Self Respect vs Responsibility

FBaby

I am teaching my daugther that less is often more, that what is attractive is what is being kept secretive, that concentrating on looking healthy is also more attractive.

I come from France originally and I still haven't adjusted to that British culture of young girls showing as much body parts as possible, in often a very unglorifid way. Having class in the way one held themselves, talks, smile, dress is what she should aim for rather than expressing sexual attraction.

Thankfully, my 12DD, who is very lucky to have a dream figure in the making isn't interested at all in showing her body, as a matter of fact, is quite shy about it. I would be horrified if she went out in a skimpy skirt, her stomach or chest exposed.

It has nothing to do with protecting yourself from what boys could think. It is irrelevant, nothing can justify rape in any way. It's about knowing what attracts people who can also appreciate beauty through their brain rather than just their hormones.

notakid

Its interesting, it seems women are their own worst enemy at times. There are a few comments on the Prom thread saying that young girls are dressing tarty and they feel congratulatory when their children pass comment sneering at the "tarts" appearance. Could it be that they may feel a little threatened by their peers with their perfect figures?;) more than the fact that they wish to appear decent?

(And I speak as one of the dumpy ones. I could never look like the perfect girls at school and my daughter who is certainly attractive but isn't a glamour puss herself)

We need as Women to pass on the right message. All we are doomed I tell you!:p

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

Honestly, comparing a woman's body to an object of property is quite offensive. I really hate it when that comes up.

I didn't compare a woman's body to an piece of property. You've read something into it I didn't mean.

I would advise a son that he bears some responsibility for what happens to him. If he shows off an expensive phone and is later mugged and has it stolen, he needs to understand that the mugging might not have happened if he'd been more discreet.

If he chooses to take a short-cut that might be dangerous and he is attacked, that was an unwise decision.

As well as the above, I would advise a daughter that the way she dresses could make someone pick her out as a target.

I would advise both that if they got drunk to the point of being incapable, they would be increasing their risks of being attacked.

They wouldn't be responsible for being mugged or attacked but they might have avoided it by making different decisions. It would be their choice - the short-cut versus the risk, the skimpy clothing versus the risk.

skintchick

There's a lot I could say on this subject and I might yet do so when I am not in bed recovering but I feel the need to at least say this:

Rape happens because rapists rape.

What women do, say, drink or wear is irrelevant.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

I didn't compare a woman's body to an piece of property. You've read something into it I didn't mean.

I would advise a son that he bears some responsibility for what happens to him. If he shows off an expensive phone and is later mugged and has it stolen, he needs to understand that the mugging might not have happened if he'd been more discreet.

If he chooses to take a short-cut that might be dangerous and he is attacked, that was an unwise decision.

As well as the above, I would advise a daughter that the way she dresses could make someone pick her out as a target.

I would advise both that if they got drunk to the point of being incapable, they would be increasing their risks of being attacked.

They wouldn't be responsible for being mugged or attacked but they might have avoided it by making different decisions. It would be their choice - the short-cut versus the risk, the skimpy clothing versus the risk.

Sorry, but yes you are comparing rape to a theft, thereby comparing the woman's bodily autonomy to an object.

shell_girl

We live in a society that agonises over how best to teach girls not to get raped. When we live in a society that agonises over the best way to teach boys not to rape then we might start getting somewhere.

Ada_Doom

skintchick wrote: »

There's a lot I could say on this subject and I might yet do do when I am not in bed recovering but I feel the need to at least say this:

Rape happens because rapists rape.

What women do, say, drink or wear is irrelevant.

Yes! I did a little cheer in my head when I read this! Anything else is a red herring.

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry, but yes you are comparing rape to a theft, thereby comparing the woman's bodily autonomy to an object.

I'm comparing a young man getting physically attacked to a young woman getting physically attacked.

skintchick

Mojisola wrote: »

I'm comparing a young man getting physically attacked to a young woman getting physically attacked.

Theft is not a physical assault. It is theft.

Rape is far more than a physical assault. It is a sexual violation.

When something is stolen it can be returned or replaced.

That is not applicable to rape.


Now do you get it?

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

I'm comparing a young man getting physically attacked to a young woman getting physically attacked.

It seems like you're saying that they are attacked because they have something valuable on display, and that they should hide it to stay safe. Him a phone, her, herself.