has gone home and tell her then.

I really wanted to tell my friend tonight so she knows first but I am scared to go to her house on my own as I don't know what her husband is capable of.

I have just send my friend a skype and hopefully he hasn't seen it.